this is what i need
im really terrified to check my hotmail.
im still shaking and im all nervous and everything. i cut my hair and its short. the back is still long and scoops so its longest in the middle, but the front is like to my chin. omfg.. its not that bad. its pretty cute. but its so different. and im scared everyone will hate it. so im holding my breath and keeping it behind my ears. my hair isnt as fluffy, however. and that is good. it feels thinner, which is also good.
i think im going to block island. holy crap how did my mom do that. o well. ill go to virginia and block island. heh heh heh. she cant stop me. just as she couldnt stop me from cutting my hair. grr just to spite her. *growl hiss*
i made this thing today. its really sad. i was crying while i made it. but i made it anyway. last night i didnt go to sleep till about 6 am b/c i stayed up drawing and reading this book called mirror mirror. its really weird. its a whole buncha short stories that r so bizarre. the authors name is silverman, but its only a pen name. his real name remains 'a closely guarded secret'. oOo swanky. holy fuck avery word. heehee i told u. im all jumpy b/c of my hair. wow its a shocker huh.
i had a terrible day. but i wasnt tired. im staying up again tonight and drawing and finishing that book. heh. mmm i hate sleep. i thought i loved it. but i had a dream last night that im not going to write about b/c i hate it. but it was such a terrible dream, i dont wanna have it ever again.
tbh my whole life feels like a dream all of a sudden. i keep remembering things and i think oh no its not real justa dream but then my heart practically stops and i get this intense rush all throughout my body and i realize that its real and that its my life and that scares me. wow this is a long entry. i hate making long public entries. o well. ill make all the last ones friends only, then. to even it out. wow i have so many friends only entries. heh. ok well anyway, today everythng felt like a dream, more so than ever. and i felt so low all day. i felt so terrible about everything. then i retreated to my room from 3 pm till about 7 30, when emily called. i didnt talk to her, my mom did. blech, block island. suck my cock. i listened to avril lavigne, looked at lain b/c i <3 her, and decided it was time to chop off my hair. i also made that thing (when i cried). i showed kira a picture i made and she said wow ur really strange. that made me wanna cry. everyone thinks im an angry/sad/depressed teenager. kira said i always look sad. its not my fault, my face just does that. but im not sad i SWEAR! well today i was. but more i dunno. blank, i guess. but to prove everybody wrong, next year im wearing all bright colors, and bright nail polish. and im not going to look sad ever, ill always look awake and cheerful.
HAH did anybody hear my other idea? all summer ill wear pants and capris. then in winter and fall im wearing shorts and skirts. with tights and long socks of course. trouser socks haha oh yeah. but mm yea. im gonna buy awesome colored tights like purple and pink and green and everything. and im gonna buy those awesome converse, and those awesome kangaroos. oh yes. itll be so hot. too bad i wont have any friends next year.
OH MY FG!!! hmm i switched subjects. anyways, im not an angry/sad/depressed teenager. im relatively happy, honestly. a bit frusterated/lazy/lost at times, but never anything else. i m an ok kid, i promise. i really m!
wee my hair haha it doesnnt go behind my shoulders. i guess ill have to show my ears from now on. oh damn. i hate my ears.
and if i wake up tomorrow and hate it, itll always grow back. thats the beauty of my hair. theres a lot to play with, and it always grows like 2 inches in 1 month. heh woopie ^_^ wow wtf is with this mood change. i swear i dont have anything to be so loopy about. all day i was so.. melancholy! wow!! what a word. omfg i love thhe world.
im gonna go change my info. heh. then draw until taylor gets online prolly b/c i didnt talk to him all day. and that makes me sad... b/c i wasnt planning on it being that way.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR
im still shaking and im all nervous and everything. i cut my hair and its short. the back is still long and scoops so its longest in the middle, but the front is like to my chin. omfg.. its not that bad. its pretty cute. but its so different. and im scared everyone will hate it. so im holding my breath and keeping it behind my ears. my hair isnt as fluffy, however. and that is good. it feels thinner, which is also good.
i think im going to block island. holy crap how did my mom do that. o well. ill go to virginia and block island. heh heh heh. she cant stop me. just as she couldnt stop me from cutting my hair. grr just to spite her. *growl hiss*
i made this thing today. its really sad. i was crying while i made it. but i made it anyway. last night i didnt go to sleep till about 6 am b/c i stayed up drawing and reading this book called mirror mirror. its really weird. its a whole buncha short stories that r so bizarre. the authors name is silverman, but its only a pen name. his real name remains 'a closely guarded secret'. oOo swanky. holy fuck avery word. heehee i told u. im all jumpy b/c of my hair. wow its a shocker huh.
i had a terrible day. but i wasnt tired. im staying up again tonight and drawing and finishing that book. heh. mmm i hate sleep. i thought i loved it. but i had a dream last night that im not going to write about b/c i hate it. but it was such a terrible dream, i dont wanna have it ever again.
tbh my whole life feels like a dream all of a sudden. i keep remembering things and i think oh no its not real justa dream but then my heart practically stops and i get this intense rush all throughout my body and i realize that its real and that its my life and that scares me. wow this is a long entry. i hate making long public entries. o well. ill make all the last ones friends only, then. to even it out. wow i have so many friends only entries. heh. ok well anyway, today everythng felt like a dream, more so than ever. and i felt so low all day. i felt so terrible about everything. then i retreated to my room from 3 pm till about 7 30, when emily called. i didnt talk to her, my mom did. blech, block island. suck my cock. i listened to avril lavigne, looked at lain b/c i <3 her, and decided it was time to chop off my hair. i also made that thing (when i cried). i showed kira a picture i made and she said wow ur really strange. that made me wanna cry. everyone thinks im an angry/sad/depressed teenager. kira said i always look sad. its not my fault, my face just does that. but im not sad i SWEAR! well today i was. but more i dunno. blank, i guess. but to prove everybody wrong, next year im wearing all bright colors, and bright nail polish. and im not going to look sad ever, ill always look awake and cheerful.
HAH did anybody hear my other idea? all summer ill wear pants and capris. then in winter and fall im wearing shorts and skirts. with tights and long socks of course. trouser socks haha oh yeah. but mm yea. im gonna buy awesome colored tights like purple and pink and green and everything. and im gonna buy those awesome converse, and those awesome kangaroos. oh yes. itll be so hot. too bad i wont have any friends next year.
OH MY FG!!! hmm i switched subjects. anyways, im not an angry/sad/depressed teenager. im relatively happy, honestly. a bit frusterated/lazy/lost at times, but never anything else. i m an ok kid, i promise. i really m!
wee my hair haha it doesnnt go behind my shoulders. i guess ill have to show my ears from now on. oh damn. i hate my ears.
and if i wake up tomorrow and hate it, itll always grow back. thats the beauty of my hair. theres a lot to play with, and it always grows like 2 inches in 1 month. heh woopie ^_^ wow wtf is with this mood change. i swear i dont have anything to be so loopy about. all day i was so.. melancholy! wow!! what a word. omfg i love thhe world.
im gonna go change my info. heh. then draw until taylor gets online prolly b/c i didnt talk to him all day. and that makes me sad... b/c i wasnt planning on it being that way.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR