let it be
something is wrong with my left eye. stupid eye. why can't you just be OKAY?
am working on new website... can't say that i'll actually DO it.. just saying that i'm trying.. maybe it'll make me more interesting. am listening to beatles tunes in jazz form. pretty cool. grahams an idiot if he doesn't like the beatles. shut up graham. the drug free parade today was fun i guess. the band kids are awesomely cool. i have deepest respect for people with instruments. kudos to yousssss peoples. again, we can't please everyone. if only people included me in their lives, i'd be so much more helpful. if only i didn't feel awkward everytime i talk to someone, maybe i'd be better at this. i wonder if i'll make a good wife. i wonder if i'll make a shitty wife. if i ever have kids, they might be disadvantaged at life. nothing's changed much. still have a lot of thoughts clouding up my brain. i'm having a sunshower right now up there. need to study chem. chem sucks. chem should be some sort of punishment for drinking and driving. ohh the agony. new paragraph.
i heard dino and burris singing that song it's springtime for hitler i know that song. missy was singing it in middle school. haha. i miss missy. we even named the eraser hitler.. the hitler eraser. oh the memories. anyway... i badly want a camera. or something. i wish i was 4 again. 4 was nice. nice is good. life is complicated in ways i can't understand. my life is seemingly ok. it's moderately stable at the moment. getting along fine with mom. it's amazing. things are ok with dad. boring but ok. if only i had a brother or something... then i wouldn't have to entertain both sides of parents.. i'd be being loony with mom. and henry my imaginary brother would laugh at my dad's jokes. it's a good even balance. i can't laugh at my dad's jokes. they're rarely funny. someone has to.. henry.. he's the guy to do it. you'd think someone like my dad would have funny jokes... but ehh. maybe they ARE funny, but i don't care? lol. that's sad. i don't understand when people say it's over.. but then it's not. do you know how frustrating that is as the only child? it's this sick twisted game of love and marriage. like stupid little kids that can't make up their minds. he loves me. he loves me not. well, last time i checked, i thought you both hated each other.. now everything is forgotten, forgiven and new again. fresh. but i'm not included in this. my mind can't adapt. no puedo adaptarme. it's so stupid that i'm bitching about this.. because right now life is seemingly perfect. i'm an idiot for bitching. i'm still happy. life is good. life is perfect. i am happy. strawberry tallcake cures anything and everything, i swear.