The Pub Crawl of Doom
September 21st, 2006.
Previously…
I had figured out that it was time to go home around the first week of October in order to get back for some interviews that I had set up. Keary and I spent a whole lot of time shopping around for random gifts for our mum, our cousin Lisa, and Gina. Shopping is fun, when you know what you’re looking for. When you don’t, it’s much less so.
So, home, a place that I hadn’t seen in forever, and wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to return to. But I had to go back. Responsibilities, other destinies, moving on again. That sort of thing. The not so fun part of a vacation, returning to the big bad real world. Would everything be out of place, or would I be out of place?
And now…
It was all Keary’s idea. That’s the only thing that you have to remember before we go on. It was his idea because he told me that we’d have to entertain his rather obnoxious boss, Eddie, who had gotten a new lucrative job with another company and would be leaving his current company soon. I had met said obnoxious boss weeks ago, and let’s just say that the encounter left a rather bad taste in my mouth. So there. That should explain everything perfectly clearly.
So, on the way to Helios, Keary and I joked about how weird if the night would actually end with Phil sober. We knew that was more or less impossible, but it was nice to dream. First stop, Helios.
As usual, Phil was really late, but Eddie was even later. In order for them to enhance their chances of chasing women, we got a table. In Korea, every social event, be it a party or date, involves the heavy imbibing of wine. And the wine has to be imbibed at a table. If you don’t have a table, well, then you don’t have a chance. Drink wine at a table, wait for women to sit with you, and that’s it. Let’s move on.
The portion of the night was called “Eddie on Eddie” by Keary. Eddie was one of the types who was so full of himself, it was funny. According to himself, he was God’s gift to the universe. And women. We heard about his prowess with the ladies, how badass he was in the bar fights he had been in (He’s 5’6”, and maybe 145 lbs soaking wet, and unless he’s the reincarnation of Bruce Lee, he was NO badass, maybe more of a jackass). Apparently every attractive woman who walked by, he claimed that they we were too fat or too ugly. Mind you, there were some really attractive women out there for him. Mind you, he was also obviously insane. Well, either that or legally blind. I left the table to go dance, while Keary and Phil continued to placate Eddie’s ego.
When I returned to the table, Eddie’s true intentions had become clear. He really didn’t like Helios. Keary had told me earlier that he was a big fan of Korean social scene, and their culture. And when I mean culture, I mean nightlife. It’s akin to stepping into the 1980’s all over again. Sure, they may dress modern, but they’re old school. It was actually kind of nostalgic in a way.
We ended up at some random club in a heavily homogenous part of town. We were the only foreigners that I could see. Eddie loved this, and had a ball at the club. Somehow he managed to pick up a group of Korean girls. I just sat at the bar, sipping on my Jack & Coke (a properly mixed one, as Koreans love their whiskey). No one spoke English, so it wasn’t worth it at all to try and socialize. The music was excellent though.
He got bored with the club, and got what he wanted, which were the girls’ phone numbers. He then told us that the girls were hideous, but didn’t care. That was kind of crazy, since the girls were pretty cute. I don’t know what he was thinking. Maybe he said that because he thought Phil was getting too cozy with one of them.
Our next stop was at a restaurant, where we had beers and a much needed midnight snack. Eddie ordered, since the menu wasn’t in English, and Phil (who was Korean himself, and our best translator) was busy still talking to the girls from the club who followed us (read: followed Phil) around. Keary, Phil, and I wanted beef or chicken. What did we get? I honestly don’t know. I couldn’t eat any of it. Too chewy. Phil explained that it was octopus kebab, and I passed on the food. I wasn’t too happy about that.
Eddie wanted to go to another bar. I secretly hoped that he would get too drunk to make it. But we hopped in another cab and ended walking around forever to find a bar that Phil claimed was brilliant. Keary just shrugged his shoulders, telling me that it would be over soon. And he was right. By the time we got to the bar, Eddie was pretty hammered. He and Phil hopped back into the cab, and departed, leaving Keary and I in some odd part of town at 3 in the morning. We elected to go home, as the night was so over.
Keary explained that he didn’t have a lot of friends in town because of the transient nature of people, and the fact that his coworkers were, for the lack of a better term, clowns. I felt bad leaving him without hanging partners, but there wasn’t much of a choice there. I told him to get back to the States. The couch never looked so wonderful, as I triumphantly passed out, having survived the Pub Crawl of Doom.
Next: It’s an 80’s retro explosion, as my last official nights in South Korea begin. Introducing Mary, the atypical English teacher. Oh, and something about that reminds me of I-Bar. What does that mean? You’ll see.