(no subject)
sometimes i stop and think, and i know that if a heaven existed for me, it would just be spending forever with gavin and finn. i love our life, as mundane and quiet as it is.
one lifetime is just not enough. i hate to think about it, because it almost gives me hives to consider that in the grand scheme of things, the time i have on this planet is the smallest blip. i wish i could find a way to live forever, so i could spend eons just being with my boys.
finn was having trouble going to sleep tonight, so i went and got him and snuggled into the chair with him. he's getting so heavy, but i don't mind. i was holding him close, and then suddenly i was just IN the moment. it struck me that when he is a teenager, i'll think back to that exact moment - his little heart beating against mine, his breath whispering close to my ear and his downy hair tickling my face. i'll miss being able to hold him like that, just completely in tune. one day when i'm old and gray and my time on this planet is dwindling, those are the moments i'll always remember, just tiny little seconds that turn out to mean so much to me. i wish i could be in the moment more, just completely involved in what's happening RIGHT NOW, but i guess that would get pretty exhausting.
i'm just so lucky. i'm so thankful for what i have.
one lifetime is just not enough. i hate to think about it, because it almost gives me hives to consider that in the grand scheme of things, the time i have on this planet is the smallest blip. i wish i could find a way to live forever, so i could spend eons just being with my boys.
finn was having trouble going to sleep tonight, so i went and got him and snuggled into the chair with him. he's getting so heavy, but i don't mind. i was holding him close, and then suddenly i was just IN the moment. it struck me that when he is a teenager, i'll think back to that exact moment - his little heart beating against mine, his breath whispering close to my ear and his downy hair tickling my face. i'll miss being able to hold him like that, just completely in tune. one day when i'm old and gray and my time on this planet is dwindling, those are the moments i'll always remember, just tiny little seconds that turn out to mean so much to me. i wish i could be in the moment more, just completely involved in what's happening RIGHT NOW, but i guess that would get pretty exhausting.
i'm just so lucky. i'm so thankful for what i have.