what to say
Just working 3 days a week now at the public library. Even that drives me crazy somehow. I have exhausted my endless well of patience and am now on my way to becoming a brusque bitchy customer service person. How did I ever think I could make it as a teacher?
My one and only library program went really well though. I collaborated with a teacher at a local high school and got some of her students involved. It was exciting planning something, presenting, maybe making a difference? It's hard to see a direct impact on the day-to-day level. I feel like all I'm doing is handing out visitor's passes. But the library as a whole makes a difference, I'm pretty sure, and I'm helping it to function, so therefore I must be doing something meaningful. Need to be more patient (but still persistent).
Health still sucks. Saw another doctor. Parted with more piss/shit/spit/blood for more rounds of tests. Am hemorrhaging cash with all these medical expenses.
Betsy wants me to move into her house at the end of August when a room opens up. I'm very tempted to go for it. But I don't want to live in the city anymore. I'm not sure if I can. I'm so tired, living out in tree country with my folks has been very restful and restorative. But I'm feeling so isolated out here without friends around. Living with Betsy would be a dream come true in that regard.