Emo kid time
This is a pretty emo post coming up ahead which is something I haven't done in a while, however this has been on my mind for quite sometime and a combination of a bad hangover and finishing off the Death Note movie. Amanda recently celebrated her 6 month anniversary with her current boyfriend, I haven't found anyone since then, heck, not even a date, spark or interest since then, which to be honest has been heavily frustrating I must admit.
It hasn't helped that the tables have turned from being with Amanda where people would always look at us as this mega adorable couple together, now I'm on the other side and I'm not talking about Amanda and her new boyfriend this is in general, where I've looked at certain couples and looking up to them at awe which isn't too bad but obviously it's definitely making me somewhat jealous though and this isn't one of those things you just get used too, it's quite the opposite as it gets harder to deal with over time.
The destructive final weeks and messy break up aside, having Amanda was utterly dreamy, it was simply amazing to have a girl like her just to have that someone by my side and feeling loved, she was unlike any other girl and the time spent with her and the feelings I had for her and what she had for me was what gave me a lot of new hope for life. I don't want people to get the wrong idea here that I still have lots of feelings for her, we had good reasons for our break up and even if I had the chance I doubt I would go back out with her in the future.
I should state that I am doing my best to be patient, I'm trying my best not to force it and rush something since this is far from my area, it's a pretty major thing for me to even make out with someone while drunk, let alone get myself into a decent relationship. I think there has been a lot of frustration on my part, while I can't say that every person I meet can be a potential cantidate to get into a relationship with, I can barely scintilate that spark required to get some sort of connection with anyone post-Amanda and if anything I've certainly been opening up and meeting a lot of new people ever since my break up with her.
Going on and on probably won't help and I'm boring anyone to death who actually bothered to read it, as I said my life has generally been busy enough to distract me from this and I have awesome friends like Josh and Wynona to make me feel loved but yes, I do miss that other kind of love despite all the pain involved in untangling the last mess I really want to see someone inject a wonderful new aura into my life.
I await for this day soon..............
ps. Ghost In The Circuit has got to be one of the most prettiest songs I've heard ever. ^^
It hasn't helped that the tables have turned from being with Amanda where people would always look at us as this mega adorable couple together, now I'm on the other side and I'm not talking about Amanda and her new boyfriend this is in general, where I've looked at certain couples and looking up to them at awe which isn't too bad but obviously it's definitely making me somewhat jealous though and this isn't one of those things you just get used too, it's quite the opposite as it gets harder to deal with over time.
The destructive final weeks and messy break up aside, having Amanda was utterly dreamy, it was simply amazing to have a girl like her just to have that someone by my side and feeling loved, she was unlike any other girl and the time spent with her and the feelings I had for her and what she had for me was what gave me a lot of new hope for life. I don't want people to get the wrong idea here that I still have lots of feelings for her, we had good reasons for our break up and even if I had the chance I doubt I would go back out with her in the future.
I should state that I am doing my best to be patient, I'm trying my best not to force it and rush something since this is far from my area, it's a pretty major thing for me to even make out with someone while drunk, let alone get myself into a decent relationship. I think there has been a lot of frustration on my part, while I can't say that every person I meet can be a potential cantidate to get into a relationship with, I can barely scintilate that spark required to get some sort of connection with anyone post-Amanda and if anything I've certainly been opening up and meeting a lot of new people ever since my break up with her.
Going on and on probably won't help and I'm boring anyone to death who actually bothered to read it, as I said my life has generally been busy enough to distract me from this and I have awesome friends like Josh and Wynona to make me feel loved but yes, I do miss that other kind of love despite all the pain involved in untangling the last mess I really want to see someone inject a wonderful new aura into my life.
I await for this day soon..............
ps. Ghost In The Circuit has got to be one of the most prettiest songs I've heard ever. ^^