2005 Archives
I remember staying at the start of the year, it’s a year that isn’t going to be easy, it could have a few challenges, but there might be some good rewards in the end out of it. Ok, sort of broad, but it definitely was true this time around. Here’s the wrap up of my 2005. Did I mention that it’s going to be off a nightmarish uni essay length proportions?
1st half of 2005: The uprising
Take January out of the picture, which involved different friends (Roy and Giselle) who went their separate ways once their schools started and the whole ‘holiday’ period of just taking lots of pills and partying. The year really started in Feburary. Very little changed really. The main thing that happened was the creation of the group with lsd_whorette69, xanthous, futurepoison and _mells. Good times and a great group of friends, ridiculous amounts of bitching brought the group to an abrupt end, but while it was around for it’s time, it was great. At the end of the year, we’ve all found other people, so it’s all good I guess.
A significant factor in my life which was finally getting work. There was that stint with EPA, a high paying job with physical labour, if anything probably one of my weaknesses, a job I found very difficult but my mum convinced me to stop working for them when they were delaying my pay, I chose to leave for good when friends who worked for them had the same problem. The other job was doing pizza delivery, not the most glamourous or highest paying job in the world, but it was a job I liked and it was damn easy too. I started off at Pizza on Cambridge, then made the switch to my local Dominos just for more hours. Overall, getting work was probably a very important step for me this year, being able to provide for myself was definitely a step ahead. While the pay isn't high and there isn't much career potential in terms of me being there for the rest of my life, I'm happy there at the moment.
Downhill, my emotions as the abuse I had done to myself with ecstasy was definitely starting to get to an unhealthy point, in particular after Reset in April, emotions went downhill, depression started kicking in extremely badly. I remember lots of good times with lsd_whorette69 and outbreed. Friendships got pushed at various points, but I had great times with them and honestly, it isn’t until the events that would happen, I would realise how important they were to me. As for other people, the Haven days were fun and of course the other big event was moving, with that over with, it was a great new place in Doubleview and the location was great being close to the city and train station and shopping centres
July-December 2005: Reconstructed
Where the hell do I start here. This was possibly some of the most unpredictable, chaotic, strangest, interesting, amazing period of my life. Never have I felt so happy, I almost managed to go as low as I fatally did in my darkest period of my life 2 years ago. I gained some amazing things that I never ever could imagine happening to me or ever finding at the same time, those things that I presumed were the most reliable and stable things that would never fade away, would leave my life. It was truly one hell of a journey.
I think the main incident was the whole Meaghan and India incident and trust me, I’m so fucking sick and tired of this incident but it’s pretty hard to ignore since it’s probably one of the moments that have changed me and my life in an extremely dramatic way, possibly even the biggest one in my life. But anyways, I’ll just go into what happened in a quick summary rather then a stupid emotional bitch about it, even if that’s what livejournal is for!
Basically Wonderland came and with raves getting worse for me and me and Meaghan at the closest to breaking point, this could have been a diasterous experience for me, but Brisk was there and that night was the debut from some awesome stuff from Techno Kitty, everyone remembers that bag. Anyways onto the point, I was extremely optimistic about this night, although a bad night would have destroyed me, oh and Brisk was playing, possibly a highlight of the year, considering VNV Nation skipped Perth on their National tour, damn.
Anyways met India for the first time there, decided to keep raving, since I had such an awesome time that night, ok, pills were involved. Anyways, met India at the next rave, the next week. Both of us gurning of our nut, we fell for each other under ecstasy, quite easily the best feeling I had ever felt in my life when I realised we actually had a lot in common. Of course we thought it was due to the pills at first. But even after the comedown, there were still feelings between us.
The beauty and the perfection of it in the honeymoon period was wonderful, after that short period it eroded slowly over time, then conflict and I don’t mean war, I mean, absolute stupid emo bitching from both of us that obliverated any chance of friendship. I honestly don’t really feel the need to go back into what happened, since the fighting and pathetic attacking doesn’t need to be continued, not just for me, but for her and more importantly those who are friends with both of us didn’t really want to see anymore off it.
