The Aftermath
Title: The Aftermath
Author: cwgirlup75
Rating: T
Pairing: Zack/Hodgins
Spoilers: 'Aliens in a Spaceship'
Summary: Hodgins realizes who he really wants.
Disclaimer: Remember that episode where Angela walked in on the boys having sex in Cam's office? No? Hmmm - guess I don't own Bones.
Reviews are my crack. Please feed my habit :)
The Aftermath
Jack Hodgins sat at his workstation, peering through gritty eyes at the bits of toll pass that Dr. Brennan had removed from his jeans. It was 1:00 in the morning, and his leg was throbbing, but he didn't want to go home. If he were completely honest with himself, he couldn't bring himself to go home.
“There you are.”
He looked up to see Angela standing over him, a worried look on her face.
“Zack and I went to the hospital to visit you.”
“Yeah, they....uh....they let me go.”
“No, they didn't. You left against medical advice and stole crutches that I ended up paying for.”
“Look, Angela, I'm fine. They stitched me up and gave me a whole goody bag full of medication. Don't worry about me.”
“Sweetie, you need to go home. Whatever you're working on can wait.”
Hodgins looked at her in frustration. “Actually, it can't. Whoever did this is still out there, just waiting to bury someone else alive. That person might not be as lucky as we were. If I can just piece enough of this together, it might help us somehow.”
Angela put a hand on his shoulder. “You were buried alive, operated on, and almost blown up. You need to sleep.”
He looked down at the desk, a tear making its way down his cheek. He sighed and looked back at her. “I can't sleep, Angela. I couldn't sleep in the hospital either. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that car. I just can't handle the thought of being in that big house alone.”
Angela was silent for a minute, thinking about what he had said. “Well, what if I went home with you? That way you wouldn't be alone and then maybe you could sleep.”
Hodgins closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He had hoped to avoid this particular conversation for a few days, but apparently that wasn't going to happen.
“I appreciate the offer, Angela, but I don't want you to come home with me.”
Angela frowned a little. “Well, you just said that you don't want to be alone.”
“I don't want to be alone, but you're not the one I want with me.” Angela looked confused and a little hurt, and Hodgins cursed to himself. This reaction was exactly why he had wanted to wait on this.
“Look, Angela, I don't mean to hurt you. I know I've been flirting with you lately, but....well, I did a lot of thinking when I was in that car. I mean, there was a good chance we were going to die in there. We had no way of knowing if our message got out, we didn't know how far down we were buried, and we were running out of air. Things like that tend to make you really think about life and what you want out of it. I realized that all of the things I want - someone to love, someone to make me whole - I already have. I just haven't let myself see it until now.”
Hodgins reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded, dirty piece of paper. He looked at it for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the creases, before handing it to Angela.
“Read this. It will explain things more clearly than I can.”
Dear Zack,
Hey, buddy. If you're reading this, I guess things didn't turn out too well for me. I know you all did your best to find us. Our message must not have gotten out after all, because I know you would have figured it out.
Anyway, I need you to do a few things for me. I need you to say goodbye to Cam and Angela for me. You're going to be the head guy in the team now, so look out for the girls (but don't tell them I said that). Booth will try to push you around, but don't let him. Just because he's older doesn't mean he's better than you.
Don't worry about a place to live. I changed my will last year and left the house and grounds to you. There is also a trust fund set up to pay the taxes and upkeep of the property.
Ok, I guess I just need to say this and stop rambling. I realized something in the past few hours that I need you to know. I love you, Zack. Not just as a friend either. I'm in love with you. Surprised, huh? Believe me, when it hit me, I was surprised too. You fill a place in my heart that I didn't know was empty. Yeah, I know how corny that sounds. But it's true. I just wish I had realized this when I had a chance to do something about it.
Well, I guess that's about it. Dr. Brennan has one last idea that she wants to try before our air runs out. If all goes well, I'll be able to tell you this in person. If not....well, remember what I said. I love you.
Jack
Angela re-folded the letter and handed it back to Hodgins with tears in her eyes. “Well, I can't say I saw that coming. I've never lost a guy to another guy before. I knew you and Zack were close, but I didn't think you felt.....that was beautiful, Jack. It truly was. I need you to promise me something. I want you to promise that you'll show Zack that note.”
