Pennsic, year III
Tuesday, drive out. Crazy girl, set up in the rain.
Wednesday. New and amazing person, Dante, squash, sweet tea vodka, more alcohol, getting primal in the rain, mischievous blue eyes,
Thursday, The tunic incident begins, Lost boys and back bends, mesmerizing dancer
Friday, operation Johnny, Motor pool, new friends made, Ivar and his circus peanut! Meads
Saturday, getting to know Vikings, Iron Lance’s party, 26 Pennsic virgins sacrificed!
Sunday, reflections, Brother’s sauna of a tent,
Monday, wine tasting, Getting wild with Shelly and Patty, Morgan and Booty
Tuesday, slim readings for me, hand fasting pirate style, aboard Mhara,
Wednesday, tunic incident ends, looking for sharp and pointies, gifts exchanged, Pictures aboard Mhara, getting to know a new special, relaxing at the Vagabond, holding hands in a lightning storm.
Thursday: old newcomers, vanishing friends, bad news from home, helping the helpless, Marjorie hating on the duck.
Friday: surprise visitor, missed classes, amazons revealed, the dagger and the mermaid,
Saturday, breakdown, helping Vikings, promise of a new future, the long goodbye, whip cream in the sky, the wisdom of Dave and Moriah
Sunday. Words from Jen and Wes, my pieces of amazing, the plan realized. A final reflective glance.
This years Pennsic was a strange, wondrous and different thing this year. Even as early as Wednesday It started to get interesting and in many spots, adventurous for me while there. I met more lasting friends there this year then I have in the previous 2 years. The events as they happened still seem to blur with me, but so many good things as well as one bad thing transpired to me this year. Looking back at it now, I’m starting to feel a peace, a sort of zen about things that happened in the order that they seem to fall in. Don’t know if the things happened as they did are in complete order (none involved kept a journal, though 2 of us tried!!) but it was all fun, and great to do. Be forewarned, some of this reads like a personal journal, and a 'length advisory' is in effect. Also note that in parts it will get ‘syrupy’ as this is more a log for me to remember what happened and how I felt about the events that happened as they did. . If you're not into a full read, the cliffnotes above should be enough to tell you what I did and what happened. So without anymore flap on my part:
Pennsic 39
Tuesday: The drive out.
I packed everything the weekend before, so I was basically driving about my life with a load of camping things to take with me to the event, tent, garb, gear, snacks, all were loaded into tubs and various places beforehand. So all I really needed to do to leave was pick up the trinkets that weren’t already in the truck, and head out. I was originally slated to leave on Wednesday but with some super kindness on my bosses part, he turned t me at about 1 and said, we’re good here, go have fun with your girl! J So I set out to do just that. Let my campmate know I was leaving and to expect me to show sometime about 6.
Driving out the mountains looked, as always amazingly pretty to me, clouds rolling against their sides slowly while Serenity and I traced through their curves. Only encounter I had while getting there of note was a crazy girl, in a focus, trying to run me off the road, deliberately. Don’t know if she was just a sign of bad things to come, but at the time I didn’t care. Barreling into the back of that car while she slammed the breaks on me was my only concern at the time. Needless to say she finally pulled in front of a semi, making it swerve to avoid her, flashed a finger out the window, and took and exit. Thank the fates for small favors.
Got to camp and talked a bit with Keshet and proceeded to set up. The time to set up went….slowly hehe. We were unfamiliar with some of the stuff we brought and how to set it up quickly (last time the tent was out was last year) after a while, it started to rain on us. It actually felt good considering how hot it was getting. After finally getting things sorted, totes stored and consolidation of the mountain of snacky stuffs, I went on a short visit then went to bed. Leaving the rest of the night, uneventful.
Wednesday:
The morning went well actually but I was chomping at the bit to see the girl that I haven’t seen in so long. Scott drove by and talked a bit with me on things, the drive and what not. How amused I was with it as well as the set up.
When he left I went up to runestone to see the person that made me so anxious to finally get to the event. Ates was the first to greet me, as we sat, she did crafty things as we talked, I was a impressed how quickly we fell back into the pattern in fluid conversation with one another while there. All the time I watched storm clouds slowly encroach on us being escorted by the sounds of thunder. After a time I went to Yiv to see Cookie finally, I knew thunder made her nervous so I wanted to be there to walk her back to camp. After we got back we talked strained to each other a bit until her escorts came down the hill. Then went my way, leaving her with them.
That day, like everyone after that conversation, I contemplated packing up, and just going home. I really thought I had no real reason to actually be there anymore. While I was sitting there trying to get my body to start the process up out of nowhere came two Vikings, Berthorga and Marjorie. B I remembered from my first year at Pennsic, she was, as always receptive, sweet and full of energy! The girl she had in tow was new, at first quiet, and had a pair of these captivating blue eyes accented by a cute mischievous grin. I don’t know why the timing was so perfect, cause another minute later and I would have been in the process of loading the truck that sat behind me. But the short of it was that we talked, they got me up and took me up top to do some looking about. After a while B and I got into more complexed conversations on various subjects while Marjorie eased into talking with me more and more. We eventually came to their camp and sat and talked as we waited for B’s brother to roll in.
Wednesday night was actually the best night I can honestly say I’ve ever had at Pennsic. Everything that happened snowballed into more and more fun. I think I remember saying that I had sweet tea vodka to Marjorie back at my camp, and we demolished half to bottle together before heading out. From there the night got…blurry. I can remember we linked up with B, with the intentions of going straight to chalk man. But got sidetracked hehe. A friend of B’s named Dante was in his camp, just shy of intended destination offering us some of the best squash I’ve ever had, slow cooked over a grill and topped with melted cheese, it was crack. Then there was more alcohol (I think rum) while it stated to rain. I remember shirts coming off, and running around in the rain at Dante’s camp while the weather soaked us with authority.
All the while something was happening with me and Marjorie, something that we basically just slid into. With both of our shields gone from all the booze we started to get closer then either of us actually intended to. I remember more alcohol, and us running together in the rain down the hill, with both B and Dante close behind with a gallon of mudslide. Marjorie’s coin belt jingling along as she spouted “jingle, jingle, jingle’ with every step we took together.
She wanted to dance so our intended target was Vlads, which was a mud pit by the time we got there. Hearing music we walked the lake and eventually came to the oasis there, Melissa and her crew were playing some high toned music under the tarp with other dancers crowding in under the tarp to stay dry. Marjorie, Dante and Robin started dancing in the puddles on the road while me and B, joined by lost boy 422 watched. While I watched Marjorie dance I remember 422 saying ‘watch this, stand here’ to B, and then drenching her with water pooled in the side of the tarp! We finished the mudslide with authoritative guzzling (mainly by Marjorie) and I kinda, lost track of what happened next. I remember loosing the others to the bathroom and getting back to my camp, giving her some water and then making out heavily and wrestling lightly in the rain while waiting for B and Dante to come back from the flushies. Eventually we got her and B back to her camp, and got Marjorie, who was out of it by then back into her tent, and I said goodnight.
All in all, that night, was the best night I ever had at Pennsic. Not because of how fast we fell into each other, but simply how everything fell into place. It was the distraction that I really needed even though my conscience was telling me to stop for another reason. From that night and all throughout war I blamed solely one person for keeping me there. Thank you B for bringing her up the hill when you did. It saved me from doing yet again something stupidly regretful.
Thursday:
Another day full of hot, I was burned out of my tent at about 10:30, I was still following a plan that unbeknownst to me was already destroyed. So I want up top to look for a blue shirt to wear for the night of midnight madness…. The infamous blue shirt. The running gag all throughout war was when this lady was eventually going to get it done. One day turned into 2, then three, then 5.. Eventually she made 2 of them side by side and I said gimme em both if she could have them done by midnight madness for me. The first shirt, way to big for me finally was completed by Sunday, the other never was (royalty it seemed had gotten to her and requested favors from her to be made. So I was bumped day, and day again as she bent to their whim…. ‘Sigh‘, and people question why I want to turn away from that stuff totally.)
