(no subject)
It has been a long itme since i have dreaded going home, but im hereing the same argumentsw i used to, katie you are probably the only one who knows what im talking about, except this times is is my borhter and my father. ITs rironic that teh first cd i found to put on to drown out their knoise was the same one i used to block out the epic fight betweenhim adn my mom. Yes my junkie brother has finely been caughyt, it was michelle who dragged them down. My brother is once again on the verge of being kicked out....consantly. I never was able to comprehend it like i do now. Not only that but now i know that this time im worried he wont ever come back. I'm scared, tshi is almost exactly how it used to be, excfept the stakes are higher. I know this is teen annxst bullshit, but would u be worried, maybe not. Well i guuess you dont know my family if u dont think so. Not only this but my parents must think they falied raising to drug addicts. I hate to see them fighting i havent felt like this since i was twelve. My brotherwas caught for crack cocaine, heroine and who knows what else. My dad's side is extremely fucked up, for those who dont know, and it seems as though wonjce again a son will be disohoned in my famlily. For you see my Grandpa hasnt spoken with my dad since february 3, 1993, but that is a long story. I dont know what to do, i know my life is good for the most part, and gfor those who dont know me please understand that i am not dramtizing anyhting and in fact, i am making this fairly generalized. These are onyl ythe beginning of my family problems. I dont complain, i dont bitch about my family..... often. I dont need to hear tahteverythigns going to be alright, i fdonmt need to hear all the comforting bullshit that would normally come with a post liekt his, i jsut want it off my chest. I dont know homw much anyone will understand any of this, for all my best know a fair amount,kaite u probably know the most fo rthe sole reason that u saw and heard form both sides, and u went through my brother's shit with him. SWEET WALLS OF BURNING SANITY, do not disturb my ignoratn slumber, instead let me awake to the gasp of carbon dioxide and let my skin blister in the remains of your reality for i wish no longer this one, and i could only blame myselfs, no this is not about suicide, i believe that is weakness, unless u have the imparticular reason in which i would grant it. breathe deep while your fuel has yet been swallowed by the fire.