“But I can tell him now, instead of just giving him a note.”
“Look, tell him too, but trust me when I say he needs to see that note. When you and Brennan were missing, Zack was......Hodgins, I've never seen him like that. He was hovering on the edge of a breakdown. I mean, his work was every bit as good as always, but there was something else there. I really can't even describe it, but he needs to know that you were thinking about him. So let me take you home, talk to Zack, and show him that note.”
Hodgins opened his mouth to argue, hesitated at the look in Angela's eyes, and nodded his head. He carefully put everything away before grabbing his crutches and hobbling outside. Angela helped him into the car and slid into the driver's seat, quickly shifting into gear and heading towards Hodgins estate.
Angela parked in the garage and helped him make his way up the stairs to Zack's apartment. She smiled at him at the top of the stairs and hugged him gently.
“This is it. I know everything will work out.”
“I'm suddenly really nervous, Angela.”
“Don't be. I have faith in you two. Just speak from your heart, and the rest will fall into place.”
Hodgins watched as Angela descended the stairs and backed out of the garage. As the sound of her engine faded, he knocked on Zack's door and cleared his throat.
Zack pulled the door open and his eyes widened in surprise. “Hodgins - why are....I mean, I thought...Angela said she was going to, quote 'pull him out of work and make him go home'. I thought you would be resting by now.”
“Well, technically she did bring me home. I just...really wanted to see you, Zack. Can I come in?”
“Oh, yes come in! You should be sitting with that leg propped up.” Zack helped Hodgins' hop over to the couch and got him settled. He grabbed a couple of throw pillows off the chair and put them under Hodgins' injured leg. “Have you taken any of your pain pills?”
“No, I haven't taken them yet. They knock me out, and I want to talk to you. Here, come sit next to me.”
Zack sat on the couch gingerly, afraid that too much movement would cause more pain in Hodgins' leg. Hodgins took a good look at him and for the first time noticed his friend's red rimmed eyes and exhausted demeanor. He took one of Zack's hands and stroked the knuckles with his thumb as he tried to collect his thoughts.
“You know, your hands are really soft, Zack.”
Zack gave Hodgins a look of complete confusion. “Thank you, Hodgins.” When Hodgins continued to silently run his thumb over the back of Zack's hands and showed no signs of talking, Zack spoke again. “As glad as I am that you're here, I can't imagine that you came just to tell me that my hands are soft.”
Hodgins sighed. “You're right. I just can't seem to figure out how to say what I want to say. You're the best friend I've ever had, Zack, and there's a very good chance that our friendship is going to be blown to hell when you hear what I have to say.”
“Well, if it helps, I can assure you that I would never end our friendship, no matter what you may say or do.”
Hodgins' nerves returned with a vengeance, and only his injured leg kept him from jumping up and pacing the room as he spoke. “Here goes. When I was in that car, I had a lot of time to think. For the first time in my life, I was facing the very real possibility that I was going to die. I realized some things about myself that I was doing my best to hide, even from myself.” He pulled the note out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Zack. “Read this. Please. It will tell you everything you need to know.”
Zack took the note and scanned it silently. He read it through twice before re-folding it and looking at Hodgins.
“You love me?”
“Yeah, Zack, I do. And I totally understand that you probably don't feel the same way, and that's ok. I just hope things don't get all weird between us. I mean, I would never try to make a move on you or whatever, so I hope you don't feel uncomfortable around me now. People can't help how they feel, right?” The more anxious Hodgins' became, the faster he talked, and the last several words came out in a rush.
Zack laid on hand on Hodgins' thigh. The simple touch seemed to calm the babbling entomologist, who quieted and looked at Zack, waiting for his reaction.
“I love you too, Jack.”
“Ok, well like I said that's.....wait, what? Did you call me Jack?”
I tell you that I love you and all you focus on is that I called you by your first name?”
“Well, no....I mean.....I just never expected this reaction.”
“I've been in love with you for a long time, Hodgins. There was a time, shortly after I came to the Jeffersonian, that I thought perhaps you felt the same way. Then you started flirting with Angela and the two of you seemed to be getting closer, so I decided that I must have been wrong. It's good to know that my initial assessment was correct.”
