Fanfiction || One Hundred || "First Meeting" || Buffy/Faith
Title: One Hundred
Prompt: First Meeting
Table: Here.
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta: Frass
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length: 8,821 words
Summary: Buffy knew this wouldn't go over well, but she was running out of options.
006. First Meeting
“God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“This blows,” Faith muttered, folding her arms across her chest as she slumped a little further into her chair, like she didn’t want anyone to recognize her. Not that anyone would, Buffy doubted any of Faith’s numerous lovers had enough merit to actually try to change the things that were screwing up their lives; they weren’t exactly decent people.
“Just give it a chance,” Buffy requested softly, looking over at the younger Slayer. She looked really uncomfortable with this whole ordeal but then again, it wasn’t like she was here by choice.
Buffy understood why Faith let herself go this badly; after witnessing her first serious boyfriend get ripped to shreds by vampires three months ago, it was no surprise that she was having problems dealing. Anyone would. The drinking was expected, as was the depression. They gave her space, hoping that it was just her way of dealing with the loss and that it would lessen as time went on. But it didn’t lessen; it only got so much worse. When Buffy found her one morning in her room buck naked, completely passed out while the two guys she brought back the night before continued to have their way with her, it was the last straw. She beat the hell out of the two guys for practically raping Faith in her sleep and then threw them out of the castle, telling them if she ever saw them on her property again she’d kill them.
Needless to say, an intervention was held the following day.
Faith didn’t take it well, but that was expected. She swore a lot and told them it was none of their business what she did. And maybe it wasn’t, but when she brought that kind of shit into their home, it became their business. They had young, impressionable slayers running around the castle and the last thing they needed was to see one of the original slayers drinking herself into an early grave. Faith was supposed to be a role model and while Buffy used to not have much faith in that ever actually happening in her lifetime, for a little while she really was one. She was good with the girls, great with training, and was always on board. But now? Now she was sinking into this deep depression that no one could seem to get her out of. She was irritable, angry, and seemed to hate everyone and everything around her.
Today was no different. She was looking at everyone in this AA meeting like she wanted to skin them alive.
“Alcoholics Anonymous is a group of men and women who share their experiences, strength, and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism,” the leader of the group started. She was quite homely looking; like the kind of Mom that would bake cookies for their kids after school. It was kind of unnerving for Buffy to see the realism in addiction; that it can really affect anyone, not just people who looked like they grew up on the streets.
Not that Buffy was stereotyping Faith or anything.
“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking,” she went on, addressing the small group of people gathered in the room. “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.”
“Pfft, good luck with that,” Faith mumbled under her breath, sounding like an immature child as she idly picked at her nails. Buffy smacked the side of her thigh hard, silently telling her to shut up. She was being incredibly rude. Buffy understood she didn’t want to be here, but she didn’t have to say things like that. What if one of the other alcoholics heard her, decided her doubt was justifiable, and then tomorrow drinks himself an entire keg of beer and falls asleep on the train tracks? Said hypothetical man could die tomorrow due to a speeding train with bad breaks and it’d all be Faith’s fault!
Not that Faith thought about things like that. Sometimes Buffy wondered how Faith could see; what with her head stuck so far up her own ass most days.
She couldn’t see how much her problem was affecting everyone else. Maybe she didn’t want to see. She was too wrapped up in her own head, sitting under her own dark cloud, to notice that the people that lov- well, cared about her, were worried. Faith only cared about how she felt and how to achieve the feeling she thought she needed. She often mistook pleasure for happiness. Even after all these years, she still had yet to realize the difference.
“What the-“ Faith started, intending to bitch about just getting smacked. But she got interrupted when Buffy pinched her thigh hard. “Ow!” Faith hissed. She rubbed the offended area, glaring at her like she hoped her gaze would prompt Buffy to burst into flames.
“Don’t swear,” Buffy whispered, shooting her a look of warning. They were in a church, for God’s sake. Buffy may not be religious, but she does know how to have a little respect.