The whole ordeal with India will never be forgotten, even if right now, almost all of my feelings with India are near washed away, the experiences and lessons learnt in this will not have been forgotten. Feeling love and the joy of it in the time was wonderful but at the opposite end of the scale the heartbreak I discovered was something I dreaded but something I finally found out about. It really was the one incident which brought the phrase ‘feel emotion and lose control’ to a new level.
If gurning with India was the most amazing dream experience, 3 months later came the scariest nightmare. Acid tripping in the forest @ Earthdance and waking up in a swamp. Anyways, the whole experience was certainly awful but one amazing one to remember, having felt a whole shitload of strange feelings from intense fear to euphoric happiness, it was one amazing ride which involved many things, including finding a happy place up in space with some euphoric and beautiful angel to being enslaved in an alien abduction. Both those incidents blamed on too much Zim. Legend has it that I thought I was a frog who wanted to return back to the swamp. Thankfully tormsen and jsearle saved me from the swamp. It certainly was a very interesting alternative perspective into life.
Back to India, not only did zzaped go away from my life, but the more important one, lsd_whorette69 left my life, a half assed attempt to revive our friendship failed, mainly due to my selfishness claiming my life was decent enough and I didn’t need her back and now is more or less the same situation but reversed. With outbreed away and still away, things seemed to look tough and lonely, losing the two people I loved the most at the time was extremely hard and at times, it even looked like my friendship with outbreed could have ended too. Trust became something near impossible for me to grasp at this time.
In the end, I met Alice, very early on a relationship which didn’t last due to having very much in common, since she was quite depressive and miserable at first, while I was ridiculously hyper and happy-go-lucky, but who's the miserable one now, :P. After being dumped by her a few weeks later, Earthdance (my acid trip) came, our friendship started to take off as we got to know each other better and got into each others interests, the main one from me being that acid trip and as for knightmerz, can you say kandi whore?! Funnily enough she actually has more in common with me then zzaped in livejournal interests, it’s over 45 btw!
Anyways, knightmerz was the person who saved me from what could have been an extremely insane and lonely end of the year, but instead I’ve had some awesome times with her and her friends and have just fallen for someone who is a great friend who looks out for me and that means a lot to me.
But I wasn’t completely alone, even throughout my problems I did have many other friends, in particular, cathy_b_ and melancholyhart were great friends who were there for me when I really needed it. The latter person being probably one of my favourite new friends from 2005 with quite a few things that I felt I couldn’t relate to anyone about, but I could with her, also she’s great fun to hang out with in real life, her brother dj_infinity was another person I like hanging out with in the latter stages of the year.
As for problems, finally has social anxiety disorder diagnosed, it was certainly a big relief to realise that one as it certainly explained a lot about me with people. I’m still yet to completely discover myself, as a matter a fact, I’m feeling quite close to doing that, but am completely way off my environment, so way off that I promised myself this year that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life in Perth with the plan to move to another country sometime around 2010.
That moment I had waited for so long came, yes, no more 19 year old virgin jokes, or even worse 20 year old virgin jokes this year if it didn’t happen. It was finally a good thing to get off my back, in terms of my confidence, plus everyone stopped thinking I was gay after that, oh plus it was fun, while it lasted. :P
There’s a lot more that happened this year but I could go on forever and the further I go on, the more insignificant the events seem. In the end, as hard as it was, it was a satisfying year for me, I got work, I found love temporarily at least, well heck better then being lonely all the time, well at least I got sex too, which was probably one of the last things on my to do list. Glad to have gotten through it all, went through a variety of new things, experienced a whole bunch of new things, interesting stuff, I’m really happy about certain decisions I’ve made with my life this year and the wrong moves I’ve made, there’s no benefit in regretting them, as this year, I’ll be taking what I’ve learnt from there into 2006.
