Whinejournal
On the Shattered Legacies event:
We ran an event. It was awesome. We had plenty of enthusiastic crew (sorry, monsters) and it went fantastically well - much better than I was expecting. Very glad we ended up on the 'more' side rather than 'less'.
High points would be:
The way in - Seeing all the players kitted up and ready to go, marching along in formation with Eli and Kalin shouting orders. Watching 'team scout' run off to the left, thinking 'oh god, oh god, the players are going into that UNSAFE bit!' and then seeing how sweet it looked and being able to trust people not to break themselves. Took much longer than expected, and we were already starting late - but that was a *really* good thing in the end. It allowed us to keep an interesting human NPC antagonist faction to play with for the weekend rather than briefly for one night. (Initial 'schedule' was going to be for the players to go and kill the Clarion Order on Friday night. Thank fuck that didn't happen, both for safety and 'let's not throw away one of our most interesting monster/kit options before they've even done anything?' purposes)
The Friday meal - especially when the hardliners turned up. Briefly got a chance to see how that panned out 'on the ground' with the players and was involved in the big "Alright then lads, kill em all!" ruck. What a blast. Being able to watch the scene evolve and play out in a manner that was every bit as awesome as I'd been hoping all these months - that was such a huge buzz.
The shrine mission with Avitus. Hardcore points go to Jeff.
Saturday's meal with the 'Me's and Soulflayer - Fuck yes! oxfordgirl was absolutely perfect for that role. Great atmosphere, great set-dressing. Watching players stacking up, ready to do some PvP...that was tense.
Erikan's pack/Duel with Levan. Hell yeah. Levan is FUCKING METAL!
The scene at the end of the final Golem mission. Very heartfelt (actually making me choke), such a great 'noble sacrifice' - and then the hilarious "WAIT! That bastard...he was wearing my HAT!" moment that came afterwards.
And of course, the Grand Finale. Replete with Vedanya's outro. Fuck, when Anya started crying it was infectious...
All in all, things were relatively smooth. When running an event, I think the lesson you pick up first (and most importantly) is that you can't have a set-in-stone "Plan" for everything. In fact, part of the appeal is winding it all up and seeing where it finally comes to rest. If things don't go to "Plan", it's critically important to not get stressed and instead just concentrate on making sure what *does* happen makes sense, both in terms of 'Anatomy of an OOC fun event' and 'We want to be *here* IC by the end'. Being prepared to drop things when you inevitably don't have time/space for them is important. Being prepared to add things on the spot in order to keep things moving/interesting - likewise.
So, there's a positive start. Very un whine-journal, yes?
On post-event LRP burn-out:
Post-event, I have been suffering fairly major burn-out over the last few weeks. Didn't expect to, but it's an inevitable side-effect. I was expecting to suffer any burn-out *before* the event, all told.
In fact, until CP I was suffering some serious LRP burn-out in general. Mainly because I was looking at next year and at the systems I definitely absolutely unequivocably wanted to do, and wondering if Maelstrom and CP were still on the top of that list. The prospect of Maelstrom falling off the top slot didn't seem right, somehow, when looking back at the frothtastic glee with which I used to view the system. Has the magic truly begun to fade? I think I'm gradually coming to realise that I genuinely *do not enjoy a PvP focus* in LRP (and am extremely glad that EOS has settled down and drifted away from that particular direction over the last couple of events). A care-bear is me, I'm afraid.
On movies:
Have been watching a lot of movies recently, and being rather selective with the choice of crowd - was perhaps a little too snappy with people when "having a small group of others round to watch Armageddon" turned into a full-on talking-over-the-movie MST session. Which is great, if you don't actually want to watch said movie - but the purpose, in my mind, of choosing to watch Armageddon was to self-indulgently pretend that the big overblown melodramatic self-sacrifice finale (that normally brings a tear to my eye) was in any way similar to a self-sacrifice scene that occurred at the Shattered Legacies event (which also brought a tear to the eye). I like getting caught up in a movie. I like being taken along for the ride, being swept off my feet and carried with the current. I consider a movie that makes me cry or even just prompts the tiniest bit of eye-wateriness to be inherently fantastic - and alas, it's very hard to pay attention when others are talking over the top.
On everything else:
Currently suffering some kind of evil post-CP disease of urg. And have generally been feeling very up-and-down, alternating between phases of being just about able to cope with other people for the occasional evening and wanting to curl up in the dark on my own and tell all those strange creatures that demand my time for social interaction to go away. It's no-where near as bad as it gets in late Autumn/early Spring, but it's still bad enough that I'm actively avoiding other people in a non-LRP context, and desperately *ADORING*, nay *WORSHIPPING* those fleeting few hours I get to myself some evenings.
