Feb 08, 2007 17:12
You know I hate to admit it, but maybe its jealousy.
I have never experienced that feeling, that feeling where I feel I am no longer so close with my best friends.
We grew up together and our families are close, they came to holidays with me and have been there for me through everything, but moving to Ga, I guess kind of made me feel almost like I have lost the 2 most important people in my life. I still have not found any friends that can compare to them, nor that I can even call my best friend so I guess when I hear they have Best Friends it kind of makes me sad. I wish things were different, I wish we talked more and visited more, I guess I just wish things were how they use to be. IDK. Im sorry Carolann and Kathy if I have been bitchy lately, I guess i just feel after 11 years that suddenly things have changed between our friendship.
Anyway as most of you know, my household is shitty again.
Moms planning a divorce and is planning on moving to either Rahway New Jersey or Elizabeth New Jersey.
We have family there so I guess she just needs someone.
I feel bad she is always sad, always crying, she tries to be happy but I can see that underneath all of that she is miserable.
I think its time we left, so I might have to stay in Winston Salem North Carolina with my grandma untill my mom gets everything settled in Jersey. I have moved around my whole life, leaving Atlanta will be hard but I will get use to the change in no time.
Times aren't easy.
The more I think about leaving for the Navy the more I dread it because I know I am going to be homesick.
Im excited yet miserable about it at the same time.
I want to take a vacation.