Growing Up, Moving on but still a child ^^
+1 RSA (Responsible Service of Alcohol)
I have my Responsible Service of Alcohol, I applied for two jobs I should have easily gotten but missed out due to being/finding out a bit late. In desperation for more work I was recommended to get an RSA, which would open me up a lot more jobs, especially with Summer approaching. It's not going a revolutionary change to my life as I'm not going to suddenly work behind the bar on weekends but it opens the door to a lot more work, including with waitering as well so it's a lot more work I'll be getting plus the certificate will get me paid a little bit more.
Singapore GP
My mother has had a chat to my relatives, they're planning to give me free or cheap accomodation with them, rather then forking out up to $200/night in a hotel who are raking it in due to the GP Season. There are a few good spots for tickets although I'm limited in choice in regards to where to sit but I think I've found a nice place where there's some overtaking happening. Tax return comes in soon, so it'll be a nice way to celebrate the school holidays, plus I so want to experience a Grand Prix.
MGD3
Got drunk as soon as I got the download on Monday, did the launch with Antonia till 4am on Friday night, safe to say I'm heavily addicted to it, it's keeping my weight very low, it's introduced me to some new music both good like Ryu's Caramelldansen remix and Celldweller remixing Pendulum and some horrendous music like the psytrance version of Offspring's Self Esteem or the Pendulum vs Soulja Boy mashup, lol. This game owns my soul. XD
Ice Skating
Me and Emma went Ice Skating, something very different, dancing my heart out to 300+ bpm speedcore to trying to slalom around people who can't skate to bad RnB was a nice easy change but they did play The Presets which made me happy. Plus it was a nice way to chill out from the rave the previous night, yes, what a horrible pun.
Evolution: Age + Post Amanda
I realise I’m not getting at all younger and I must admit it’s certainly getting to that stage where I’m realising I’m getting older and I’m not a kid any more. Somehow I’m 22.5 and it does scare me, since the average age of my friends are around 17-18, not by choice I should hastenly add, I have no problems with my older friends I see and talk too.
Generally, past 21, I’m not looking at all forward to getting older as I would love to be as young as my friends are I can’t choose or control this obviously. There have been positives and it’s been the fact that it’s forced me to realised that by me constantly saying one day, it just means I’m going to get older and achieved nothing. I’m realising how important the whole concept of doing things now and living for now is important as my ex would always drill and force into me as much as I never wanted to believe it, she was right in a sense.
In general getting old is not fun and the only way you can counter this is to get some achievements and things to look back on. I’m really starting to notice this now and am disappointed in myself for what little I have generally done with my life over the past few years, technically a lot of really interesting and awesome things could have and should have happened but this is life not science fiction, what if’s don’t really end up happening and it’s really time I start making my moves which has also been heavily motivated by my ex which I'm using positively for once.
The hardest challenge this year without a doubt is moving on from Amanda but I’m starting to realise the existence and meaning to my life now after a lot of stress, depression, aggression and my insanity. While yes I did write this recently in another post I’ve started to finally use the ending to my last relationship for good and for my own good, not resorting to the hollow cheap empty ways of the past by taking cheap stabs at my ex.
Committing to a relationship is scary, I’m not taking stabs at Amanda, it goes for every relationship that a relationship is the most unreliable thing you can ever have in life, compared to friendships, work, education and so many things in life, committing so much to someone no matter what happens and as ask yourself, no matter what happens, not likely hence all the break ups and divorces in the world and trust me we certainly had a lot thrown at us in this relationship which lead to it’s demise months back. Anyways, what I’m trying to get at, is that I committed so much towards my dream and I have no regrets on it at all, I can’t deny the fact that I’ve had some amazing moments dedicating my life together with her for over then a year.
I’m starting to realise that I’ve only got myself to make me happy and I’ve got to commit to my own goals to make myself happy, I realised that in the relationship I fell into the trap of being too comfortable with everything and just being happy I have Amanda, she is not there now, nobody is there to fill that gap. I find it hard to remain comfortable by myself, hence why I’m starting to find lots of motivation to change myself and to really revive myself towards my own future goals, achievements.
My moves have been made out of nowhere, my anxiety seems to have gone, I’m heavily overconfident these days scarily enough, compared to my former fearful self. I’ve proven to be focused and committed when absolutely necessary and for once have finally managed to loosen myself up in the knowledge that my life is not a spiralling sea and abyss of going nowhere that I’m going somewhere and with my situation, having a lot of fun with it.