Who wants me to write more? Just kidding. Bring on 2006
1st half of 2005: The uprising
Take January out of the picture, which involved different friends (Roy and Giselle) who went their separate ways once their schools started and the whole ‘holiday’ period of just taking lots of pills and partying. The year really started in Feburary. Very little changed really. The main thing that happened was the creation of the group with lsd_whorette69, xanthous, futurepoison and _mells. Good times and a great group of friends, ridiculous amounts of bitching brought the group to an abrupt end, but while it was around for it’s time, it was great. At the end of the year, we’ve all found other people, so it’s all good I guess.
A significant factor in my life which was finally getting work. There was that stint with EPA, a high paying job with physical labour, if anything probably one of my weaknesses, a job I found very difficult but my mum convinced me to stop working for them when they were delaying my pay, I chose to leave for good when friends who worked for them had the same problem. The other job was doing pizza delivery, not the most glamourous or highest paying job in the world, but it was a job I liked and it was damn easy too. I started off at Pizza on Cambridge, then made the switch to my local Dominos just for more hours. Overall, getting work was probably a very important step for me this year, being able to provide for myself was definitely a step ahead. While the pay isn't high and there isn't much career potential in terms of me being there for the rest of my life, I'm happy there at the moment.
Downhill, my emotions as the abuse I had done to myself with ecstasy was definitely starting to get to an unhealthy point, in particular after Reset in April, emotions went downhill, depression started kicking in extremely badly. I remember lots of good times with lsd_whorette69 and outbreed. Friendships got pushed at various points, but I had great times with them and honestly, it isn’t until the events that would happen, I would realise how important they were to me. As for other people, the Haven days were fun and of course the other big event was moving, with that over with, it was a great new place in Doubleview and the location was great being close to the city and train station and shopping centres
July-December 2005: Reconstructed
Where the hell do I start here. This was possibly some of the most unpredictable, chaotic, strangest, interesting, amazing period of my life. Never have I felt so happy, I almost managed to go as low as I fatally did in my darkest period of my life 2 years ago. I gained some amazing things that I never ever could imagine happening to me or ever finding at the same time, those things that I presumed were the most reliable and stable things that would never fade away, would leave my life. It was truly one hell of a journey.
I think the main incident was the whole Meaghan and India incident and trust me, I’m so fucking sick and tired of this incident but it’s pretty hard to ignore since it’s probably one of the moments that have changed me and my life in an extremely dramatic way, possibly even the biggest one in my life. But anyways, I’ll just go into what happened in a quick summary rather then a stupid emotional bitch about it, even if that’s what livejournal is for!
Basically Wonderland came and with raves getting worse for me and me and Meaghan at the closest to breaking point, this could have been a diasterous experience for me, but Brisk was there and that night was the debut from some awesome stuff from Techno Kitty, everyone remembers that bag. Anyways onto the point, I was extremely optimistic about this night, although a bad night would have destroyed me, oh and Brisk was playing, possibly a highlight of the year, considering VNV Nation skipped Perth on their National tour, damn.
Anyways met India for the first time there, decided to keep raving, since I had such an awesome time that night, ok, pills were involved. Anyways, met India at the next rave, the next week. Both of us gurning of our nut, we fell for each other under ecstasy, quite easily the best feeling I had ever felt in my life when I realised we actually had a lot in common. Of course we thought it was due to the pills at first. But even after the comedown, there were still feelings between us.
The beauty and the perfection of it in the honeymoon period was wonderful, after that short period it eroded slowly over time, then conflict and I don’t mean war, I mean, absolute stupid emo bitching from both of us that obliverated any chance of friendship. I honestly don’t really feel the need to go back into what happened, since the fighting and pathetic attacking doesn’t need to be continued, not just for me, but for her and more importantly those who are friends with both of us didn’t really want to see anymore off it.
