Chaos - Order
In such a chaotic world it's rare to find something of such beauty as a completely unplanned order. The house I live in has achieved an odd sort of order, things happen in time as they become important.
What I mean is, there are no written rules, nor is there a chore chart or house meetings. Yet the kitchen hasn't descended into absolute chaos and the living room is only moderately messy; a huge success for a house with 7-10 people living in it.
I attribute this success to two things: (un)spoken negotiations and idiosyncratic anality.
(Un)spoken Negotiations:
In many social structures even if there aren't written rules there are still rules, sometimes these rules are more accurate than the rules that are written; this has been the house's method. When something becomes a problem we either just deal with it or talk it out with whatever members of the house are in the room at the time and find a suitable resolution (or abandon the whole thing after logic sets in).
After the conversation takes place the house gains a new piece of the puzzle that depicts complete housemate harmony, we may not ever tell everyone in the house what took place in the conversation but somehow it circulates anyways.
This all leads to a sort of bizarre invisible structure that I'm incredibly proud to be taking part in.
Idiosyncratic Anality:
One can imagine that people don't like doing chores that they don't care about but what if they were free to do whatever chores they personally found to be important? Would they simply not do chores at all or would they be more inclined to do this chore more often than they otherwise would simply because they don't mind this chore as much as another (or alternatively they find it more important).
Everybody has something that they're really anal about, some task or chore with real incentive to rectify; can we assume that if something doesn't get done nobody really cares enough to do it?
Behind all this is the attitude of just doing what is necessary for happiness. By just doing a task that inhibits our happiness without complaining or thinking about it we help ourselves and help those around us. Not only can we now complete the task for which we set out, in addition those behind us are relieved by the selfless task completion and appreciate it much more because it's not a duty, it's kindness.
Balance of Sums:
There is a hidden assumption here that should be stated. David deserves the credit for this: most things will even out in the end.
Often I buy food and come back to find it already eaten, so I eat something else, perhaps it's mine, perhaps not.
Often I'll clean the livingroom only to leave 6 differant glasses on the counter in the kitchen.
For every positive task we do for the house we most likely do a negative as well, we may not even realize it. By randomly doing tasks around the house that one actually enjoys they build up chore karma, for every positive task completed a negative task is forgiven.
Chore Charts:
I hate chore charts, they stress me out a lot because I'm forced to do things I don't care about in a time schedule that may or may not work for me. They also lock in the chores that can be done and give people an excuse to not take part in helping the house. Finally it sets up a bad motivation to do any task.
I have a weird schedule, most of the time chore charts cannot work in my schedule and I always suffer. Most of the time I end up paying fines for being late simply because I don't have time or energy to do a task as ambiguous as "The Kitchen" which could be as easy as doing some dishes or could be a 4 hours excursion.
Chore charts force me to do things I hate doing every week. Everytime I look at a chore chart I wince at the realization that I have to do another miserable thing this week. Yet there are some chores that I actually enjoy, and this seems to be the case with everyone.
Furthermore chore charts imprison the doable tasks, I'm definitely not going to wash the windows or organize the livingroom if I'm busy doing a task I dislike. Certainly I'm not going to do twice the chores of everyone in the house!
But worse than that it gives me an excuse to not do things that I know someone else is supposed to do later in the week. This is the case with every chore chart I've ever had the displeasure of taking part in. If someone is assigned to do the dishes later in the week I'm definitely not going to do them. This may not be a problem in concept but when you add in that people have a tendency to not do their chores at whatever cost you have a problem.
People are infinitely capable of rationalizing things, this includes why they couldn't do their chore this week. What we end up with though is a trash can that hasn't been out in 3 weeks because we keep forgetting and dishes that haven't been washed in a similar time because it's someone else's chore.
Finally you have a merits of a chore that people really appreciate versus a chore that you're required to do (and thusly your task is taken for granted) and feel shame about later on. Appreciation and love or underappreciated and guilty, which will spawn happy people and lots of chore doing.
As an added bonus it singles out one person to blame in case of failure. When nobody is required to do a chore we cannot blame them for not doing it, we must blame the whole house for being dysfunctional which includes ourselves. What good can possibly come of pointing the finger at one person or another? Think about the number of household fights that start this way.
Perhaps the best example in my life is mowing the lawn every Saturday. It was hard work and I couldn't for the life of me see the point. My parents didn't really appreciate it because it was my job. Furthermore I couldn't go out until it was done.
Now, had my father come to me and asked if I would help with the lawn we would get the best of both worlds. I would feel the appreciation of my help, he would get the lawn done faster, and I would work less and go out sooner.
There is a positive and a negative way to do anything, the vast majority of the world chooses the negative way because it's easy and intuitive. My quest in life is to hopefully shed some like on these tactics and free people from their unhappy little lives.