Eventually I ran into Manuel and Slim and discovered the former was going to be mayor in 2 years, sweet! Also met Morgan for the first time and got to know motor pool a bit, promised a few days here and there and went my way back down to the Vikings camp with Slim.
Lost boys were eventually starting to kick in and what friends that came from our eastern group to Pennsic gathered there that night. Along with B and Marjorie. This night was fun as well, but not as drunken as the first night. Me and Marjorie were still in the same groove we were in last night, only better. I saw two things that made me say wow that night. I saw her demonstrate her flexibility by doing these amazing backbends (think I made her do 3 or 4 on dares) and her dancing. She’s only been doing it for 6 months so far, but what I saw blew me away. She was beyond good with it, she was amazing! Easily outdoing the others I saw there going at it in the pit, she had this incredible energy to her as she moved about. I usually see girls dancing at these events and think that almost all of them look to be dancing for the eyes of guys. That whole “look at me’ vibe I get from everyone of them save Moriah. But I could simply tell she wasn’t doing it for that. Like I’ve seen from watching Moriah, she was just completely lost in the rhythm of the heat. The whole thing simply entranced me, she looked so alive.
It was also great to see Scott and Brian with us as well, not working and just simply enjoying the night’s fun. In future days I’d worry for their lack of sleep, but that night he seemed, like all of us that were there together. Just living in the moment, having fun, and getting to know old and new friends better.
Friday:
From here the events got a little muddled but it started off with another, strained talk on the hill. It was also the time I learned that friends of mine were working behind my back at something. Apparently there was an operation Johnny designed to keep me there with Marjorie. (with friends back home helping coordinate things with people at Pennsic) I didn’t know it but realized it when I came down from the hill and saw a small ‘force’ of friends waiting for me there. Though my heart by this time was doing cartwheels I was touched by it all. I never knew how much my people looked out for me til then. It was a pleasant surprise I never expected or thought I deserved.
It was also the first day I worked with Morgan and Tomasas in motor pool. I found this place a thing of pure Zen for me. I was working with my hands on engines, albeit small one cylinder golf carts the principal was the same. It was another distraction while I made new friends, Tomasas was knowledgeable beyond compare, a wealth of information and great to work side by side with. It was a great distraction form all the hoopla that would normally build in my head in the mornings.
Friday night came slowly with me and Marjorie once again linking up and headed to chalkman. It was the first time I was ever there in the three years I’ve went to Pennsic, and it was just as described. An Irish pub atmosphere full of music. There we drank a beer and socialized with friends we found there. B finally said she was headed to Ivars camp for circus peanuts and mead… circus peanut? This intrigued us, so we went with. Turned out it was an amazing drink that tasted just like circus peanuts! As B slugged a bottle down of it Ivar, with the glee of a teen (complete with dancing) continued to make more on site! The rain came again as we simply didn’t care. We were again having another awesome night with each other.
Saturday:
I woke and almost immediately went to motor pool again, I was having trouble keeping my mind off of things, and had a guilty twang in my heart about what I was doing and feeling with Marjorie. The thing that brought me here, girl I loved with those big brown eyes were being replaced with something more intense, those vibrant blue eyes of hers. Working with my hands as hard as I did there kept me centered in the mornings I went. I didn’t erase all the confusion I was feeling or helped things that were happening make sense to me. But it did give me a vehicle for me to direct all the raw emotion that was coming off of me about my current social situations.
That evening me and Keshet linked up with Katrine and Patty. Katrine I knew but Patty her boy was new. I was amazed on how well the two of us connected so fast. Patty was a pure strain fighter type, with a sense of tough guy humor with warmth that I could relate to. We were both pretty quick minded also, so only after maybe 20 minutes found each other falling into a rhythm of insults, threats, chest beating at one another and laughing about how drunk on cheap scotch we were getting. Keshet was having a blast finally, I was so glad we got to Katrine and her present for Keshet. Her own slave for the night. We hung at Vlads for a spell then went to find Marjorie and B again, but got separated when Patty decided it was time to have time with his mate. The night waned after that, which was a good thing. I needed a rest from the 100mph whirlwind we were doing thus far. I was just glad that Keshet finally got out and had a blast.
