fear and self-loathing in Cleveland
i have problems, seriously. i've been reverting to a state of paranoia and weird behavior that i cannot explain again. i get on edge about one stupid little thing and then the little Oliver Stone in my head starts concocting all of these little conspiracy theories and they pervade all of my thought processes. I don't know what started it, but it's been going on for too long now. It just makes my entire life more stressful (which is hard to imagine since i'm constantly stressed about school and work and money and all that), and it gets in the way of me being able to be me. One little thing aggravateds me or bothers me that is totally unrelated to anything, and it just spreads into everything I say, do, and think. I've been able to forcefully control it most of the time just by reminding myself that whatever is bothering me is propbably nothing, but that doesn't always work or last too long. All I know is i need to fix it before it forces me to do something stupid or ruins me. It'll subside again, it always does, I just wish it would go away now, because quite honestly, i haven't been too happy with my life lately... and 90% of that unhappiness is from my own damn head.
i could go on and on, and get into specifics, but just sum it up by saying i'm scared and aggravated and fighting hard against both... and have been, and will be.
but that's enough for now, i have work to do.
i could go on and on, and get into specifics, but just sum it up by saying i'm scared and aggravated and fighting hard against both... and have been, and will be.
but that's enough for now, i have work to do.