All Points Beyond
June 1st, 2006. A suitcase, a duffle bag, a knapsack, and a toiletry travel kit. Packing away, I am, on a quiet Thursday evening. It's been like this all day, and I'm nearly well done with everything. It's a blind relief, getting away from home finally. This whole National Guard Annual Training deal isn't a vacation by any stretch of the imagination. I'd call it a getaway. Yes, that would work, a getaway.
Its been a shitty year for me. I haven't done a lot of what I really should have been doing. The beginning was all a flash of blatant hedonism and selfishness. I had a right to be selfish. Everyone one does every now and then. Give give give, and no take had been my mantra for the longest time. Of course there was the tipping point, a few apocalypses to survive (my near trip to Afghanistan), that sort of thing.
Being back in good old Orlando opened my eyes to a lot of things. I was happy to be home again, with the people I knew...not playing teacher to a group of kids who I had to sometimes strong-arm or coerce or convince to do the right thing. Life was easy again. Mississippi was hell sometimes...save for the last weekend, when I had a really good time (I'll explain later). Orlando was my rise back to sweet purgatory. Nothing wrong with that.
Thought I had a new direction in life. That appeared to be a thinly veiled illusiononly existent because of my newfound glee of being home and not in some negatively charged state of being in hell. Illusions were there, but I was still sort of off.
The off state lasted for a while, and then disappeared. It was a time of new everything. New life, new status, new everything? That was the new normality. Then the balance was lost, order and chaos showed themselves with really big guns, and the battle was joined. Big mess. Big changes. All over again, faster than before. It was only inevitable that I'd lose control and fall once again. So it happened, and nothing would ever be the same again.
So here we are, a break of sorts. This summer's going to be big. Every answer that I've ever wanted is going to be answered quite soon. Am I ready for it? Thats going to be something that I'll know when I get back from my little...journey. Starke, Miami, Seoul, and all points beyond. Where am I going? Further than I've ever gone before...see you lot in a few weeks.