“Was gonna say ‘what the hell,’ you abusive bitch,” Faith sneered softly, trying not to get everyone’s attention from their little quarrel.
Oh, right. Faith grew up Catholic. Guess she did have a little respect buried somewhere down there. Then again, in a church, is ‘hell’ really better than ‘fuck’?
Faith’s insult rolled off of her easily; it wasn’t like that was the first time Buffy’s ever heard them in her life. Granted, she hadn’t heard them for awhile and that was… actually really nice, but the forced sobriety seemed to have kicked Faith into one hell of bitchy mood, especially because Buffy was her designated babysitter. It wasn’t exactly a task that the elder slayer wanted, but even she had to admit that the chances of her stopping Faith from drinking were far higher than anyone else’s; though mostly because she had the physical qualifications to literally stop her if need be.
Faith complained that they were treating her like a child; that “she wasn’t anyone’s goddamn responsibility.” But when it came to the point where she could no longer care for herself, she kind of forfeited the right to be the one to make her own decisions. Because honestly, the kind of decisions Faith had been making lately… scared Buffy. Faith was dancing with death most days and Buffy really didn’t want to hold a funeral anytime soon. So she watched her. She followed her. At first Buffy was trying to be sneaky about it, but Faith caught onto the game far too quickly and that brought on a shouting match that lasted a little over two and a half hours.
“’Abusive’ is pushing it,” Buffy whispered back. She smacked her leg and then pinched her; for their standards, that was a hug.
“I see we have some newcomers,” the leader announced, looking at the two of them pointedly. Buffy felt her cheeks color in embarrassment; she had heard them. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”
Some random man stood up immediately. “Hi! I’m Kyle, and I am an alcoholic.” He looked far too pleased with that statement, like he was overly excited to be there. A chorus of “Hi, Kyle’s” filled Buffy’s ears and okay, even she has to admit that was a little creepy; they were all in unison.
The leader then looked to the two of them and Buffy smacked Faith’s thigh again, encouraging her to stand up. Faith scowled, clearly not wanting to take part, but she eventually stood up and said, “I’m Faith.” There was a long pause that followed that before she finished with a slight mock in her tone, “And I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hi, Faith,” the whole room said. Faith looked completely weirded out by twenty people saying her name at the exact same time and she flopped back down in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. Then the leader looked to Buffy.
“Oh, I’m not a…” Buffy started, feeling a little embarrassed. “I, uh… I’m just moral support girl,” she explained, voice quiet as she realized that she may not even be welcome in this meeting if she’s not hooked on the booze. “For her,” she finished, nodding her head towards Faith like that wasn’t already obvious to everyone around them. But she felt the need to explain her presence there. Faith, however, didn’t help her cause much since she outright snorted at that.
Thankfully though, she wasn’t kicked out. After an hour of listening to the guest speaker talk about their addiction and how it ruined his life, the meeting disbanded and everyone went for the coffee and donuts. Well, all except Faith, who stormed out the church doors. Buffy sighed heavily, following her. She really wanted to eat, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. It was sad too; that strawberry donut was calling to her like a long lost lover.
Buffy can’t even remember the last time she was able to eat donuts. Every time they brought some in the house they were devoured by the Slayer Brigade before Buffy could even get near the damn box. Regardless of her pastry woes though, Buffy exited the church to find Faith sitting on the stone wall, lighting up a cigarette. Her aggravation was coming off of her in waves so Buffy took a little more caution when approaching her.
Buffy sat next to her on the wall, though kept a respectable distance. Silence washed between them for a moment as Buffy gave her a second to adjust to her presence. After a little while she asked, “So, how did you like it?”
“Shit’s a fuckin’ joke,” Faith replied flatly, taking another long pull off of her cigarette. When she exhaled, the smoke curled around her lips seductively for a moment before she let her breath out faster, turning it into one long stream. Buffy found herself staring before she could stop herself.
She knew that shouldn’t be sexy - smoking is disgusting after all - but Faith always did have an irritating way of making anything look hot.