What I mean is, there are no written rules, nor is there a chore chart or house meetings. Yet the kitchen hasn't descended into absolute chaos and the living room is only moderately messy; a huge success for a house with 7-10 people living in it.
I attribute this success to two things: (un)spoken negotiations and idiosyncratic anality.
(Un)spoken Negotiations:
In many social structures even if there aren't written rules there are still rules, sometimes these rules are more accurate than the rules that are written; this has been the house's method. When something becomes a problem we either just deal with it or talk it out with whatever members of the house are in the room at the time and find a suitable resolution (or abandon the whole thing after logic sets in).
After the conversation takes place the house gains a new piece of the puzzle that depicts complete housemate harmony, we may not ever tell everyone in the house what took place in the conversation but somehow it circulates anyways.
This all leads to a sort of bizarre invisible structure that I'm incredibly proud to be taking part in.
Idiosyncratic Anality:
One can imagine that people don't like doing chores that they don't care about but what if they were free to do whatever chores they personally found to be important? Would they simply not do chores at all or would they be more inclined to do this chore more often than they otherwise would simply because they don't mind this chore as much as another (or alternatively they find it more important).
Everybody has something that they're really anal about, some task or chore with real incentive to rectify; can we assume that if something doesn't get done nobody really cares enough to do it?
Behind all this is the attitude of just doing what is necessary for happiness. By just doing a task that inhibits our happiness without complaining or thinking about it we help ourselves and help those around us. Not only can we now complete the task for which we set out, in addition those behind us are relieved by the selfless task completion and appreciate it much more because it's not a duty, it's kindness.
Balance of Sums:
There is a hidden assumption here that should be stated. David deserves the credit for this: most things will even out in the end.
Often I buy food and come back to find it already eaten, so I eat something else, perhaps it's mine, perhaps not.
Often I'll clean the livingroom only to leave 6 differant glasses on the counter in the kitchen.
For every positive task we do for the house we most likely do a negative as well, we may not even realize it. By randomly doing tasks around the house that one actually enjoys they build up chore karma, for every positive task completed a negative task is forgiven.
Chore Charts:
I hate chore charts, they stress me out a lot because I'm forced to do things I don't care about in a time schedule that may or may not work for me. They also lock in the chores that can be done and give people an excuse to not take part in helping the house. Finally it sets up a bad motivation to do any task.
I have a weird schedule, most of the time chore charts cannot work in my schedule and I always suffer. Most of the time I end up paying fines for being late simply because I don't have time or energy to do a task as ambiguous as "The Kitchen" which could be as easy as doing some dishes or could be a 4 hours excursion.
Chore charts force me to do things I hate doing every week. Everytime I look at a chore chart I wince at the realization that I have to do another miserable thing this week. Yet there are some chores that I actually enjoy, and this seems to be the case with everyone.
Furthermore chore charts imprison the doable tasks, I'm definitely not going to wash the windows or organize the livingroom if I'm busy doing a task I dislike. Certainly I'm not going to do twice the chores of everyone in the house!
But worse than that it gives me an excuse to not do things that I know someone else is supposed to do later in the week. This is the case with every chore chart I've ever had the displeasure of taking part in. If someone is assigned to do the dishes later in the week I'm definitely not going to do them. This may not be a problem in concept but when you add in that people have a tendency to not do their chores at whatever cost you have a problem.
People are infinitely capable of rationalizing things, this includes why they couldn't do their chore this week. What we end up with though is a trash can that hasn't been out in 3 weeks because we keep forgetting and dishes that haven't been washed in a similar time because it's someone else's chore.
Finally you have a merits of a chore that people really appreciate versus a chore that you're required to do (and thusly your task is taken for granted) and feel shame about later on. Appreciation and love or underappreciated and guilty, which will spawn happy people and lots of chore doing.
As an added bonus it singles out one person to blame in case of failure. When nobody is required to do a chore we cannot blame them for not doing it, we must blame the whole house for being dysfunctional which includes ourselves. What good can possibly come of pointing the finger at one person or another? Think about the number of household fights that start this way.
Perhaps the best example in my life is mowing the lawn every Saturday. It was hard work and I couldn't for the life of me see the point. My parents didn't really appreciate it because it was my job. Furthermore I couldn't go out until it was done.
Now, had my father come to me and asked if I would help with the lawn we would get the best of both worlds. I would feel the appreciation of my help, he would get the lawn done faster, and I would work less and go out sooner.
There is a positive and a negative way to do anything, the vast majority of the world chooses the negative way because it's easy and intuitive. My quest in life is to hopefully shed some like on these tactics and free people from their unhappy little lives.