Being jolly and outgoing and social is a mask that wears rather thin at times - but is a great deal easier to hold in place when there's an excuse (I'm at an event) than when not.
I regularly go out on late-night/early morning walks in and around the fields surrounding York, grumbling at nothing in particular and fancying myself as a courageous, imaginitive, independent and eloquent anti-hero, ranting at imaginary straw-man argument constructs in an elaborate fantasy where I actually have a spine and will occasionally stand up for myself when people challenge my (few) opinions. I suppose it's probably better than fantasising about somehow acquiring an "Iron-Man" style invulnerable exoskeletal suit and then beating the shit out of people who disproportionately upset me at school, I guess.
Er, so. Where were we? Ah yes! Getting disproportionately upset about inconsequential things!
I'm guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. Just read Rule 7's Maelstrom board, or any internet forum/community for that matter. Hell, illithidbix and I have a cloud hanging over our heads (and have done for quite some time) when it comes to Maelstrom for just this reason. Since year two, I've avoided 'Maelstrom discussion' with most of the Yorkites, and have gradually over time switched to avoiding 'Maelstrom discussion' in general with just about anyone. It seems impossible to have a discussion without somehow allowing OOC bad feeling to spill over somewhere. Is this an inherent limitation of the style of the game? Is is an inherent limitation of the players (nobody is a flawless emotionless PvP machine with no personal investment in the game?). Could just be a case of frothing with the wrong people, I guess (I've had plenty of wonderful 'isn't it awesome' discussions with other 'strommers, but only when we're singing from the same hymn-sheet and already see eye-to-eye.)
Rather than throwing our toys out of the pram and making other people miserable by focussing on what we don't like, I suppose it's our duty to be positive, shut up and get on with it. Respect other people's decisions, whether they be an IC choice in-game or an OC choice out-of-game, don't try and make them feel bad for making them, and absolutely not allow things to ever become an OOC chore. No preciousness, no 'you're doing it wrong'.
You know, I'm feeling *so* much bettter now. This post is not well phrased and descends into being needlessly preachy. I could probably just delete this text and say "I was feeling a little low and irked by a few things that have been on my mind, but now I'm not." But at the same time, no. I think I'll leave it there and just nuke a paragraph in the middle, due to this not being the place for it.
We ran an event. It was awesome. We had plenty of enthusiastic crew (sorry, monsters) and it went fantastically well - much better than I was expecting. Very glad we ended up on the 'more' side rather than 'less'.
High points would be:
The way in - Seeing all the players kitted up and ready to go, marching along in formation with Eli and Kalin shouting orders. Watching 'team scout' run off to the left, thinking 'oh god, oh god, the players are going into that UNSAFE bit!' and then seeing how sweet it looked and being able to trust people not to break themselves. Took much longer than expected, and we were already starting late - but that was a *really* good thing in the end. It allowed us to keep an interesting human NPC antagonist faction to play with for the weekend rather than briefly for one night. (Initial 'schedule' was going to be for the players to go and kill the Clarion Order on Friday night. Thank fuck that didn't happen, both for safety and 'let's not throw away one of our most interesting monster/kit options before they've even done anything?' purposes)
The Friday meal - especially when the hardliners turned up. Briefly got a chance to see how that panned out 'on the ground' with the players and was involved in the big "Alright then lads, kill em all!" ruck. What a blast. Being able to watch the scene evolve and play out in a manner that was every bit as awesome as I'd been hoping all these months - that was such a huge buzz.
The shrine mission with Avitus. Hardcore points go to Jeff.
Saturday's meal with the 'Me's and Soulflayer - Fuck yes! oxfordgirl was absolutely perfect for that role. Great atmosphere, great set-dressing. Watching players stacking up, ready to do some PvP...that was tense.
Erikan's pack/Duel with Levan. Hell yeah. Levan is FUCKING METAL!
The scene at the end of the final Golem mission. Very heartfelt (actually making me choke), such a great 'noble sacrifice' - and then the hilarious "WAIT! That bastard...he was wearing my HAT!" moment that came afterwards.
And of course, the Grand Finale. Replete with Vedanya's outro. Fuck, when Anya started crying it was infectious...
All in all, things were relatively smooth. When running an event, I think the lesson you pick up first (and most importantly) is that you can't have a set-in-stone "Plan" for everything. In fact, part of the appeal is winding it all up and seeing where it finally comes to rest. If things don't go to "Plan", it's critically important to not get stressed and instead just concentrate on making sure what *does* happen makes sense, both in terms of 'Anatomy of an OOC fun event' and 'We want to be *here* IC by the end'. Being prepared to drop things when you inevitably don't have time/space for them is important. Being prepared to add things on the spot in order to keep things moving/interesting - likewise.