Hodgins smiled. “So am I.” He reached out and ran his fingertips down Zack's cheek. “Can I kiss you, Zack?”
“I think I would like that.”
Hodgins ran his fingers through Zack's hair and cupped the back of his head. He drew Zack's face to his, allowing his eyes to slip closed just before their lips touched. Zack's lips were dry and a little chapped, but warm and surprisingly soft. The kiss was close mouthed and over far too soon.
Hodgins opened his eyes to see Zack staring back at him, grinning.
“That was very nice, Hodgins.”
“Just nice, huh? Let me see what I can do to upgrade that to phenomenal.” He leaned in for another kiss, only to have Zack pull back.
“You need to take your pain pills first, and then we're going to bed.”
“Hey, I like the sound of that.”
“We're going to bed to sleep, and only sleep. Neither of us is in any condition to do anything else. I would, however, like to hold you tonight. I came much too close to losing you, and I need the reassurance of having you near me.”
Hodgins felt tears come to his eyes, and he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. “I'd love that, Zack.”
Zack got to his feet and helped Hodgins off the couch. Hodgins arranged his crutches and slowly followed Zack to his bedroom. He sat on the bed while Zack got water from the bathroom for him to take his pills. He removed his shirt and socks, deciding to sleep in his sweatpants. Zack came back into the bedroom and handed Hodgins his medicine. He swallowed the pills and made himself comfortable in the bed while he watched Zack get ready to sleep. Zack pulled his shirt over his head and removed his work pants, dressing in a worn pair of pajama pants and a white undershirt. He slipped into bed beside Hodgins and moved close, placing his arm across Hodgins' waist and breathing in the slightly medicinal smell that clung to Hodgins' skin. Lips grazed his hair as Hodgins kissed the top of his head, and Zack tilted his head up to kiss him gently.
“Goodnight, Jack. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Hodgins' pulled the younger man a bit closer and closed his eyes, silently thanking whoever might be listening for the chance to hold the man he loved. His breathing quickly evened out and deepened as sleep claimed him, and Zack let himself relax and fall asleep.
The next morning would bring questions for both of them, but they would face them together.
THE END
Author: cwgirlup75
Rating: T
Pairing: Zack/Hodgins
Spoilers: 'Aliens in a Spaceship'
Summary: Hodgins realizes who he really wants.
Disclaimer: Remember that episode where Angela walked in on the boys having sex in Cam's office? No? Hmmm - guess I don't own Bones.
Reviews are my crack. Please feed my habit :)
The Aftermath
Jack Hodgins sat at his workstation, peering through gritty eyes at the bits of toll pass that Dr. Brennan had removed from his jeans. It was 1:00 in the morning, and his leg was throbbing, but he didn't want to go home. If he were completely honest with himself, he couldn't bring himself to go home.
“There you are.”
He looked up to see Angela standing over him, a worried look on her face.
“Zack and I went to the hospital to visit you.”
“Yeah, they....uh....they let me go.”
“No, they didn't. You left against medical advice and stole crutches that I ended up paying for.”
“Look, Angela, I'm fine. They stitched me up and gave me a whole goody bag full of medication. Don't worry about me.”
“Sweetie, you need to go home. Whatever you're working on can wait.”
Hodgins looked at her in frustration. “Actually, it can't. Whoever did this is still out there, just waiting to bury someone else alive. That person might not be as lucky as we were. If I can just piece enough of this together, it might help us somehow.”
Angela put a hand on his shoulder. “You were buried alive, operated on, and almost blown up. You need to sleep.”
He looked down at the desk, a tear making its way down his cheek. He sighed and looked back at her. “I can't sleep, Angela. I couldn't sleep in the hospital either. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that car. I just can't handle the thought of being in that big house alone.”
Angela was silent for a minute, thinking about what he had said. “Well, what if I went home with you? That way you wouldn't be alone and then maybe you could sleep.”
Hodgins closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He had hoped to avoid this particular conversation for a few days, but apparently that wasn't going to happen.
“I appreciate the offer, Angela, but I don't want you to come home with me.”
Angela frowned a little. “Well, you just said that you don't want to be alone.”
