but i'm not moaning today
what i am on a verge of doing is not giving up
i have thought of it long and hard, on who i should give up or not
and there are a lot of people that lead psuedo-friendships with me, who say nice things to face, say bad things behind my backs, everyone gets this, there isn't a single person out there, a saint, who doesn't recieve a commentary on what they are, how they live and what they do
i have understood, why some people never wished to get on with each other
i'm not thinking of stereotypes right now, no not at all, i'm thinking of how i can get on with different kinds of people, though some never made an effort, so things end up bad
i'm able to open myself up when i'm hurt to get help, but then i can just shut everybody out and think of practicly nothing.
i've been making new friends, and you know what? new people means they have the power of knowing you from just being with you, not from what they heard about you, like in school, things get round everybody pretty quick and just so you know, people know that you're some 'insane satanist' that everyone hates...for being different
but thats back to stereotypes. i'm not getting in there. its a modern nation cult. and i guess every teen gets sucked in there one way or the other.
i've been deciding to change myself...its going pretty well for someone who isn't sure of what they want to do with their lifes. you see, when i was in town, dressed in my cute cyberdog gear, chris stopped to talk to two of his mates, and one of them commented, on how he could see me from the other end of the street (that was as in compliment) but then he asked me, you might be dressed cool but my music taste is crap (he kept on saying i probably think marilyn manson is industrial) no, i put my music where his mouth is, i told him i can go through a vide range of trance through to industrial and the more synthetic it is the better...that seemed to make me accepted
he told me i should meet some guy named polly...aparently he will like me...=]
yay for polly, i need to meet him
on other news
i am so tired
i'm going to go even tho this entry sounds unfinished
see my current music...
i have thought of it long and hard, on who i should give up or not
and there are a lot of people that lead psuedo-friendships with me, who say nice things to face, say bad things behind my backs, everyone gets this, there isn't a single person out there, a saint, who doesn't recieve a commentary on what they are, how they live and what they do
i have understood, why some people never wished to get on with each other
i'm not thinking of stereotypes right now, no not at all, i'm thinking of how i can get on with different kinds of people, though some never made an effort, so things end up bad
i'm able to open myself up when i'm hurt to get help, but then i can just shut everybody out and think of practicly nothing.
i've been making new friends, and you know what? new people means they have the power of knowing you from just being with you, not from what they heard about you, like in school, things get round everybody pretty quick and just so you know, people know that you're some 'insane satanist' that everyone hates...for being different
but thats back to stereotypes. i'm not getting in there. its a modern nation cult. and i guess every teen gets sucked in there one way or the other.
i've been deciding to change myself...its going pretty well for someone who isn't sure of what they want to do with their lifes. you see, when i was in town, dressed in my cute cyberdog gear, chris stopped to talk to two of his mates, and one of them commented, on how he could see me from the other end of the street (that was as in compliment) but then he asked me, you might be dressed cool but my music taste is crap (he kept on saying i probably think marilyn manson is industrial) no, i put my music where his mouth is, i told him i can go through a vide range of trance through to industrial and the more synthetic it is the better...that seemed to make me accepted
he told me i should meet some guy named polly...aparently he will like me...=]
yay for polly, i need to meet him
on other news
i am so tired
i'm going to go even tho this entry sounds unfinished
see my current music...