Can you say Fucking pissed off?
Yeah, so I am single. Turns out Freddy could never handle me, and this I had said b4, but he insisted for over a year that he could. I am not hard to be with, but he is way too much of a child to be in a relationship with me. And he thinks I need to "grow up and get a life", why cause I bothered to try and be with him? He spent the past year+ trying to distance himself from me, and doing things to hurt me and that is not love. So I am sorry my year was wasted on a child that couldn't handle being nice to me, that was so self abosrbed in his own little pathetic world that he wanted to own me (down to telling me what he wants me to wear and what I was "not allowed to" when he wasn't arround) instead of being with me. I should have never believed a word out of his mouth because it is and probably will always be fucking bullshit. And, above all I HATE him for ever claiming to love me because when it boils right down too it, no matter how much someone hates themselves and their lives or no matter how little self esteem they have they do not lie, talk about cheating to everyone, publically and privately bash, are verbally abusive and try to hook up with a million other people while with the person "they love". And I quote "I would but you know she would find out"...didn't know Vee gave me that one did u? They also do not throw how they "like other people" in their "loved ones" faces just because they are mad especially if those other people are people they then go back to claiming are "just their friends". Hahaha and he wondered why I was so distrustful and angry all the time...geee I fucking wonder.
Leave me the fuck alone, u woke up Kathy last night and she was really pissed and I was not in any capacity able to talk.
U have fucked with my life enough go fuck with someone elses and stay the fuck away from me because I hate u. And don't even bother to go the places u know I frequent because I was the one keeping everyone at bay...did u know that too freddy? Hahaa how stupid of me to try and protect u.
Just do this Freddy, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE cause u have done enough and I am hurt and angry enough for more then one person. I have much rage and I refuse to loose controll of it so stay away. You have severly damaged my selfesteem to the point where I don't even look people in the face when they talk to me anymore, u have made me feel like I am less then dirt, everyone was always more important...everyone, u have called me horrible names so many times I can't even count, u have hooked up with all the people I considered best friends, you have wanted to cheat on me, u have lied to me about all the girls u hooked up with and you have done just about every type of emotional bashing someone could inflict on someone else.
And u wonder why no one stays in your life? Maybe because all the good ones u abuse (and yes I mean ABUSE) till they leave u. I am surprised I lasted this long.
The friends that u claim to be so perfect have said to me "I just smile and nod" when speaking about u, I at least cared enough to tell u how I felt about u doing so much damage to yourself. My god, after all the 3am calls about dieing and all that shit and how your heart was doing fucked up shit how could u expect me not to.
I have been treated so horribly for so long I don't even remember what it feels like to have a relationship with someone who is nice to me. I am not a piece of shit and I never should have allowed myself to be subjected to someone for so long that wanted to treat me like I was. I didn't deserve to be shit on because of all the past wrongs that had gone on in your life because I didn't do ANY them. And I am sorry u couldn't be a man and deal with the consequences of the nasty shit u did...u just did it and then wanted me to drop a years+ worth of it after a few good times. Come on now, do you ever work to fix anything u have fucked up? Or do you just drop it cause u r tiard of it...
...fucking spoiled
So go hang out with all the little slutty 13yo girls/children (who all thought I was cool cause I was old lol how lame...just shows the maturity there) u and your friends like to hang out with and fuck because u r obviously on a closer level emotionally with them then me. I hope u r finally really happy freddy because u will never have a good relationship ever in your life. No matter how weak and quiet and submissive a girl u may find,no matter how much of your lies and abusive words and hurt she'll take, u will never be happy with her and u will treat u like shit because u r unhappy...sound like anyone u know, meybe someone u see all the time? So realize, u r just like him because u refuse to change, u refuse to try to make yourself happier, u refuse to be so closed to the real world, and u refused love.
Anyway, this will be public because Freddy will read it and it is the only way I can get through to him since I called him requesting an e-mail addy not blocked because I would prefer to be less open about all this and he refused me. I told him I would put it here if he did.
So, Freddy, u get a life cause u have nothing. U have no job, no education, no hobbies (and obsessing a band is not a hobby), no will to make anything better, and now no one to love u...u just want to exist and be what u r now apparently for the rest of your life since u do nothing to better yourself.
Heed my warning, u will have your fathers job if u continue on this path, and to think I had so much hope in u.
