Damn.
You know...I have someone I really considered a friend. Like, this person was someone I felt incredibly close to. Time happened, things happened, we saw each other less and less as she stayed away from the places we would find each other. It sucked, but I always thought we were still close.
I had some closure I needed to get on something, and I tried to contact them at these places. No response. I knew that she was around, and that she went to one of them, at least, from time to time. Hell, I'd seen her as recently as three weeks ago at the other. So I left her messages, I tried to get ahold of her. Totally didn't want to bring it to the state it was at...but certain things could just not be let to hang wirthout resolution. So I left them another message elsewhere, with all sorts of support and love.
And when I finally get a response today, it was...well, rather cold. Or unemotional, at least. Maybe it wasn't, I dunno...maybe I'm just reading too much into it. But with everything we'd been through, it kind of hurt. Okay, rephrase that. It really hurt. I don't know what I did, and I wish I did know, 'cause I'd do what I could to make it better. But it's been quite a while since they've opened up to me in any way...and frankly, I've been getting the feeling for a while now that they had no interest in talking much anyway. But I still tried.
I dunno. Maybe I am making too much out of this. I don't know. There are certain nuances in conversation missed in non-verbal communication. But for someone who's always been so warm with me, to be that...clinical.
Although I am sorry, if you do read this. I didn't intend for us to get distant. I just...sorry.
Ehh, fuck it.
--Jer
I had some closure I needed to get on something, and I tried to contact them at these places. No response. I knew that she was around, and that she went to one of them, at least, from time to time. Hell, I'd seen her as recently as three weeks ago at the other. So I left her messages, I tried to get ahold of her. Totally didn't want to bring it to the state it was at...but certain things could just not be let to hang wirthout resolution. So I left them another message elsewhere, with all sorts of support and love.
And when I finally get a response today, it was...well, rather cold. Or unemotional, at least. Maybe it wasn't, I dunno...maybe I'm just reading too much into it. But with everything we'd been through, it kind of hurt. Okay, rephrase that. It really hurt. I don't know what I did, and I wish I did know, 'cause I'd do what I could to make it better. But it's been quite a while since they've opened up to me in any way...and frankly, I've been getting the feeling for a while now that they had no interest in talking much anyway. But I still tried.
I dunno. Maybe I am making too much out of this. I don't know. There are certain nuances in conversation missed in non-verbal communication. But for someone who's always been so warm with me, to be that...clinical.
Although I am sorry, if you do read this. I didn't intend for us to get distant. I just...sorry.
Ehh, fuck it.
--Jer