Sunday:
I stayed in camp for most of the day, trying to calm my over clocked nerves with tai chi. Getting mixed success. It was hard to keep emotions in check at this point. So I thought today would be a good day to just stay in… didn’t work so well as Marjorie came up to camp to see me on the way to a class…that we missed. So all during the day we hung, shopped and looked around at Pennsic together. It was nice and the very first time we talked hand and hand with one another without anyone else there. Things were hashed out between us more and more and I was feeling more then comfortable with talking with her our home situations which were extremely similar, as were our relationship situations. Not only that, I found a ton of things similar about us. Our personal views, perspectives, mutual sense of adventure, directness, strong sense of values and various other things linked together so flawlessly. There was no pressure felt when talking with her, even while disagreeing. We could still do it with a smile at each other. It was, in a word, serene.
Sunday night we broke off from one another. I had a party to go to in Pierce‘s, our neighbor at 4 wind’s honor. Upon one of the beams that held the roof over the camp there was the head of a pig that was used to sacrifice Pennsic virgins to. Apparently virgin would stand under the snout of the pig while someone asked them if they wished to be sacrificed. Then a shot would be poured on the snout and drank as it dribbled off the bottom of the head. Pierce found that night 26 virgins to be sacrificed. All on the name of his party for him and his wife’s 5th anniversary. It was fun for both me and Keshet, who was playing with a new guy Ragnor. Up til this point Keshet’s potential toys didn’t seem to impress me, but this guy seemed down to earth and more mature then the others I saw her with. He impressed me enough to finally get my seal of approval for her. Which he took with pride. After that I went down to see Marjorie again, finding her tired. So I satyed in the viking camp, dozing off while waiting for her. After taking a nap she blew out of her tent at 90mph to a porta castle and came back. It was kind of funny watch her zoom all over the place like she did. We went out alone that night together but we seemed to be behind everything going on. Meeting up with Slim and Ivar and only having limited success trying to find action to get the two of us into. Everywhere we went we fell short all night as we walked together. Eventually I brought her back home and went back to my camp felling like I failed her on our first night walkiing together alone.
As a side note, the Pomegranate mead they served there not only tasted awesome, but had a great kick to it. And they had kegs of it!!! Happy-yum!
Monday:
Monday opened up with motor pool again, lunch with Manuel, then wondering with B and Marjorie up top for more shopping. I was looking to pick up the new cloak I had commissioned at a shop there. The cloak was new, something to define me more then the one I had. Something in my personal colors of blue, red and black. The cloak I had made was done my a master seamstress, who tailored it specifically to what I was looking for. Wool outer with a soft inner lining. Small pouch pockets at the bottom for weighting it as well as side concealed pockets in the interior of the cloak. It was lighter then the previous cloak, but just as warm, larger, and moved with me better (superior materials) The result of it was as Marjorie put it, ‘simply wow‘.
Later I got a call from Manuel wondering where I was… Wine tasting was today and I clean forgot about it. In a flurry of planning and movement Brian came up golf cart style and picked up Keshet (who also forgot about it) and took her down with the cargo we all had from shopping. Eventually we got there and met new friends Captain Morgan and Booty, his wife. As the day went on we got completely blasted again on multiple bottles of wine (Marjorie, totally wasted actually had enough and stumbled from the table back to her camp sayings she was done!! Lol) It was a day filled with girl on girl make out sessions spurred on my cheese invterventions, falling (and flailing) in chairs, wrestling and water fights.
Tuesday:
I was finally able to track down Slim at his camp to get a reading (or three) on me. Some of what it said was inconclusive but other stuff made perfect sense to me. Especially the stuff about me and what was racing in my head at the time. The most curious reading was the one that posted what the next week was like. Especially the last day I picked, which was a card with a sunrise on it. Renewal for the day of Tuesday the 17th. At the time I didn’t know what it meant (but since it’s passed now I have a clue about what it was for now, and I like the result.)