Everything I have said in this entry I can prove did happen and freddy does know I know and have proof of all of it, so I would really like to see him try to respond to this in a way to make me look bad lol. Let me interject here that I did lie to him once, about something that in no way concerned him, actually he had absolutely no right to ask...and I came clean of it on my own free accord. And, technically it isn't something he even can be mad about cause it was his choice we weren't together seeing as how he had brought it upon himself weeks earlier to inform everyone in line at DT (at the top of his lungs) just exactly how worthless he thought I was (because supposidely someone I was standing near was giving him a nasty look...not that I knew the person he was speaking of either) and I hadn't spoken to him since.
This whole thing is going to make him beyond mad, but O don't really care, cause it is true and he needs to hear it..cause maybe then he will get it some day when he grows up.
Leave me the fuck alone, u woke up Kathy last night and she was really pissed and I was not in any capacity able to talk.
U have fucked with my life enough go fuck with someone elses and stay the fuck away from me because I hate u. And don't even bother to go the places u know I frequent because I was the one keeping everyone at bay...did u know that too freddy? Hahaa how stupid of me to try and protect u.
Just do this Freddy, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE cause u have done enough and I am hurt and angry enough for more then one person. I have much rage and I refuse to loose controll of it so stay away. You have severly damaged my selfesteem to the point where I don't even look people in the face when they talk to me anymore, u have made me feel like I am less then dirt, everyone was always more important...everyone, u have called me horrible names so many times I can't even count, u have hooked up with all the people I considered best friends, you have wanted to cheat on me, u have lied to me about all the girls u hooked up with and you have done just about every type of emotional bashing someone could inflict on someone else.
And u wonder why no one stays in your life? Maybe because all the good ones u abuse (and yes I mean ABUSE) till they leave u. I am surprised I lasted this long.
The friends that u claim to be so perfect have said to me "I just smile and nod" when speaking about u, I at least cared enough to tell u how I felt about u doing so much damage to yourself. My god, after all the 3am calls about dieing and all that shit and how your heart was doing fucked up shit how could u expect me not to.
I have been treated so horribly for so long I don't even remember what it feels like to have a relationship with someone who is nice to me. I am not a piece of shit and I never should have allowed myself to be subjected to someone for so long that wanted to treat me like I was. I didn't deserve to be shit on because of all the past wrongs that had gone on in your life because I didn't do ANY them. And I am sorry u couldn't be a man and deal with the consequences of the nasty shit u did...u just did it and then wanted me to drop a years+ worth of it after a few good times. Come on now, do you ever work to fix anything u have fucked up? Or do you just drop it cause u r tiard of it...
...fucking spoiled
So go hang out with all the little slutty 13yo girls/children (who all thought I was cool cause I was old lol how lame...just shows the maturity there) u and your friends like to hang out with and fuck because u r obviously on a closer level emotionally with them then me. I hope u r finally really happy freddy because u will never have a good relationship ever in your life. No matter how weak and quiet and submissive a girl u may find,no matter how much of your lies and abusive words and hurt she'll take, u will never be happy with her and u will treat u like shit because u r unhappy...sound like anyone u know, meybe someone u see all the time? So realize, u r just like him because u refuse to change, u refuse to try to make yourself happier, u refuse to be so closed to the real world, and u refused love.
Anyway, this will be public because Freddy will read it and it is the only way I can get through to him since I called him requesting an e-mail addy not blocked because I would prefer to be less open about all this and he refused me. I told him I would put it here if he did.
So, Freddy, u get a life cause u have nothing. U have no job, no education, no hobbies (and obsessing a band is not a hobby), no will to make anything better, and now no one to love u...u just want to exist and be what u r now apparently for the rest of your life since u do nothing to better yourself.
Heed my warning, u will have your fathers job if u continue on this path, and to think I had so much hope in u.
Everything I have said in this entry I can prove did happen and freddy does know I know and have proof of all of it, so I would really like to see him try to respond to this in a way to make me look bad lol. Let me interject here that I did lie to him once, about something that in no way concerned him, actually he had absolutely no right to ask...and I came clean of it on my own free accord. And, technically it isn't something he even can be mad about cause it was his choice we weren't together seeing as how he had brought it upon himself weeks earlier to inform everyone in line at DT (at the top of his lungs) just exactly how worthless he thought I was (because supposidely someone I was standing near was giving him a nasty look...not that I knew the person he was speaking of either) and I hadn't spoken to him since.
This whole thing is going to make him beyond mad, but O don't really care, cause it is true and he needs to hear it..cause maybe then he will get it some day when he grows up.