Not that that was significant to the way Buffy looked at her; Faith being hot was a fact, not an opinion.
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Buffy replied sardonically, “because you’ll be here again Thursday.” Faith turned to look at her, another glare plastered on her features like she actually expected Buffy to be intimidated.
“No I won’t.”
“Yes, you will,” Buffy replied firmly, not about to take any crap about this. “You will be going to these meetings twice a week even if I have to hog tie you and drag you here myself.”
“What the fuck is the point, B?” Faith exclaimed, flicking the ash off the end of her cigarette violently; a little too violently, since she ended up breaking the thing in half. She threw it on the ground in annoyance. “No stupid meeting is gonna make things better,” she told her as she dug around in her pocket for her pack of smokes. “No stupid meeting is gonna make him come back. No stupid fucking meeting where I have to sit there, listening to other people ramble on about their problems, is going to make me feel better about mine!”
“Well what do you want; therapy?” Buffy asked, sounding a little perplexed. She was so far out of her element here. “Because we could get you therapy, if that’s what you wanted. Giles-”
Faith laughed bitterly. “Yeah, cause that’s the thing I need, right? Tell some bitch with a clipboard my boyfriend got ripped to shreds by vamps and that’s why I’m so fucked up about everything. You know what would happen? One way ticket to the crazy house, baby.” She pulled another cigarette out of her pack, placing it between her painted lips before lighting it up.
“If you had let me finish my sentence,” Buffy started, trying to stay calm so they didn’t end up getting into another one of their famous shouting matches, “I would have told you that Giles already has a therapist that’s dealing with the Slayers; you really didn’t think those girls came without problems of their own, did you?”
Faith stayed silent, staring out at the street as she continued to pull long drags off of her cigarette. Buffy sighed.
“All I’m saying is that if you need someone to talk to, we have someone. Someone you can tell everything to that isn’t going to put you in a mental hospital because you fight vampires.”
“Ain’t talkin’ to a stranger,” Faith told her flatly, eyes still trained in front of her.
“Well then talk to me,” Buffy pleaded gently. That finally made Faith look at her. She looked halfway between amused and disbelieving.
“You?” she asked, like the concept of them ever exchanging meaningful words was ridiculous. And maybe it was, maybe they never had a real conversation per say, but that didn’t mean it had to stay that way.
“Why not?” Buffy asked, shrugging. “I’ve known you… a decently long time, and I do have ears.” As far as reasons go, she knew that wasn’t exactly top notch, but Buffy didn’t really have many others besides that. They weren’t friends; if anything they were just… coworkers and roommates.
“Pretty sure people don’t talk to someone just cause they got ears,” Faith replied, looking a little amused as she took another drag of her cigarette.
“And I know you!” Buffy protested, a little miffed she actually left off the important part of her ridiculous argument.
When Faith spoke, smoke wrapped around every word as she exhaled, “You don’t know me, B.” It wasn’t defensive and it wasn’t accusing; it just was what it was. Buffy would like to pretend that Faith was wrong, but the sad fact was… she wasn’t. Buffy’s known Faith for six years and yet they never really knew much about each other. They kind of always kept their distance when it came to each other’s personal lives.
But here Buffy was now; smack dab in the middle of Faith’s personal life and personal problem.
“Well, I’m still offering,” Buffy told her seriously, shifting her position on the wall so she could better face her. She watched Faith flick her cigarette into the street and let out a small sigh.
“Thanks, but… not really lookin’ for a shoulder to cry on.”
Well, Buffy certainly wasn’t expecting to feel as rejected as she just did. “Oh,” she responded, knowing her face fell. She immediately attempted to rearrange it into a more neutral position and shrugged, like it wasn’t really important either way. “Well you don’t have to cry…” she attempted, knowing she was pushing the matter.
“Said no, B.”