Later me and B went up to see Captain Morgan to a mock hand fasting ceremony for the new crew member and his wife. It was a great camp, even got to do rapid fire jovials with Robert the Quill there. The food was also tasty finished off with a cupcake cake tree surrounded by light up roses. All in all a tasteful night at the Mariners.
Marjorie finally woke and found us and we took a few laps around the lake together, running into Vlads to see Finas and her friends from Northshield. Talked with her a bit and Marjorie, yanking me by the hand, blew out of Vlads again after B, who decided she was tired and wanted to head back to camp (her ankle was really messing with her).
Wednesday:
Midnight madness day…. Not gonna lie, I woke in complte terror. This was the day me and Cookie were supposed to celebrate our one year, here. I had to come to a decision, try one last time to salvage us or just let her slip from me. Anyone reading this, that knows me what I already was going to do. I don’t like to just walk away from things I believe are good things. What we had up until we got here was better then good, it was stupid great barring the distance between us. I couldn’t just flush us without trying to do something to stop it. Throw away all the gifts I made, and found for her. All those days leading up to Pennsic, everything I still felt for her, even then when I felt she didn‘t feel anything for me at all. Didn’t seem right. I just wanted to understand, what did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to deserve what was happening to me, and us. After I texted her I found she had other stuff to do today….. I texted back when you get time, I want to talk.
Meanwhile, while waiting to get a time slot with her, B showed up with Brother Regan, he was headed out and gave her a lift to my camp. Form there we talked a bit and went up top to get some shots aboard Mhara, Captain’s ship. It was amazing, and the view from her deck was incredible! We saw so much from the top of it as we snaped shots all over the place. Eventually we thanked the camp for their hospitality, and went back down to Vikings camp. It was the only place that seemed to cool what was causing my insides to flip flop like they were. Keshet was gone and I was all alone on the hill. The percentage chance of me bolting now got even higher with this fact. Fortunately B and Marjorie were already up and about. After chatting with them and their campmates for a while we headed to another camp just along the side of runestone hill to play croquet.. on a hill, with little grass to stop the ball. With penalty shots if the ball did something like roll into the fire pit or hit the line of tents at the bottom of the hilly area we were playing in. I can tell you there are rules to regular croquet, but ours changed like the wind as we went along. We were also getting more sloshed as it went with more and more penalty shots being called. Especially Marjorie, she seemingly was doing good for a while, then I finally got the text and had to leave her there. The game with all of it’s puzzles and ball rolls took much longer then any game I’ve ever played (about 6 hours for the single round to end)
Up on the hill I saw Cookie laying there, with her escort. We walked to her tent and sat, and talked. It wasn’t as strained as the first 2 talks. I was just trying to understand what I did wrong, and kept getting told I was mad. And it scared her. The last thing I wanted to do was that to her. After a long talk she decided that friends was good for us now, I went along reluctantly. I knew what that was going to end up being when we left the fantasy land we were vacationing in. Nothing but occasional conversation with one another when we got home. The thing I hated to think about, even then, after everything that happened I still wanted to right us. Eventually we exchanged gifts, the reason being I saw it a waste to just toss rings, pins and other gifts into a dumpster along with the stuff that was going to be used for our midnight picnic on top of the mountain. I knew everything I had, all plans I had made for tonight together were smashed. So I wanted to at least set up for some kind of future when we finally went home, and reflected.
Went back to the camp…game was still on and Marjorie was crunked, taking more penalty shots then the others by far. So I facilitated the game by helping the man in winning position do just that. By moving the posts around a bit. By this time it was dusk and we walked back to her camp and got her some water, sat her down and talked a bit. She was getting agitated, maybe because of me leaving to go where I did. I’m not sure, just know when I got back, she was drunk and a seemed a little more ‘rowdy, n ready to fight’ then she normally was.
