Phone call
This morning Dawn got me up and out early today, well early for a day I don't have to work. I was out of bed by 9 and moving around. I got a call about a permanent job which is good, however it won't start until next month so I'm gonna be just struggling through until then.
I went to breakfast with Dawn. I can tell that things are starting to get better because not all of the conversation that we had revolved around the break up. It doesn't mean that I'm not hurting as much, I'm just getting sick of talking about it. I know I'll hurt for a long time over it and for once I'm taking it to a rather bitter place in me which I'm not used to having. This one really hurts.
We went to a fantastic breakfast at a place called Early Edition and I had a yummy monte cristo sandwhich - JOANNA!!! Monte Cristo!!!! She loves those. :) It was fantastic but again - my stomach is the size of a walnut still and I ate half of the sandwhich and the small salad that came with it. I also had apple juice and 3 cups of coffee. That'll haunt me later.
Then we went to the grocery store. I got lots of things, which is good cause there is this big snow and ice storm that is threatening the midwest... maybe you heard a little bit about it. I got pasta and spagetti sauce. I don't have the cash for all the stuff to make it the good sauce, so I'll be slumming it by just making what's in the jar and no trimmings. I got tomato soup and stuff to make grilled cheese - YUM, and other things too. I got cereal and they had a sale on Mac and Cheese - 10 boxes for $5.00... I now have 10 boxes of Mac and Cheese. Dawn was with me and we made a joke about having a Kraft Dinner Party and inviting everyone from the Barenaked Bash to come out for it. :) hehe...
I also sent out the final paperwork I needed to send to get the proceeds from my condo which is good cause I'm pretty broke.
As I was walking to the front door with lots of things in my hands my pocket starts Mooing (which is my phone ring - Just a little bit of Wisconsin from my phone). I open the door, drop my stuff and see it's my mom. She has the best timing in the world. We talked a bit, she's very concerned that I have no job right now but I was telling her about the phone call I got earlier. Then I had to go around and around with her about looking in the paper, online, passing out resume's and all that fun stuff. Yes mom, I did all those things. Yes mom I sent out resume's. Yes mom.. yes mom... come on stop talking now.
However it doesn't ever fail... she gets me crying at least once a phone call. This time it wasn't the maliciousness of her comments that did it cause she has some zingers. This one was her being concerned about the break up and how I was doing. She said that the other night she couldn't sleep and she "did her rosary for me 5 times throughout the night" cause she could hear me laying in bed crying. The tough part was trying to convince her that I was ok and I wasn't sitting up at night crying over this, because I am.
The tough part is knowing that I'm alone in my anguish as Toby's main concern is that his friends won't like him anymore now that we aren't together. Well hello!!! You allowed me to move to a new town under the false pretenses of love and trust only to leave me after a month, and on Valentine's Day just to add another dagger into my heart. The respectable thing would have been fessing up to your lack of feelings before I moved here to actually give me the option of not moving, and all your friends know it. Who's the victim in this one Toby? Not you. No one who's talked to me about it says "Poor Toby" because you have place you can afford, you have your bills covered, and you have the one person you love over everyone else in the world right there with you, yourself. Oh, and don't forget your TV.
See, I'm not used to this bitterness. And yes, the thought of breaking up with him had crossed my mind cause it wasn't working, but I at least wanted to talk to him and see if there was anything we could do to make it work before it came to that - cause I did move here for him...
I'm sorry, I promise to not have bitter, Toby filled posts soon. I just need to get over this.
---
Oh, I forgot a big part. Since I moved here and I've got basicly nothing left in my bank accounts Mark and Dawn have been letting me live here almost free for right now plus they seem to pay for everything I come across that I need. I have no money to give them to thank them for this and it kills me inside. I talked about it with my mom and she's sending me money to give to them. It's the first time in a long time that I asked her for money instead of her forcing it at me or hiding it somewhere in the house for me to find later just to get me to take it. I just need to give them something and I'm glad I'll be able to do so soon.
I went to breakfast with Dawn. I can tell that things are starting to get better because not all of the conversation that we had revolved around the break up. It doesn't mean that I'm not hurting as much, I'm just getting sick of talking about it. I know I'll hurt for a long time over it and for once I'm taking it to a rather bitter place in me which I'm not used to having. This one really hurts.
We went to a fantastic breakfast at a place called Early Edition and I had a yummy monte cristo sandwhich - JOANNA!!! Monte Cristo!!!! She loves those. :) It was fantastic but again - my stomach is the size of a walnut still and I ate half of the sandwhich and the small salad that came with it. I also had apple juice and 3 cups of coffee. That'll haunt me later.
Then we went to the grocery store. I got lots of things, which is good cause there is this big snow and ice storm that is threatening the midwest... maybe you heard a little bit about it. I got pasta and spagetti sauce. I don't have the cash for all the stuff to make it the good sauce, so I'll be slumming it by just making what's in the jar and no trimmings. I got tomato soup and stuff to make grilled cheese - YUM, and other things too. I got cereal and they had a sale on Mac and Cheese - 10 boxes for $5.00... I now have 10 boxes of Mac and Cheese. Dawn was with me and we made a joke about having a Kraft Dinner Party and inviting everyone from the Barenaked Bash to come out for it. :) hehe...
I also sent out the final paperwork I needed to send to get the proceeds from my condo which is good cause I'm pretty broke.
As I was walking to the front door with lots of things in my hands my pocket starts Mooing (which is my phone ring - Just a little bit of Wisconsin from my phone). I open the door, drop my stuff and see it's my mom. She has the best timing in the world. We talked a bit, she's very concerned that I have no job right now but I was telling her about the phone call I got earlier. Then I had to go around and around with her about looking in the paper, online, passing out resume's and all that fun stuff. Yes mom, I did all those things. Yes mom I sent out resume's. Yes mom.. yes mom... come on stop talking now.
However it doesn't ever fail... she gets me crying at least once a phone call. This time it wasn't the maliciousness of her comments that did it cause she has some zingers. This one was her being concerned about the break up and how I was doing. She said that the other night she couldn't sleep and she "did her rosary for me 5 times throughout the night" cause she could hear me laying in bed crying. The tough part was trying to convince her that I was ok and I wasn't sitting up at night crying over this, because I am.
The tough part is knowing that I'm alone in my anguish as Toby's main concern is that his friends won't like him anymore now that we aren't together. Well hello!!! You allowed me to move to a new town under the false pretenses of love and trust only to leave me after a month, and on Valentine's Day just to add another dagger into my heart. The respectable thing would have been fessing up to your lack of feelings before I moved here to actually give me the option of not moving, and all your friends know it. Who's the victim in this one Toby? Not you. No one who's talked to me about it says "Poor Toby" because you have place you can afford, you have your bills covered, and you have the one person you love over everyone else in the world right there with you, yourself. Oh, and don't forget your TV.
See, I'm not used to this bitterness. And yes, the thought of breaking up with him had crossed my mind cause it wasn't working, but I at least wanted to talk to him and see if there was anything we could do to make it work before it came to that - cause I did move here for him...
I'm sorry, I promise to not have bitter, Toby filled posts soon. I just need to get over this.
---
Oh, I forgot a big part. Since I moved here and I've got basicly nothing left in my bank accounts Mark and Dawn have been letting me live here almost free for right now plus they seem to pay for everything I come across that I need. I have no money to give them to thank them for this and it kills me inside. I talked about it with my mom and she's sending me money to give to them. It's the first time in a long time that I asked her for money instead of her forcing it at me or hiding it somewhere in the house for me to find later just to get me to take it. I just need to give them something and I'm glad I'll be able to do so soon.