“Okay,” Buffy consented, clasping her hands in her lap and looking out at the passing cars. She felt at such a loss about what to do. The meeting didn’t seem to open Faith’s eyes any and it’s not like if they stuck her into rehab that they could contain a Slayer if she wanted to get out. Apart from ridding the castle of any and all alcohol and keeping an eye on her twenty four seven, there wasn’t much else that Buffy could think to do.
Faith resented being watched like an out of control toddler though.
“We done here?” Faith asked suddenly, shaking Buffy from her thoughts. The blonde raised her eyebrows as she watched Faith slide from the wall, her sneakers landing on the cement softly. She started walking away, apparently not even waiting for an answer.
“Yeah,” Buffy sighed, pulling herself off the wall to follow. “I guess we’re done here.”
* * *
“I told you to watch them!” Buffy shouted, holding a bottle of rum in her hands and waving it around erratically. She just plucked that out of the hands of a group of young slayers in the basement and she was not happy. “You know we can’t have this in the castle right now! I can’t watch them and Faith at the same time; that’s why I appointed the task to you!”
“I’m sorry, Toumoku,” Satsu apologized, looking crestfallen from being lectured, especially by Buffy. “But the girls are restless; they need to slay. Being deprived of their natural instinct is making them become… unmanageable.”
Understatement. They’ve been rowdy all day and Xander’s starting to get pissed off with how much crap they were breaking as they sparred with each other all over the castle.
“You know I can’t go out right now,” Buffy replied shortly, hating being put in this position. She rubbed her forehead to calm her oncoming headache. “Can’t you take them?”
“I would love to, but there are too many for me to watch on my own.”
“Take Willow and Kennedy with you,” Buffy told her. “They’ll be able to provide you enough back up.” She looked down at the bottle in her hand and turned up her nose, never being one to really enjoy a lot of alcohol. Give her something fruity with an umbrella in it and she’s sold, but something straight and hard? No thank you. “And get rid of this, please,” she requested, holding it out to Satsu. The girl took it from her.
“I’ll go round everyone up,” Satsu told her, giving her a short, polite bow before she turned, hurrying off in the other direction.
“I told you, you don’t have to-” Buffy started, but Satsu had already rounded the corner. “Bow,” she finished softly, dragging her fingers through her hair and sighing. Ever since they broke up, Satsu had been overcompensating with being obnoxiously respectful towards her. At least that was when they were actually ever around one another, which seemed to be a rarity; Satsu would always find some excuse not to be in close proximity to her.
It killed Buffy to know she broke her heart, but she knew it would be worse if she continued to stay with her when she wasn’t the one she wanted.
Not that Buffy had a specific someone in mind, but still; she knew Satsu wasn’t it. That was enough for her to know she shouldn’t be doing it.
Buffy let out a heavy breath and made her way back to Faith’s room, needing to check on her. She had already left her alone for far too long. The sun had almost completely set now and Buffy could feel the Slayer inside of her being pulled towards the darkness, wanting to hunt. Faith would be no different. While Buffy had learned to control the instinct over the years, Faith hadn’t. She became just as restless as the younger slayers downstairs; always itching to either slay or fuck when the sun went down.
Buffy rapped her knuckle lightly against the brunette’s door, hoping for an open invitation but knowing she won’t get one. In fact, she didn’t get any answer at all. She was ignored.
Buffy opened the door slowly, making sure Faith was actually still in her room, but breathed a sigh of relief once she saw the younger girl sitting cross-legged on her bed. “Y’know, privacy isn’t just a concept,” Faith told her flatly, staring down at a comic book that was laid out on her bed.
“I know, but… I needed to check on you,” Buffy told her, feeling a little guilty for invading Faith’s privacy all the time. But it isn’t like Faith left her with any other choice. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Not havin’ the urge to throw myself off a bridge, if that’s what you mean,” Faith answered sardonically as she idly flipped the page. She was trying to appear casual, but she was anything but. Buffy could see how tense her muscles were, how her hand shook just slightly as she gripped the paper between her fingers.
“Well that’s a start,” Buffy replied, looking her over. Faith still had not given her a glance; like Buffy was deemed unimportant at the moment. “Can I come in?”
