(no subject)
Ok, so I am having some of the funnest experiences of my life here. I just need to realize that and be happy. I have a lot of really cool friends here. I just need to realize that and be happy. I don't need a girl in my life right now. The right one's not even around. She's probably not in existence. I just need to realize that and be happy.
My brain has all the right ideas but my heart just won't let go of certain things. I need to just be myself the way I'm supposed to be. I don't have to try to impress anyone. I don't have to try to convince people that they are missing out on something great. I'm not a part of certain peoples' lives the way I want to be. I need to get over it all. I've been trying to get too close to certain things and then when it fails I just try to ignore them completely. I just need to be myself. I was so good at it.
All this is so easy to say but it's so hard to do. I feel like I never got to experience a certain part of my life that I always wanted to experience. Everything was finally coming together and then it all just ended before I got the best of it. I feel like I missed and I can't go back to it. I feel like I grew up and moved on before I got what I wanted before I left.
I can usually be ok with everything. I can pretend like I'm ok with it. But eventually things just build up and I freak out. And then I start all over again. I just want it to be over. I want to move on. I need to realize that I can't do anything about it and move on.
I basically need to change. My life has changed and it's not what I was expecting. I can't just sit around and wait for something. I need to embrace what's new and make the best of it. I can so be this. I have been making progress too. Each day gets better and I feel like I am growing up more. I need to be more independent.
There's just been way too much on my mind and I need to stop thinking about it and freaking out.
One thing I need to get out though is I do have the best friends in the world. I think the one thing I do get out of when I go home is really making the best of what I have with my best friends there. Being around them makes me forget about everything and it makes me appreciate what really is there. I'm especially glad I've been a lot closer to certain people I've felt distant from the past year or so. And not to take away from Lakeland, but I've really bonded with some new people here and I'm thankful that I'll be seeing them almost everyday for the next four years. I guarantee that halfway during Christmas break I'll be complaining on how much I miss them all.
My brain has all the right ideas but my heart just won't let go of certain things. I need to just be myself the way I'm supposed to be. I don't have to try to impress anyone. I don't have to try to convince people that they are missing out on something great. I'm not a part of certain peoples' lives the way I want to be. I need to get over it all. I've been trying to get too close to certain things and then when it fails I just try to ignore them completely. I just need to be myself. I was so good at it.
All this is so easy to say but it's so hard to do. I feel like I never got to experience a certain part of my life that I always wanted to experience. Everything was finally coming together and then it all just ended before I got the best of it. I feel like I missed and I can't go back to it. I feel like I grew up and moved on before I got what I wanted before I left.
I can usually be ok with everything. I can pretend like I'm ok with it. But eventually things just build up and I freak out. And then I start all over again. I just want it to be over. I want to move on. I need to realize that I can't do anything about it and move on.
I basically need to change. My life has changed and it's not what I was expecting. I can't just sit around and wait for something. I need to embrace what's new and make the best of it. I can so be this. I have been making progress too. Each day gets better and I feel like I am growing up more. I need to be more independent.
There's just been way too much on my mind and I need to stop thinking about it and freaking out.
One thing I need to get out though is I do have the best friends in the world. I think the one thing I do get out of when I go home is really making the best of what I have with my best friends there. Being around them makes me forget about everything and it makes me appreciate what really is there. I'm especially glad I've been a lot closer to certain people I've felt distant from the past year or so. And not to take away from Lakeland, but I've really bonded with some new people here and I'm thankful that I'll be seeing them almost everyday for the next four years. I guarantee that halfway during Christmas break I'll be complaining on how much I miss them all.