Transmutation Interlude 14 - Ed's Guide to Inaba
[The camera comes on and you can't see Edward but in fact an ordinary bus stop sign. He turns his phone around so it's pointing down the road.]
Today everyone, we're going to tour Inaba. It seems huge compared to Risembool, but really is it any better? Down this road in this direction is the school where the students go all day. I of course can't go there since I'm still unfamiliar with the whole reading and writing thing. I'm not sure I could even fake it.
[The camera swings around again and you catch the top of Ed's head in the shot.]
In that direction is some big department store. [He's sounding out department as though it's an odd concept.] I don't know what the fuck that really is. A store I guess. I don't know what's so great about it.
[The camera pans back down to the other side of the vacant looking road.]
Down that way is the lake or river or whatever. Not supposed to swim there, so I don't know what it's even there for. Aside from that there are some trees and whatever. But here!
[He points the camera ahead of him and starts walking up the hill.] Is the town part. There's the gas station. As you can see people have cars that aren't shaped like boxes on wheels.
[The camera work is shaky, shoddy at best and he points it at the bookstore]
This is the book store. I bet you think I would love this place. It is the only book store I have ever encountered that actually has no interesting books whatsoever. It is the biggest waste of time ever. Don't shop there. Next is the weapon shop which is really pretty cool because they have some neat things, and I got some great ideas for my own weaponry, but it always has the same stuff so...it lost it's appeal.
[He keeps walking, pointing it at a stand.] There's the steak place. I like that.
[More walking and shaking camera. There's a crash and the screen goes dark a minute.]
Oh shit! [The sound of scrambling and picking up the phone he dropped happens and you see Ed's face as he blows some dust off the lens. He blushes a bit and turns the camera on Aiya's.] There's the beef bowl place. I'm not allowed to get a bunch of beef bowls anymore. One per customer they said. Pfft.
[He keeps jogging up the hill a little.] Here's the shrine where Naoto prays. There's a fox there, it's pretty cool. Here's a textile store. That's where Kanji's mom works and they live. It's only cool cause Kanji's there, I don't need any textiles or anything...
[He pans around.] And there's a bunch of buildings. So! I ask you, is this really better than Risembool? Sure there are people and buildings but still fuck all to do.
[Ed faces the camera and tilts his head.] In case you missed the subtext, I'm bored.
Today everyone, we're going to tour Inaba. It seems huge compared to Risembool, but really is it any better? Down this road in this direction is the school where the students go all day. I of course can't go there since I'm still unfamiliar with the whole reading and writing thing. I'm not sure I could even fake it.
[The camera swings around again and you catch the top of Ed's head in the shot.]
In that direction is some big department store. [He's sounding out department as though it's an odd concept.] I don't know what the fuck that really is. A store I guess. I don't know what's so great about it.
[The camera pans back down to the other side of the vacant looking road.]
Down that way is the lake or river or whatever. Not supposed to swim there, so I don't know what it's even there for. Aside from that there are some trees and whatever. But here!
[He points the camera ahead of him and starts walking up the hill.] Is the town part. There's the gas station. As you can see people have cars that aren't shaped like boxes on wheels.
[The camera work is shaky, shoddy at best and he points it at the bookstore]
This is the book store. I bet you think I would love this place. It is the only book store I have ever encountered that actually has no interesting books whatsoever. It is the biggest waste of time ever. Don't shop there. Next is the weapon shop which is really pretty cool because they have some neat things, and I got some great ideas for my own weaponry, but it always has the same stuff so...it lost it's appeal.
[He keeps walking, pointing it at a stand.] There's the steak place. I like that.
[More walking and shaking camera. There's a crash and the screen goes dark a minute.]
Oh shit! [The sound of scrambling and picking up the phone he dropped happens and you see Ed's face as he blows some dust off the lens. He blushes a bit and turns the camera on Aiya's.] There's the beef bowl place. I'm not allowed to get a bunch of beef bowls anymore. One per customer they said. Pfft.
[He keeps jogging up the hill a little.] Here's the shrine where Naoto prays. There's a fox there, it's pretty cool. Here's a textile store. That's where Kanji's mom works and they live. It's only cool cause Kanji's there, I don't need any textiles or anything...
[He pans around.] And there's a bunch of buildings. So! I ask you, is this really better than Risembool? Sure there are people and buildings but still fuck all to do.
[Ed faces the camera and tilts his head.] In case you missed the subtext, I'm bored.