“You’re going to whether I say you can or not, so sure,” Faith answered, still heavy with the mocking in her voice. She was not happy with this; that much was clear. But Buffy took the invitation at face value and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.
“You’re restless,” she pointed out, noticing Faith was having a hard time concentrating on the comic in front of her.
“And you state the obvious.”
Buffy sighed. She knew Faith wouldn’t be easy to deal with, especially at this time of night. The girl wanted to go out; Buffy noticed each time her eyes would shift to the window, a longing expression on her face. But what could she do? She didn’t trust Faith enough not to run off and go get hammered in some sleazy bar somewhere.
“I’m sorry,” Buffy apologized, which actually made Faith look up at her finally. “I know this is hard for you. But there are other options than going out, you know; if you’re that… wound up.”
Faith cocked an eyebrow at her, “You offerin’?”
“What? No!” Buffy replied quickly, her cheeks turning a light rosy hue as she realized the implication Faith’s words. “A big resounding no to that, thank you. I just meant… we have other Slayers in the house; you have to have noticed the way some of them look at you.” This conversation was definitely a weird one to be having, but if it would calm Faith down a little and take her mind off of alcohol, it kind of needed to be had.
“Yeah, well,” Faith started, shifting on the bed so she was now situated against the wall, legs straight out in front of her with one crossed over the other, “Ain’t really into the whole chick thing.”
Buffy was sure her brain just broke.
“What?” she asked, like Faith just told her she was going to be the next President of the United States. “But you… and the flirting!” she stumbled, not being able to wrap her mind around this concept. “Faith, you flirted with me relentlessly when we were teenagers.”
Faith smirked. “I just liked seein’ ya blush. Didn’t actually want in your pants or anything.” Buffy just blinked, staring at her like she was speaking German; she didn’t understand a word of it. “You disappointed?” Faith asked, sounding amused.
“No, I just…” Buffy started, trying to convince herself she actually wasn’t disappointed. In all honesty, Faith was the reason Buffy realized she was bisexual; all that flirting actually got to her. Not that she’ll ever tell Faith that though. She didn’t want her or anything now, but still; finding out your first crush on a girl was merely fun and games for said girl did tend to wound a person. “You, uh,” Buffy stumbled, but then just went with, “Never?” Her curiosity was far more dominant than her good sense at the moment.
Faith shrugged. “Tried it out in prison since it was my only option. It wasn’t like it was bad or anything, but it ain’t nothin’ like a man. Trust me; there’s no better feeling than a hard dick inside you, Princess.” She winked at Buffy, though the blonde didn’t blush. She was still looking at her like she didn’t understand how this conversation turned into, well, this. She had been so sure that Faith liked women.
“But, uh… I mean, it still… satisfied you, right?” Buffy asked, not seeing how it couldn’t. Then again, she was bisexual and Faith apparently… wasn’t.
Buffy hated how disappointed that actually made her. It was like the world she knew was suddenly backwards.
Faith smirked. “Ya know, B; you ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn’t have a personal interest in the matter.” That made Buffy flush, embarrassed that she was pressing Faith for details of her lesbian encounters.
“Sorry, it’s just hard to take in. I’ve always assumed… well, you know.”
“Ain’t like I’m entirely against it if I gotta get off bad enough,” Faith answered. “But when push comes to shove, rather have a dick buried inside of me than someone’s fingers.”
“Girls use sex toys, you know; it’s not all fingers,” Buffy defended, then flushed an even deeper crimson as she realized what just came out her mouth. “Oh god, forget I just said that.” Faith laughed at her expression; the first laugh she had heard since her boyfriend died. Buffy couldn’t help but smile shyly, secretly pleased she accomplished that. She had been feeling so useless lately about this whole situation; it was nice to know she didn’t entirely suck at it on some level.
“Somethin’ you ain’t tellin’ me, B? Sounds like you’re trying to convince me, here,” Faith pointed out, still chuckling from Buffy’s slip up.