“I don't want to be alone, but you're not the one I want with me.” Angela looked confused and a little hurt, and Hodgins cursed to himself. This reaction was exactly why he had wanted to wait on this.
“Look, Angela, I don't mean to hurt you. I know I've been flirting with you lately, but....well, I did a lot of thinking when I was in that car. I mean, there was a good chance we were going to die in there. We had no way of knowing if our message got out, we didn't know how far down we were buried, and we were running out of air. Things like that tend to make you really think about life and what you want out of it. I realized that all of the things I want - someone to love, someone to make me whole - I already have. I just haven't let myself see it until now.”
Hodgins reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded, dirty piece of paper. He looked at it for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the creases, before handing it to Angela.
“Read this. It will explain things more clearly than I can.”
Dear Zack,
Hey, buddy. If you're reading this, I guess things didn't turn out too well for me. I know you all did your best to find us. Our message must not have gotten out after all, because I know you would have figured it out.
Anyway, I need you to do a few things for me. I need you to say goodbye to Cam and Angela for me. You're going to be the head guy in the team now, so look out for the girls (but don't tell them I said that). Booth will try to push you around, but don't let him. Just because he's older doesn't mean he's better than you.
Don't worry about a place to live. I changed my will last year and left the house and grounds to you. There is also a trust fund set up to pay the taxes and upkeep of the property.
Ok, I guess I just need to say this and stop rambling. I realized something in the past few hours that I need you to know. I love you, Zack. Not just as a friend either. I'm in love with you. Surprised, huh? Believe me, when it hit me, I was surprised too. You fill a place in my heart that I didn't know was empty. Yeah, I know how corny that sounds. But it's true. I just wish I had realized this when I had a chance to do something about it.
Well, I guess that's about it. Dr. Brennan has one last idea that she wants to try before our air runs out. If all goes well, I'll be able to tell you this in person. If not....well, remember what I said. I love you.
Jack
Angela re-folded the letter and handed it back to Hodgins with tears in her eyes. “Well, I can't say I saw that coming. I've never lost a guy to another guy before. I knew you and Zack were close, but I didn't think you felt.....that was beautiful, Jack. It truly was. I need you to promise me something. I want you to promise that you'll show Zack that note.”
“But I can tell him now, instead of just giving him a note.”
“Look, tell him too, but trust me when I say he needs to see that note. When you and Brennan were missing, Zack was......Hodgins, I've never seen him like that. He was hovering on the edge of a breakdown. I mean, his work was every bit as good as always, but there was something else there. I really can't even describe it, but he needs to know that you were thinking about him. So let me take you home, talk to Zack, and show him that note.”
Hodgins opened his mouth to argue, hesitated at the look in Angela's eyes, and nodded his head. He carefully put everything away before grabbing his crutches and hobbling outside. Angela helped him into the car and slid into the driver's seat, quickly shifting into gear and heading towards Hodgins estate.
Angela parked in the garage and helped him make his way up the stairs to Zack's apartment. She smiled at him at the top of the stairs and hugged him gently.
“This is it. I know everything will work out.”
“I'm suddenly really nervous, Angela.”
“Don't be. I have faith in you two. Just speak from your heart, and the rest will fall into place.”
Hodgins watched as Angela descended the stairs and backed out of the garage. As the sound of her engine faded, he knocked on Zack's door and cleared his throat.
Zack pulled the door open and his eyes widened in surprise. “Hodgins - why are....I mean, I thought...Angela said she was going to, quote 'pull him out of work and make him go home'. I thought you would be resting by now.”
“Well, technically she did bring me home. I just...really wanted to see you, Zack. Can I come in?”
“Oh, yes come in! You should be sitting with that leg propped up.” Zack helped Hodgins' hop over to the couch and got him settled. He grabbed a couple of throw pillows off the chair and put them under Hodgins' injured leg. “Have you taken any of your pain pills?”
“No, I haven't taken them yet. They knock me out, and I want to talk to you. Here, come sit next to me.”
Zack sat on the couch gingerly, afraid that too much movement would cause more pain in Hodgins' leg. Hodgins took a good look at him and for the first time noticed his friend's red rimmed eyes and exhausted demeanor. He took one of Zack's hands and stroked the knuckles with his thumb as he tried to collect his thoughts.
“You know, your hands are really soft, Zack.”