The whole ordeal with India will never be forgotten, even if right now, almost all of my feelings with India are near washed away, the experiences and lessons learnt in this will not have been forgotten. Feeling love and the joy of it in the time was wonderful but at the opposite end of the scale the heartbreak I discovered was something I dreaded but something I finally found out about. It really was the one incident which brought the phrase ‘feel emotion and lose control’ to a new level.
If gurning with India was the most amazing dream experience, 3 months later came the scariest nightmare. Acid tripping in the forest @ Earthdance and waking up in a swamp. Anyways, the whole experience was certainly awful but one amazing one to remember, having felt a whole shitload of strange feelings from intense fear to euphoric happiness, it was one amazing ride which involved many things, including finding a happy place up in space with some euphoric and beautiful angel to being enslaved in an alien abduction. Both those incidents blamed on too much Zim. Legend has it that I thought I was a frog who wanted to return back to the swamp. Thankfully tormsen and jsearle saved me from the swamp. It certainly was a very interesting alternative perspective into life.
Back to India, not only did zzaped go away from my life, but the more important one, lsd_whorette69 left my life, a half assed attempt to revive our friendship failed, mainly due to my selfishness claiming my life was decent enough and I didn’t need her back and now is more or less the same situation but reversed. With outbreed away and still away, things seemed to look tough and lonely, losing the two people I loved the most at the time was extremely hard and at times, it even looked like my friendship with outbreed could have ended too. Trust became something near impossible for me to grasp at this time.
In the end, I met Alice, very early on a relationship which didn’t last due to having very much in common, since she was quite depressive and miserable at first, while I was ridiculously hyper and happy-go-lucky, but who's the miserable one now, :P. After being dumped by her a few weeks later, Earthdance (my acid trip) came, our friendship started to take off as we got to know each other better and got into each others interests, the main one from me being that acid trip and as for knightmerz, can you say kandi whore?! Funnily enough she actually has more in common with me then zzaped in livejournal interests, it’s over 45 btw!
Anyways, knightmerz was the person who saved me from what could have been an extremely insane and lonely end of the year, but instead I’ve had some awesome times with her and her friends and have just fallen for someone who is a great friend who looks out for me and that means a lot to me.
But I wasn’t completely alone, even throughout my problems I did have many other friends, in particular, cathy_b_ and melancholyhart were great friends who were there for me when I really needed it. The latter person being probably one of my favourite new friends from 2005 with quite a few things that I felt I couldn’t relate to anyone about, but I could with her, also she’s great fun to hang out with in real life, her brother dj_infinity was another person I like hanging out with in the latter stages of the year.
As for problems, finally has social anxiety disorder diagnosed, it was certainly a big relief to realise that one as it certainly explained a lot about me with people. I’m still yet to completely discover myself, as a matter a fact, I’m feeling quite close to doing that, but am completely way off my environment, so way off that I promised myself this year that I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life in Perth with the plan to move to another country sometime around 2010.
That moment I had waited for so long came, yes, no more 19 year old virgin jokes, or even worse 20 year old virgin jokes this year if it didn’t happen. It was finally a good thing to get off my back, in terms of my confidence, plus everyone stopped thinking I was gay after that, oh plus it was fun, while it lasted. :P
There’s a lot more that happened this year but I could go on forever and the further I go on, the more insignificant the events seem. In the end, as hard as it was, it was a satisfying year for me, I got work, I found love temporarily at least, well heck better then being lonely all the time, well at least I got sex too, which was probably one of the last things on my to do list. Glad to have gotten through it all, went through a variety of new things, experienced a whole bunch of new things, interesting stuff, I’m really happy about certain decisions I’ve made with my life this year and the wrong moves I’ve made, there’s no benefit in regretting them, as this year, I’ll be taking what I’ve learnt from there into 2006.
Who wants me to write more? Just kidding. Bring on 2006