“I’m not! I’m so not!” Buffy replied quickly, not wanting Faith to think that she’s trying to get her to sleep with her. She’s not. “And there’s nothing to tell of the… noteworthy variety.”
“Uh huh,” Faith replied, disbelievingly. She had this irritating little smirk on her face and it made Buffy narrow her eyes at her, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Don’t do that annoying thing you do; the cocky thing. I don’t want you or anything,” Buffy told her. “I was just trying to… suggest something; something that very much didn’t include me!”
Faith chucked. “Relax, B. Don’t want ya to bust a vein or anything. I was just fuckin’ with you.” Buffy noticeably relaxed at that.
“Oh,” she replied, a little sheepish.
“But you’re right,” Faith told her, making eye contact with her. The intensity of her gaze made Buffy flush again and back up a step. “I do need someone to fuck.” Or something to kill, but that wasn’t an option for her right now.
“Well, uh…” Buffy stammered, trying to think of a solution. “We don’t exactly have any guys in this house other than Xander, Giles, and Andrew and I don’t think-”
“Pretty sure I’d stab myself in the gut repeatedly before I screwed any of them,” Faith told her, a look of disgust crossing her face that made Buffy giggle. Yeah, that would be really weird. And with Giles it would just be… gross. Ew. That wouldn’t even begin to cover daddy issues.
“Yeah,” Buffy affirmed. She let out a breath, feeling useless again. “I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry; I know how hard this time of night is, trust me.”
“What about you?” Faith asked, cocking her head to the side as she assessed her.
“Me?”
“Yeah; you ain’t out with the brigade either. That mean you gonna take that little Asian chick for a little roll in the sack tonight?” Faith asked, completely catapulting the unspoken boundaries set between them. Then again, Buffy was the one that opened the damn door with the whole sex conversation.
“We… uh, we’re not…” she trailed off, finding this an odd thing to talk about with Faith, “doing that anymore,” Buffy finished awkwardly, shifting her weight between the balls of her feet. She licked her dry lips and stared at the floor for a second.
“No? Girl worships you, B; figured you’d be into that.”
Buffy ignored the implication behind that and replied, “She was looking for something I couldn’t give her.” It was a vague, yet truthful answer.
Faith cocked an eyebrow. “So what; you gonna go out slaying later?” she asked, apparently not seeing another option besides hunting and sex.
“No,” Buffy answered, leaning back against Faith’s closed door. “I learned to control my urges a long time ago; I’ll survive.”
Faith outright snorted at that. “You’re so full of shit.”
“Excuse you?”
“B, you know as well as I do that if you can’t hunt and you can’t fuck, every night you got your fingers buried in your pussy trying to find some way to get out the slayer’s excess energy,” Faith replied, looking at Buffy like her denying it would be stupid. Buffy flushed, but didn’t fully give into the embarrassment. She shouldn’t be embarrassed about that; a slayer’s sex drive was completely insane compared to a normal girl’s. Buffy couldn’t help that.
“That’s a part of controlling it, Faith,” she retorted, like she should know that. If she didn’t masturbate she’d have been just as promiscuous as the brunette was. “Maybe you should try it sometime instead of bringing home every guy you see.” She knew that was a little harsh, but it was the truth.
“Why; ya wanna watch?” Faith shot back with a suggestive tone, which finally makes Buffy stumble over her words and get really embarrassed, looking away from her.
“No! God, you-ugh, why do you do this?!” she spluttered, feeling mortified just from the mere suggestion; or rather, mortified by the slew of images that just assaulted her sanity as her brain seemed to have a little bit too much fun with that scenario.
“Because it’s fuckin’ funny,” Faith replied, smirking like she just won this round. And maybe she did, but Buffy wasn’t going to submit to her willingly.
“You’re intolerable, you know that?” Buffy snapped, annoyed that she got the better of her.
“So I’ve heard.”
