original fiction thanks to inspiring fanmix
Title: You're my best friend, I love you
Author: cyandragonfly
Fandom: Original
Rating: G
Summary: The love that has never been; the love that has never ceased being.
you know i'll always be your slave/until i'm buried, buried in my grave
A/N: Inspired by this fanmix.
--
I kiss you and come undone. But it's only in my dreams.
I sit next to you at parties and remember all the great times we've had. All the laughter we've shared, all the experiences we can't help but relive when we're together. All the music we've listened to; sung to; danced to. All the movies we've loved so much we had to re-inact them
I remember how much I've hated you in the time I've known you. But how, somehow, I still can't help but love every fault I've ever seen you posses.
You've always been with other people. Rarely without a significant other. But sometimes, I've seen you look at me, like you're seeing me for the first time. And when you do, there's a light in your eyes so bright that I have to step back. Look away.
And then the next time I see you, you're with someone else and I have to step back again, in a different way.
Why?
Why do I always look for you in a crowd? Why do I always want you to see me? Why do you never treat me as more than a friend? Why can I never stop wanting you?
Why am I bound to you?
Everyone loves you. In some way. You're beautiful and an amazing person, yes you have short comings but considering my state in regards to you, I tend to forget them.
You seek me out at parties so that we can dance. I look at you and you pause before looking away. We have drunken philosophical discussions while trying to stay on beds (the roof wouldn't stop spinning) and we end up on top of each other - you don't move until someone calls your name from outside.
I know the list of songs that we dance to every night I see you. I'd make you a mix tape but it's not your birthday and I know exactly the look you'd give me if I did. Instead I mention I want to hang out with you more and you give me half that look anyway. So I say forget it. And you say, no, you'd like to, sometime. And I try to hide the size my smile truly wants to be.
I have to stop myself from touching you as we walk around town. I can't help it, you're my friend and friend's touch, right? I can't help that I want to touch you in a different way sometimes. No, always. Well, in my dreams.
Someone took a photo of us the other night. Your hand's in mine and all I can think is that it belongs there and if I never get to see it there again, at least I have evidence of it now. And your face is as perfect as ever as you look into the lens.
I've tried to push back these feelings. This feeling but I can't get away from it when I'm around you. As soon as I see you, it's back and I'm lost to all reason.
Alone, if you cross my mind (which you do, almost daily) I can't help but smile. The thought of you relaxes me. Settles me into a state of happiness I've rarely seen. Only you can do this to me. I wish I could tell you that the only thing my heart wants is you. But sadly, that's the worst thing I could do.
We're drunk again and dancing to Midlake. I want to fall into your arms but you fall into mine. I don't know what to do. What kind of touch is acceptable. How it is that I'm allowed to touch you. Sometimes I wonder why you do this, tempt me. It's as if you know what I feel but refuse to give me the happy ending that I (sometimes) think we both want. A sign, that's all I need.
You seem happier with me than anyone you might be dating. I can look at things objectively (honest) and it's true, you smile at me and frown at them. Roll your eyes and walk away to find me and complain about the smallest things.
If I could say what I really mean, rather than agreeing that they're stupid - if I could ever tell you how I feel, I'd do it like in 10 Things, where Patrick sings to Kat and she can't help but fall deep into those wide open eyes.
I kind of freakin love you babe. I fell a long time ago. I want to hold you tight all through the night. I want to give you all you need. I wish you'd let me. I feel we're perfect for each other. And I've thought about it enough. Much more than I ever should.
I picture our life ahead. You and me, just wasting time. Movies; music; people; fun. Us. It's perfect. Happy. Relaxed. Everything I've ever wanted. Everything I've ever heard you say you wanted for yourself. And it works.
But only in my mind.
I can't deal without you. Even as we are. So I'll never say anything that might change that for the worse.
Best friends is all we'll ever be.
I love you.
Author: cyandragonfly
Fandom: Original
Rating: G
Summary: The love that has never been; the love that has never ceased being.
you know i'll always be your slave/until i'm buried, buried in my grave
A/N: Inspired by this fanmix.
--
I kiss you and come undone. But it's only in my dreams.
I sit next to you at parties and remember all the great times we've had. All the laughter we've shared, all the experiences we can't help but relive when we're together. All the music we've listened to; sung to; danced to. All the movies we've loved so much we had to re-inact them
I remember how much I've hated you in the time I've known you. But how, somehow, I still can't help but love every fault I've ever seen you posses.
You've always been with other people. Rarely without a significant other. But sometimes, I've seen you look at me, like you're seeing me for the first time. And when you do, there's a light in your eyes so bright that I have to step back. Look away.
And then the next time I see you, you're with someone else and I have to step back again, in a different way.
Why?
Why do I always look for you in a crowd? Why do I always want you to see me? Why do you never treat me as more than a friend? Why can I never stop wanting you?
Why am I bound to you?
Everyone loves you. In some way. You're beautiful and an amazing person, yes you have short comings but considering my state in regards to you, I tend to forget them.
You seek me out at parties so that we can dance. I look at you and you pause before looking away. We have drunken philosophical discussions while trying to stay on beds (the roof wouldn't stop spinning) and we end up on top of each other - you don't move until someone calls your name from outside.
I know the list of songs that we dance to every night I see you. I'd make you a mix tape but it's not your birthday and I know exactly the look you'd give me if I did. Instead I mention I want to hang out with you more and you give me half that look anyway. So I say forget it. And you say, no, you'd like to, sometime. And I try to hide the size my smile truly wants to be.
I have to stop myself from touching you as we walk around town. I can't help it, you're my friend and friend's touch, right? I can't help that I want to touch you in a different way sometimes. No, always. Well, in my dreams.
Someone took a photo of us the other night. Your hand's in mine and all I can think is that it belongs there and if I never get to see it there again, at least I have evidence of it now. And your face is as perfect as ever as you look into the lens.
I've tried to push back these feelings. This feeling but I can't get away from it when I'm around you. As soon as I see you, it's back and I'm lost to all reason.
Alone, if you cross my mind (which you do, almost daily) I can't help but smile. The thought of you relaxes me. Settles me into a state of happiness I've rarely seen. Only you can do this to me. I wish I could tell you that the only thing my heart wants is you. But sadly, that's the worst thing I could do.
We're drunk again and dancing to Midlake. I want to fall into your arms but you fall into mine. I don't know what to do. What kind of touch is acceptable. How it is that I'm allowed to touch you. Sometimes I wonder why you do this, tempt me. It's as if you know what I feel but refuse to give me the happy ending that I (sometimes) think we both want. A sign, that's all I need.
You seem happier with me than anyone you might be dating. I can look at things objectively (honest) and it's true, you smile at me and frown at them. Roll your eyes and walk away to find me and complain about the smallest things.
If I could say what I really mean, rather than agreeing that they're stupid - if I could ever tell you how I feel, I'd do it like in 10 Things, where Patrick sings to Kat and she can't help but fall deep into those wide open eyes.
I kind of freakin love you babe. I fell a long time ago. I want to hold you tight all through the night. I want to give you all you need. I wish you'd let me. I feel we're perfect for each other. And I've thought about it enough. Much more than I ever should.
I picture our life ahead. You and me, just wasting time. Movies; music; people; fun. Us. It's perfect. Happy. Relaxed. Everything I've ever wanted. Everything I've ever heard you say you wanted for yourself. And it works.
But only in my mind.
I can't deal without you. Even as we are. So I'll never say anything that might change that for the worse.
Best friends is all we'll ever be.
I love you.