I wish it was cold outside.
Cold hearted memories of us driving, and we didn’t know where but we just went anyways. Up the long winding roads of the town we both wanted to get out of, increasing in elevation, increasing in love, increasing in the fact that we knew our time was temporary.
Perched on the playground where we first spoke of our ever-growing infatutation, that first kiss was filled with empty promises and overzealous loneliness.
Sitting and not knowing and then realizing that it was just right.
We drove up the long windy road and you understood me better than anyone in an instant. We walked up the hills and we lost our breath because we stole the oxygen that flowed through our tired bodies away from each other.
And so it goes.
And so we made it official wth chopsticks and peachy colors. And it was just right. Until it couldn’t have been worse. And I wish it were me and I wish I did all the harm or just walked away but that fucking faith I had and will never have again because it failed me oh, in the worst way.
And it’s what saved me from saving myself from you.
I remember that cold night when we drove up that long windy road for the last time- and we both knew it. I knew this was an end to those means.
Any apologies were redundant and reveled in self-indulgence because I believe you never bestowed upon me the power of your loveliness, or ugliness for that matter my dear.
As I took drags of my cigarette I let those tears flood my face to make up for that drought and I drove up the long windy road, I looked into your eyes and I knew that I loved you more than anyone in my entire life.
And I knew you had torn apart my muscles and eaten the flesh in front of my own eyes and I relunctantly never wanted to accept that you would never love me the way I wanted to be loved
Your eyes gleamed like a sad child pleading for some sort of forgiveness, something you knew wasn’t there. We sat and cried in each other’s arms and for a moment I felt the connection that we knew we broke, and it fizzled baby, like that love you had before. We talked about the problems about why we wouldn’t be together and we knew it. And we knew it had to be it because we would be crazy if it wasn’t and we were already deemed crazy for taking it this far.
But we loved each other, or so it goes, but we knew those hot nights filled with sappy rock ballads and lovely pieces of lust were broken and now I still cant listen to those bands and I hope you know that.
I miss you, I miss every part of you, good and bad. I miss you telling me you love me, telling me you can’t live without me, and I wish it were true. I remember telling you that you had me, underneath it all I was always yours and I always would be and you assured me this would be reciporicated. I said maybe, just maybe we can. I miss your eyes and the way you would kiss me so hard like you knew I’d be gone in a matter of months.
I miss those days of nothingness, those moments of sweet and simple caress yet complicated emotions.
Now I’m done.
I’m almost nothing in your eyes, but now I know I'm something, and someone you will remember forever because you told me that one night when you had gone off the deep-end again.
Even though I know it's wrong, more than anything I wish I could return to those simple days, the days of driving and we don’t know where, the days of loving and we don’t know why, and the nights of sobbing when we have to let go.
Perched on the playground where we first spoke of our ever-growing infatutation, that first kiss was filled with empty promises and overzealous loneliness.
Sitting and not knowing and then realizing that it was just right.
We drove up the long windy road and you understood me better than anyone in an instant. We walked up the hills and we lost our breath because we stole the oxygen that flowed through our tired bodies away from each other.
And so it goes.
And so we made it official wth chopsticks and peachy colors. And it was just right. Until it couldn’t have been worse. And I wish it were me and I wish I did all the harm or just walked away but that fucking faith I had and will never have again because it failed me oh, in the worst way.
And it’s what saved me from saving myself from you.
I remember that cold night when we drove up that long windy road for the last time- and we both knew it. I knew this was an end to those means.
Any apologies were redundant and reveled in self-indulgence because I believe you never bestowed upon me the power of your loveliness, or ugliness for that matter my dear.
As I took drags of my cigarette I let those tears flood my face to make up for that drought and I drove up the long windy road, I looked into your eyes and I knew that I loved you more than anyone in my entire life.
And I knew you had torn apart my muscles and eaten the flesh in front of my own eyes and I relunctantly never wanted to accept that you would never love me the way I wanted to be loved
Your eyes gleamed like a sad child pleading for some sort of forgiveness, something you knew wasn’t there. We sat and cried in each other’s arms and for a moment I felt the connection that we knew we broke, and it fizzled baby, like that love you had before. We talked about the problems about why we wouldn’t be together and we knew it. And we knew it had to be it because we would be crazy if it wasn’t and we were already deemed crazy for taking it this far.
But we loved each other, or so it goes, but we knew those hot nights filled with sappy rock ballads and lovely pieces of lust were broken and now I still cant listen to those bands and I hope you know that.
I miss you, I miss every part of you, good and bad. I miss you telling me you love me, telling me you can’t live without me, and I wish it were true. I remember telling you that you had me, underneath it all I was always yours and I always would be and you assured me this would be reciporicated. I said maybe, just maybe we can. I miss your eyes and the way you would kiss me so hard like you knew I’d be gone in a matter of months.
I miss those days of nothingness, those moments of sweet and simple caress yet complicated emotions.
Now I’m done.
I’m almost nothing in your eyes, but now I know I'm something, and someone you will remember forever because you told me that one night when you had gone off the deep-end again.
Even though I know it's wrong, more than anything I wish I could return to those simple days, the days of driving and we don’t know where, the days of loving and we don’t know why, and the nights of sobbing when we have to let go.