Zack gave Hodgins a look of complete confusion. “Thank you, Hodgins.” When Hodgins continued to silently run his thumb over the back of Zack's hands and showed no signs of talking, Zack spoke again. “As glad as I am that you're here, I can't imagine that you came just to tell me that my hands are soft.”
Hodgins sighed. “You're right. I just can't seem to figure out how to say what I want to say. You're the best friend I've ever had, Zack, and there's a very good chance that our friendship is going to be blown to hell when you hear what I have to say.”
“Well, if it helps, I can assure you that I would never end our friendship, no matter what you may say or do.”
Hodgins' nerves returned with a vengeance, and only his injured leg kept him from jumping up and pacing the room as he spoke. “Here goes. When I was in that car, I had a lot of time to think. For the first time in my life, I was facing the very real possibility that I was going to die. I realized some things about myself that I was doing my best to hide, even from myself.” He pulled the note out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Zack. “Read this. Please. It will tell you everything you need to know.”
Zack took the note and scanned it silently. He read it through twice before re-folding it and looking at Hodgins.
“You love me?”
“Yeah, Zack, I do. And I totally understand that you probably don't feel the same way, and that's ok. I just hope things don't get all weird between us. I mean, I would never try to make a move on you or whatever, so I hope you don't feel uncomfortable around me now. People can't help how they feel, right?” The more anxious Hodgins' became, the faster he talked, and the last several words came out in a rush.
Zack laid on hand on Hodgins' thigh. The simple touch seemed to calm the babbling entomologist, who quieted and looked at Zack, waiting for his reaction.
“I love you too, Jack.”
“Ok, well like I said that's.....wait, what? Did you call me Jack?”
I tell you that I love you and all you focus on is that I called you by your first name?”
“Well, no....I mean.....I just never expected this reaction.”
“I've been in love with you for a long time, Hodgins. There was a time, shortly after I came to the Jeffersonian, that I thought perhaps you felt the same way. Then you started flirting with Angela and the two of you seemed to be getting closer, so I decided that I must have been wrong. It's good to know that my initial assessment was correct.”
Hodgins smiled. “So am I.” He reached out and ran his fingertips down Zack's cheek. “Can I kiss you, Zack?”
“I think I would like that.”
Hodgins ran his fingers through Zack's hair and cupped the back of his head. He drew Zack's face to his, allowing his eyes to slip closed just before their lips touched. Zack's lips were dry and a little chapped, but warm and surprisingly soft. The kiss was close mouthed and over far too soon.
Hodgins opened his eyes to see Zack staring back at him, grinning.
“That was very nice, Hodgins.”
“Just nice, huh? Let me see what I can do to upgrade that to phenomenal.” He leaned in for another kiss, only to have Zack pull back.
“You need to take your pain pills first, and then we're going to bed.”
“Hey, I like the sound of that.”
“We're going to bed to sleep, and only sleep. Neither of us is in any condition to do anything else. I would, however, like to hold you tonight. I came much too close to losing you, and I need the reassurance of having you near me.”
Hodgins felt tears come to his eyes, and he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. “I'd love that, Zack.”
Zack got to his feet and helped Hodgins off the couch. Hodgins arranged his crutches and slowly followed Zack to his bedroom. He sat on the bed while Zack got water from the bathroom for him to take his pills. He removed his shirt and socks, deciding to sleep in his sweatpants. Zack came back into the bedroom and handed Hodgins his medicine. He swallowed the pills and made himself comfortable in the bed while he watched Zack get ready to sleep. Zack pulled his shirt over his head and removed his work pants, dressing in a worn pair of pajama pants and a white undershirt. He slipped into bed beside Hodgins and moved close, placing his arm across Hodgins' waist and breathing in the slightly medicinal smell that clung to Hodgins' skin. Lips grazed his hair as Hodgins kissed the top of his head, and Zack tilted his head up to kiss him gently.
“Goodnight, Jack. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Hodgins' pulled the younger man a bit closer and closed his eyes, silently thanking whoever might be listening for the chance to hold the man he loved. His breathing quickly evened out and deepened as sleep claimed him, and Zack let himself relax and fall asleep.
The next morning would bring questions for both of them, but they would face them together.
THE END