When we finally got up top the streets were was stuffed with busy! People were every where’s in the shops. Marjorie wanted sharp and pointies and to look at buying armor. I was looking to see if my other blue shirt finally got done (nope) So we ran though the market area, to the point of me loosing her and vise versa, only to have me spot her and join up with her’. This was the first night we were both a little cranky for sorta the same reasons at each other. Her talking on the phone back home and me leaving her to do what I had to. We talked, bumped heads and then argued about stuff we said,… but it was civil. Marjorie and I almost felt comfortable arguing with one another about our different views on the subjects we argued on. Even with raised voices. We were able to see each others points, even managed to changed each others views to see the other was right on different subjects. It was a refreshing change then what I was used to. I didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her. I could be as direct as she was without letting it get to us. every time it happened we went back into our routine of talking about stuff and walking together, sometimes hand and hand.
When it hit about midnight I suggested taking her to YIV to get her something to eat. She was by now, low on cash, so I told her we’d do a sampling of stuff and I’d pay for it, sort of an improved first date. For the first time since she was there I finally got her to relax, sit back and just enjoy where she was. Talked with her soothingly, told her she deserved a little rest from everything that was eating at her at home. She finally got receptive and just got lost with us just sitting there. This was the second really good night we had there, and my second favorite night of Pennsic. Eventually with her relaxed, I finally did as well, let what was killing me just disappear for a few hours with her.
We were just having fun from here on out, doing simple things like feeding her dates and nuts while we sipped on chai and iced chocolate. Listening to the approaching thunderstorm that was about to wreak havoc on the campground. Hearing it pour down over YIV’s rooftop while we listened to the thunder together. It was nice. Even up to the time to walk her home, again in the rain. We even stopped a minute to watch the thunder roll over the sky together. She was such an amazing change from dealing with all of Elisabeth's insecurities. Marjorie seemed very stable for someone that went throgh what she did so far in life. I admired her for it. As we broke for the night we hugged, kissed each other goodnight. Last this she said as she looked at me was if It was worth staying as long as I did. My answer was simple. Yes it was, and you’re the reason that kept me here.
Thursday:
Woke again and did my last tour of duty at motor pool. It was kind a sad, I was starting to have fun there. But new I had told Manuel that in no other terms, he had me for 4 days, 16 hours total. I wanted to stick to that seeing people were leaving. Ny this time there were pretty much leaving me there to run stuff on my own for good stretches of time. I liked the trust I got so quickly and as a side, I got to see an auto wood carver that was amazing!!! (want!)
After I got done I once again strode right past my camp down to the swamp to see the Vikings. I was there only a few minutes then B got a call from home that her grandfather was about to leave us… It was ad, even though she wasn’t close to him. But he was still blood and you could see it effect her. I did what I could, like always. Talking to her, seeing how she was every few minutes and simply hugging her, trying to squeeze the bad out of the situation. By this time some of her camp was gone, Fina moved to top side with her shire (or maybe even Northshield), Brother Regan was packed and gone, her brother and family were gone and Leezak and his wife were the only others still there.
Only glimmer of less somberness came from the duck… Marjorie’s much hated yellow friend I brought down with me. It quacked, a lot at her. I slingshot stylized toy that, when shot into the air, made a racket of quacks. she hated it in that amusing mischievous smile of hers, like she was thinking of what could be done to mutilate the thing as we shot it around her mockingly. Eventually B’s brother came back without the family to get gear and help with breakdown (they’re stuff was still all there when they left) and we talked more and eventually it became afternoon, time for their annual swill tasting competition. The was a quest composed of them and a bunch of others from on ‘the hill’ to see which beer tasted the worst. I declined to the event and headed back up to my tent for a long needed nap.