I don’t think I’m this amazing or god like person to others and I’m definitely not but to my former self, I think I am, in terms of being the person I really want to be, through knowledge, skill, experimentation, hard work and luck. I’m not happy all the time but overall I am and I still can’t believe how right things 16are going overall, having said this, it doesn’t not take a lot to bring me back down though at times.
Oh and to wash all that horrible personal shit down, best video ever. ^^
Death Note
Wow, seriously, watch this anime, finally made it to the end just last week and it's one of the most mindblowing psychological series you'll ever see. It's pretty intense near the start, has it's slower parts and does get a little bit weaker a bit towards the end but it's kept me absolutely addicted, a must see.
Underground Street Gathering
So there was a random street rave, we all placed bets on how long this would last and well, despite how illegal it was and a cop rocking up, it went till the morning. It wasn't the most amazing rave ever but overall I think it's the most fun I've had a rave in ages and I wasn't on anything, well I've gotten an addiction to Rockstar energy drinks now, which are pretty hyper, trust me, I've done my research while playing MGD on the higher difficulty levels, it's strong stuff even compensating for the big can, it tastes delicious too.
The night was great, I met a fair few new people which I didn't talk to much but had fun stomping with. Me and Antonia talked about all sorts of crazy ideas, including bitching about how there was no DOTA (instead they played Pretty Rave Girl) and making an attempt to be raver furries. Hannah has been a friend I could never understand being far too strange and whack for my liking in the past but we really got along well and she educated me on how different the rave scene is. Honestly my experience counts for fuck all and I've got so much to learn and am curious to find out more. ^^
Seriously, I've never danced so hard in my life although I've never been in better shape in my life either which helped a lot since I had this cute girl try to go on about how she tried to dance like me but couldn't. Oh and the speedcore at the end was so joy, I'm naturally used to dancing to this stuff, so it was lots of fun. Seriously, I could go on and on but it was just lots of fun, ended up chatting to the promotor and the scene is going to get better, met new people, made new friends, had lots of fun and I'm back in the scene. ^^
I can't wait for the next one. XD
VNV Nation + Last week @ Sin
Why Mikura PWNS ^^
Win, ^^
I have my Responsible Service of Alcohol, I applied for two jobs I should have easily gotten but missed out due to being/finding out a bit late. In desperation for more work I was recommended to get an RSA, which would open me up a lot more jobs, especially with Summer approaching. It's not going a revolutionary change to my life as I'm not going to suddenly work behind the bar on weekends but it opens the door to a lot more work, including with waitering as well so it's a lot more work I'll be getting plus the certificate will get me paid a little bit more.
Singapore GP
My mother has had a chat to my relatives, they're planning to give me free or cheap accomodation with them, rather then forking out up to $200/night in a hotel who are raking it in due to the GP Season. There are a few good spots for tickets although I'm limited in choice in regards to where to sit but I think I've found a nice place where there's some overtaking happening. Tax return comes in soon, so it'll be a nice way to celebrate the school holidays, plus I so want to experience a Grand Prix.
MGD3
Got drunk as soon as I got the download on Monday, did the launch with Antonia till 4am on Friday night, safe to say I'm heavily addicted to it, it's keeping my weight very low, it's introduced me to some new music both good like Ryu's Caramelldansen remix and Celldweller remixing Pendulum and some horrendous music like the psytrance version of Offspring's Self Esteem or the Pendulum vs Soulja Boy mashup, lol. This game owns my soul. XD
Ice Skating
Me and Emma went Ice Skating, something very different, dancing my heart out to 300+ bpm speedcore to trying to slalom around people who can't skate to bad RnB was a nice easy change but they did play The Presets which made me happy. Plus it was a nice way to chill out from the rave the previous night, yes, what a horrible pun.
Evolution: Age + Post Amanda
I realise I’m not getting at all younger and I must admit it’s certainly getting to that stage where I’m realising I’m getting older and I’m not a kid any more. Somehow I’m 22.5 and it does scare me, since the average age of my friends are around 17-18, not by choice I should hastenly add, I have no problems with my older friends I see and talk too.
Generally, past 21, I’m not looking at all forward to getting older as I would love to be as young as my friends are I can’t choose or control this obviously. There have been positives and it’s been the fact that it’s forced me to realised that by me constantly saying one day, it just means I’m going to get older and achieved nothing. I’m realising how important the whole concept of doing things now and living for now is important as my ex would always drill and force into me as much as I never wanted to believe it, she was right in a sense.