So, there's a positive start. Very un whine-journal, yes?
On post-event LRP burn-out:
Post-event, I have been suffering fairly major burn-out over the last few weeks. Didn't expect to, but it's an inevitable side-effect. I was expecting to suffer any burn-out *before* the event, all told.
In fact, until CP I was suffering some serious LRP burn-out in general. Mainly because I was looking at next year and at the systems I definitely absolutely unequivocably wanted to do, and wondering if Maelstrom and CP were still on the top of that list. The prospect of Maelstrom falling off the top slot didn't seem right, somehow, when looking back at the frothtastic glee with which I used to view the system. Has the magic truly begun to fade? I think I'm gradually coming to realise that I genuinely *do not enjoy a PvP focus* in LRP (and am extremely glad that EOS has settled down and drifted away from that particular direction over the last couple of events). A care-bear is me, I'm afraid.
On movies:
Have been watching a lot of movies recently, and being rather selective with the choice of crowd - was perhaps a little too snappy with people when "having a small group of others round to watch Armageddon" turned into a full-on talking-over-the-movie MST session. Which is great, if you don't actually want to watch said movie - but the purpose, in my mind, of choosing to watch Armageddon was to self-indulgently pretend that the big overblown melodramatic self-sacrifice finale (that normally brings a tear to my eye) was in any way similar to a self-sacrifice scene that occurred at the Shattered Legacies event (which also brought a tear to the eye). I like getting caught up in a movie. I like being taken along for the ride, being swept off my feet and carried with the current. I consider a movie that makes me cry or even just prompts the tiniest bit of eye-wateriness to be inherently fantastic - and alas, it's very hard to pay attention when others are talking over the top.
On everything else:
Currently suffering some kind of evil post-CP disease of urg. And have generally been feeling very up-and-down, alternating between phases of being just about able to cope with other people for the occasional evening and wanting to curl up in the dark on my own and tell all those strange creatures that demand my time for social interaction to go away. It's no-where near as bad as it gets in late Autumn/early Spring, but it's still bad enough that I'm actively avoiding other people in a non-LRP context, and desperately *ADORING*, nay *WORSHIPPING* those fleeting few hours I get to myself some evenings.
Being jolly and outgoing and social is a mask that wears rather thin at times - but is a great deal easier to hold in place when there's an excuse (I'm at an event) than when not.
I regularly go out on late-night/early morning walks in and around the fields surrounding York, grumbling at nothing in particular and fancying myself as a courageous, imaginitive, independent and eloquent anti-hero, ranting at imaginary straw-man argument constructs in an elaborate fantasy where I actually have a spine and will occasionally stand up for myself when people challenge my (few) opinions. I suppose it's probably better than fantasising about somehow acquiring an "Iron-Man" style invulnerable exoskeletal suit and then beating the shit out of people who disproportionately upset me at school, I guess.
Er, so. Where were we? Ah yes! Getting disproportionately upset about inconsequential things!
I'm guilty of it. We're all guilty of it. Just read Rule 7's Maelstrom board, or any internet forum/community for that matter. Hell, illithidbix and I have a cloud hanging over our heads (and have done for quite some time) when it comes to Maelstrom for just this reason. Since year two, I've avoided 'Maelstrom discussion' with most of the Yorkites, and have gradually over time switched to avoiding 'Maelstrom discussion' in general with just about anyone. It seems impossible to have a discussion without somehow allowing OOC bad feeling to spill over somewhere. Is this an inherent limitation of the style of the game? Is is an inherent limitation of the players (nobody is a flawless emotionless PvP machine with no personal investment in the game?). Could just be a case of frothing with the wrong people, I guess (I've had plenty of wonderful 'isn't it awesome' discussions with other 'strommers, but only when we're singing from the same hymn-sheet and already see eye-to-eye.)
Rather than throwing our toys out of the pram and making other people miserable by focussing on what we don't like, I suppose it's our duty to be positive, shut up and get on with it. Respect other people's decisions, whether they be an IC choice in-game or an OC choice out-of-game, don't try and make them feel bad for making them, and absolutely not allow things to ever become an OOC chore. No preciousness, no 'you're doing it wrong'.
You know, I'm feeling *so* much bettter now. This post is not well phrased and descends into being needlessly preachy. I could probably just delete this text and say "I was feeling a little low and irked by a few things that have been on my mind, but now I'm not." But at the same time, no. I think I'll leave it there and just nuke a paragraph in the middle, due to this not being the place for it.