Lost boys party tonight, and it was huge, Me, B Marjorie and Orn walked up to Dante and Robin’s camp for a spell, then off to see other people. B’s ankle, her bane all throughout war was still bothering her as we walked to b-blocks. Had some of the best cookies I’ve ever had (don’t know who that girl was but she can bake!) Talked for what seemed like longer then we wanted to be there, then headed back down to their camp. Marjorie was tired, and rightfully so. All through war we were going at an amazingly brisk pace. So when she turned in somewhat early despite the noise only a few yards away, I understood. I briefly went to lost boys for a spell, found cookie but only talked with her few and seeing none of my friends, went back to my tent.
Friday:
I took off early to go get Serenity from the amazing parking spot I had in row one finally. Just to find the battery dead. Apparently I left the nav system on before I left her there, letting it slowly choke the life from her. Fortunately as I got back to my camp I caught Tree coming u the hill with a cart. (again, timing seemed to be with me) We grabbed my jumper pack I was using to charge my electronics with and jumped her. As it ran we talked a bit about the same subject I seem to gravitate to. The last thing he said though etched into my mind, even now it sits there. Making me wonder if he was right about what happened me me, cookie and Marjorie at Pennsic.. After he left I stood, letting her get much needed electrical flow through her. And drove her down the hill.
I packed some stuff last night when I got back to my tent to burn off all the energy I had so I could sleep somewhat. I slowly took down my camp, taking my time at it. A storm was supposed to roll in tomorrow and I was sure I would get everything stowed today completely dry. While I sat there, contemplating leaving again, a surprise came up the hill. Marjorie again came by to see me, saying, so you are leaving us, aren’t you. She was headed to a class and completely took me by surprise. I thought silently for a minute and finally said, guess not now. You’re here. After sitting for a few we went up top again together, she had a class she wanted to take…. But forgot today was Friday, and not Thursday… so we ended up sitting, walking, chatting like we always did together.
When she finally learned my real age, she was amusingly shocked. Not because of what we did all these days with the difference, more of the fact to her I looked late 20’s. B said Marjorie is an old soul, and age didn’t bother her so much more then lack of a connection did. She has the world on her shoulders, had to grow up fast at a relatively young age, and it showed in her. I’ve seen girls much older act much younger or less wise then she was in all aspects. The conversation came back to me again that me and Scott had in parking. Maybe he was right, maybe I didn’t loose. I won and hadn’t figured that out yet. I had someone in front of me now that had everything over what I had before, save that I still loved Elisabeth deeply and what she still had someone back home. But Marjorie was more then a distraction, she was an amazing find with qualities that mirrored my own. Her reasoning, sense of adventure, firey attitude, willingness to care, physical aspects, and willpower all meshed with mine perfectly.
Eventually we took a beading class, that was confusing to us at first. Then went to another improve class on the history of Amazons. After words we walked and talked more moving through the merchants place. Her funds she said she’d spend for the trip were still low, and I remembered that when we were here last there was a dagger with a mermaid she kind of pined over getting there Wednesday. My last gift to her was that dagger. She looked at it reflectively, admiring the art all the time we walked back down the hill towards her camp, commenting on how much she loved mermaids and thanking me for getting it for her.
Friday night we all headed to the chalkman again one final time. All of my friends save Scott were there, in and out. The music was grand and the beer this night was great. Fina was there with her guy who had apple pie in a glass sturgeon drinker thing. Although we were having a blast I felt the pull of home come over me. Marjorie was great, but I didn’t want to say goodbye to her tonight. The 12 days It took to get to know her were simply amazing. Tonight she was again having a blast, talking with others and being jovial. She looked so alive, as I melted into the back round and finally disappeared completely.
I went to camp feeling like I wanted to say goodbye to her, but I knew what I had to do. Elisabeth and I had a door still cracked opened. She had the same back home with her shaky relationship there. If we went any further with what I was feeling, and what she seemed to feel, I had to make sure we were on the same page. Besides, I wanted to be friends with her first, like she said she felt was a better basis for a relationship to start at. Get to know each other and do what I wanted to do more and more there the right way. In a time when I was completely snubbed by the one person that brought me to Pennsic she single handedly made what I felt all disappear, just by being near by.
