(no subject)
I am a little fucked up right now. I have had an interesting week. I am in Maine at my parents house and it is wonderful up here. It is the most relaxing place in the world. They live is this cute little 3 bedroom house with a million animals and it is very warm and inviting with all the fireplaces. They put on an addition...a big room with 4 sets of french doors...also making it a lot easier to get to the hot tub. It has snowed and rained a lot here...I like the snow and we (my two cousins and my sister) have spent a good ammount of time in the hot tub. We were in two nights ago, drunk as hell, having a blast at 2am and we heard one lonely howl. They have cyotes and wolves up here. The one lonely howl turned into about 20 howels from what sounded like a huge circle around the house... we were out of that tub and in the house locking the doors in about 2 seconds flat. My cousin and I are sitting on the couches wraped in our down comforters watching Batman Returns and like yesterday...we may not even get up until 4 or 5:00pm. I have napped almost every day and I am not looking forward to going back to the rush that is my usual every-day life in NYC. We have also spent the whole vacation drinking...like literally...all the fucking time. So, I have spent the whole vacation stoned and drunk.
Last night was bowling. Seriously I went with Biyana and the crew like a month ago but before that I had not been in like at least 10 years. It was fantastic! There were 8 of us and we had tons of drinks and eventually had to put the bumpers up because we couldn't throw straight. Then the girls all got dressed in the bathroom and went to lady's night at some place called Pavillion which was fun though I am not all about the hip-hop shit...but I managed anyhow. Turns out I know how to shake my ass to that kind of music too. Only thing I don't like is that guys in that type of scene tend to think it is ok to like rub up on girls they don't even know though I found the people here in Maine to be less asshole-eske.
It has been a little strange emotionally, to be without Raven on this holiday, since he made the trip with me last year. Especially since last year was the first year we had Christmas in this house. I was still having a really hard time during the begining of this trip...crying here and there but I am getting over it which is nice. As the trip continues on I am less and less emotional about it and am overall feeling very calm and content. I'm not nearly as resentful and hurt as I was.
I am mad though. He did not drop off this weeks $100 payment. This guy owes me so much fucking money. I called his work 2 times last night and he "wasn't there", which is such bullshit. I don't want to be calling there anymore then he wants me to be calling him. I actually hate having to talk to him at all and would rather judst not do it. I just want my fucking money and if he just dropped it off on Tuesdays, like he said he would, I wouldn't have to call, I wouldn't have to track him down...we could just go about our lives. God, why does he have to make it so fucking hard?! The next step is dropping by his work...and I SOOOOOO DONT want to do that.
Fucking idiot...or maybe this is a way to continue to hold on to me in some capacity. He knows I'll call if he doesn't drop money off and maybe thats what he wants. But I doubt he wants to make me more mad at him. I just wish he would do what he says he will..drop off my money once a week and lets be done with it and eachother already!
Last night was bowling. Seriously I went with Biyana and the crew like a month ago but before that I had not been in like at least 10 years. It was fantastic! There were 8 of us and we had tons of drinks and eventually had to put the bumpers up because we couldn't throw straight. Then the girls all got dressed in the bathroom and went to lady's night at some place called Pavillion which was fun though I am not all about the hip-hop shit...but I managed anyhow. Turns out I know how to shake my ass to that kind of music too. Only thing I don't like is that guys in that type of scene tend to think it is ok to like rub up on girls they don't even know though I found the people here in Maine to be less asshole-eske.
It has been a little strange emotionally, to be without Raven on this holiday, since he made the trip with me last year. Especially since last year was the first year we had Christmas in this house. I was still having a really hard time during the begining of this trip...crying here and there but I am getting over it which is nice. As the trip continues on I am less and less emotional about it and am overall feeling very calm and content. I'm not nearly as resentful and hurt as I was.
I am mad though. He did not drop off this weeks $100 payment. This guy owes me so much fucking money. I called his work 2 times last night and he "wasn't there", which is such bullshit. I don't want to be calling there anymore then he wants me to be calling him. I actually hate having to talk to him at all and would rather judst not do it. I just want my fucking money and if he just dropped it off on Tuesdays, like he said he would, I wouldn't have to call, I wouldn't have to track him down...we could just go about our lives. God, why does he have to make it so fucking hard?! The next step is dropping by his work...and I SOOOOOO DONT want to do that.
Fucking idiot...or maybe this is a way to continue to hold on to me in some capacity. He knows I'll call if he doesn't drop money off and maybe thats what he wants. But I doubt he wants to make me more mad at him. I just wish he would do what he says he will..drop off my money once a week and lets be done with it and eachother already!