In general getting old is not fun and the only way you can counter this is to get some achievements and things to look back on. I’m really starting to notice this now and am disappointed in myself for what little I have generally done with my life over the past few years, technically a lot of really interesting and awesome things could have and should have happened but this is life not science fiction, what if’s don’t really end up happening and it’s really time I start making my moves which has also been heavily motivated by my ex which I'm using positively for once.
The hardest challenge this year without a doubt is moving on from Amanda but I’m starting to realise the existence and meaning to my life now after a lot of stress, depression, aggression and my insanity. While yes I did write this recently in another post I’ve started to finally use the ending to my last relationship for good and for my own good, not resorting to the hollow cheap empty ways of the past by taking cheap stabs at my ex.
Committing to a relationship is scary, I’m not taking stabs at Amanda, it goes for every relationship that a relationship is the most unreliable thing you can ever have in life, compared to friendships, work, education and so many things in life, committing so much to someone no matter what happens and as ask yourself, no matter what happens, not likely hence all the break ups and divorces in the world and trust me we certainly had a lot thrown at us in this relationship which lead to it’s demise months back. Anyways, what I’m trying to get at, is that I committed so much towards my dream and I have no regrets on it at all, I can’t deny the fact that I’ve had some amazing moments dedicating my life together with her for over then a year.
I’m starting to realise that I’ve only got myself to make me happy and I’ve got to commit to my own goals to make myself happy, I realised that in the relationship I fell into the trap of being too comfortable with everything and just being happy I have Amanda, she is not there now, nobody is there to fill that gap. I find it hard to remain comfortable by myself, hence why I’m starting to find lots of motivation to change myself and to really revive myself towards my own future goals, achievements.
My moves have been made out of nowhere, my anxiety seems to have gone, I’m heavily overconfident these days scarily enough, compared to my former fearful self. I’ve proven to be focused and committed when absolutely necessary and for once have finally managed to loosen myself up in the knowledge that my life is not a spiralling sea and abyss of going nowhere that I’m going somewhere and with my situation, having a lot of fun with it.
I don’t think I’m this amazing or god like person to others and I’m definitely not but to my former self, I think I am, in terms of being the person I really want to be, through knowledge, skill, experimentation, hard work and luck. I’m not happy all the time but overall I am and I still can’t believe how right things 16are going overall, having said this, it doesn’t not take a lot to bring me back down though at times.
Oh and to wash all that horrible personal shit down, best video ever. ^^
Click to viewDeath Note
Wow, seriously, watch this anime, finally made it to the end just last week and it's one of the most mindblowing psychological series you'll ever see. It's pretty intense near the start, has it's slower parts and does get a little bit weaker a bit towards the end but it's kept me absolutely addicted, a must see.
Underground Street Gathering
So there was a random street rave, we all placed bets on how long this would last and well, despite how illegal it was and a cop rocking up, it went till the morning. It wasn't the most amazing rave ever but overall I think it's the most fun I've had a rave in ages and I wasn't on anything, well I've gotten an addiction to Rockstar energy drinks now, which are pretty hyper, trust me, I've done my research while playing MGD on the higher difficulty levels, it's strong stuff even compensating for the big can, it tastes delicious too.
The night was great, I met a fair few new people which I didn't talk to much but had fun stomping with. Me and Antonia talked about all sorts of crazy ideas, including bitching about how there was no DOTA (instead they played Pretty Rave Girl) and making an attempt to be raver furries. Hannah has been a friend I could never understand being far too strange and whack for my liking in the past but we really got along well and she educated me on how different the rave scene is. Honestly my experience counts for fuck all and I've got so much to learn and am curious to find out more. ^^
Seriously, I've never danced so hard in my life although I've never been in better shape in my life either which helped a lot since I had this cute girl try to go on about how she tried to dance like me but couldn't. Oh and the speedcore at the end was so joy, I'm naturally used to dancing to this stuff, so it was lots of fun. Seriously, I could go on and on but it was just lots of fun, ended up chatting to the promotor and the scene is going to get better, met new people, made new friends, had lots of fun and I'm back in the scene. ^^
I can't wait for the next one. XD
VNV Nation + Last week @ Sin
Why Mikura PWNS ^^
Win, ^^