Saturday:
I woke and broke down the tent and EZ up and packed the rest of the gear into my truck early and drove down to the Vikings to help with their breakdown. After some gearing up we started breaking them down, it was somber for everyone of us there a bit. It seemed that some of them were robbed of staying longer, Orn was a good man and I wanted to get to know him better. Same with Marjorie and B and the others. These were good people with fantastic stories that made me laugh so hard at times I completely forgot the turmoil that churned in me. I finally said my good byes to everyone, with the last being Marjorie. We hugged, and promised to keep in touch with one another (as much as she could). Then texted Elisabeth that I was leaving and rolled out of the swamp.
I didn’t really plan on stopping one last time by their camp. But her text almost sounded pleading that I got back ‘… aren’t you going to come say goodbye?’ I can’t lie, I almost said no. A good part of me wanted to. Just blow out of there and get on the road, leave her behind for what she did to me here, all the pain, the silence, everything she did and didn’t do. But a voice pleaded in my head out of nowhere saying to go to her Johnny. Still think it was Karen’s playing with me head like she‘s done since she died. But I was trapped in the line to get out of Pennsic long enough so I detoured at the field rune stone hill was on and cut across it to her camp on the other side.
Sam was messing with something that seemed to get wrecked, think she pricked her finger and said her famous, ‘looka me, I am a rock star’ phrase. All throughout Pennsic when I saw Sam, she seemed to want to stop what was hurting me. You saw it in her eyes even through the jovialness, she was a good friend and I didn’t want to loose her. Even now she had that feel to her of, don’t get angry with her please Johnny. I wasn’t Sam, I think I know why she did what she did hun.
The two of us walked to the top of the hill to finally say the thing that she was the most scared of before Pennsic, saying goodbye…. This was actually the best talk we had since we had gotten here. It was relaxed, and it took almost three hours to finally say goodbye and let go of one another, we simply couldn‘t let of one another. I don’t know what happened before I got there. I don’t think I ever will. But right there told me a lot of information I was missing. I can’t go into details, but it was sweet, caring and reminded me of what we were supposed to be instead of what happened. Ironically our goodbye to me felt like our hello should have been, and Vise versa. In the months to come I predicted our talking would become more and more stagnant and brief, till we totally winked out of each other lives for ever. We’ll see how right I was on this part of things, and if I am… It would be a sad ending to what would have been an amazing story till now.
Later that night I drove home, I felt shaky as I maneuvered Serenity through the curvy mountain passes at high speeds. I had to call Dave to see if he was up. I didn’t want to go straight home. When I finally got there they were cleaning the downstairs pretty thoroughly. I watched in relative silence til they were done… I don’t think I ever hugged Moriah that hard. I just shuddered and let everything out that was in me as I hugged my best friend. Dave and Moriah that night showed me how amazing they were listening to me and telling me what they thought. Giving me calm insights to what I was thinking and what they saw. Dave especially.
Sunday:
Not part of Pennsic but merited note. I was supposed to see Jen and Wes for a small get together that ended up in something a lot more special to me. Me and Jen talked in length about what happened and how badly I blamed myself for it happening (it took a ton of people to make me finally see I didn't do anything wrong, or anything to deserve what happened to me, thank you Jen for drilling that into my head finally.) Slowly they all trickled in, Carlie, Kevin and Emily, Jim Trish and there wee ones... It was amazing how a small gathering turned into a small scale party that night. I had so much support from them, and found out how much I missed my friends while I was at fantasy camp. We joked, laughed, frolicked and talked about topics that ranged all over the board. Most of them wanted to know more about the girl that saved my sanity while I was there then the situation that tried to rip it away.
These, along with Dave and Moriah and those I left on the hill and in the swamp were my pieces of amazing. Without them this journal wouldn’t have been written. To all my friends, old and new, you showed me exactly where you’d be when it was me that fell. I won’t forget it, especially when we return to ‘the Pitt event’ next year in force. And even though the one element I came there for was a nightmare, the other things I did there were awesome, touching, exciting and adventurous. And thank you again Marjorie for being my constant companion, and someone who’s now on my mind every day of the week since I got home.