Buffy chewed on the inside of her cheek, a look of annoyance plastered on her face. She came, she saw, she’s done. After a moment of silence Buffy nodded her head towards the door. “Look, I’m just gonna… go now; give you some privacy. But I’ll be back, so don’t… you know, leave and ruin my night by making me chase you all around town.”
“Because I wouldn’t want to ruin your night,” Faith responded flatly. Buffy sighed; clearly Faith’s two second good mood was over and done with. Buffy didn’t say anything in response; she just gave her a soft, encouraging smile before she slipped out the door, closing it behind her. She hoped this would be the beginning of Faith’s healing process, but she also knew better than to expect that nothing would go wrong.
* * *
There’s mad, there’s furious… and then there’s Buffy right now.
Finding Faith hiding in a closet with a bottle of tequila wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was when she didn’t find her alone. The two younger Slayers who were with her apparently thought they would win points with Faith by giving her what she really didn’t need and now have been getting screamed at by Buffy for the better part of the last half hour.
There wasn’t even a word for what Buffy was right now. Angry didn’t cover it. She had the urge to beat the living crap out of both of them just to teach them a lesson, but Satsu held her back, which, well, didn’t win any points for Satsu either. Buffy turned on her, screaming about how she was put in charge and once again she had let her down, which prompted tears to spring up in the younger girl’s eyes.
Logically, Buffy knew that Satsu being put in charge of forty girls was probably too much to handle; she couldn’t watch every single one of them all the time. But seeing Faith drunk again pushed Buffy over the edge. It had been two weeks; Faith had been sober for two whole weeks and now they’re back to square one again. It was devastating; Buffy thought that maybe she was finally getting through to her. Clearly she wasn’t.
“Every single one of the Slayers are grounded,” Buffy spat, mid tirade. “They aren’t to leave their dorm rooms or I swear to God-”
“You can’t ground us!” one the girls caught with Faith - Vanessa - exclaimed.
“I can and I will!” Buffy screamed. “You have no idea what you just did. This isn’t some stupid game, Vanessa! Faith is in serious trouble and if I can’t expect any of you to help then I’m damn sure not going to let you frolic around and make shit worse! If you all are going to act like children, then I’ll treat you like children!”
“Buffy, how do you expect to keep forty girls in their rooms?” Satsu asked, voice tiny; she’s afraid of bringing up something that was probably a valid question.
“I don’t know; I’ll have you all take shifts watching the hallways!” Buffy shouted, not really caring how the plan is going to be executed, only that it will be. “And if a single one of them steps foot out of their room you come get me, and trust me when I tell you they won’t like what happens then.” She shot a death glare at the two culprits and both girls slunk back behind Satsu. “Now go!” The two girls hurried off, back to their rooms.
“Fuck,” Buffy breathed, all of the stress hitting her at once. She collapsed against the wall, putting her head in her hands as she slowly slid down to a sitting position. “I can’t do this,” she mumbled, feeling completely overwhelmed. She didn’t sign up to be a mother for forty teenage girls.
“Do you want me to…?” Satsu started, looking at her with a worried expression on her face. She was probably asking if she wanted her to stay; comfort her. Buffy didn’t want that.
“Just… go,” she told her, letting out a breath and looking up at the girl as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Make sure all the Slayers are in their rooms. Please.” Satsu nodded softly before giving her a quick bow. She then made her way down the hallway and around the corner, disappearing from sight.
Buffy didn’t know how long she sat there, but it had to be have been quite awhile. She knew she needed to go in and check on Faith, but she really really didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see how everything she had done over the last two weeks had been for nothing. Buffy had her head in her hands until she felt someone sit next to her; then she finally looked up.
Willow was looking at her with a sympathetic expression on her face. “I’m sorry,” she said, putting her hand on Buffy’s knee in a comforting gesture.
“I don’t know what do anymore, Will,” Buffy admitted softly, feeling really weak all of a sudden. All the screaming and stress seemed to take a lot out of her.
“It’s only been two weeks,” Willow reminded her gently. “You know these things take time. You can’t expect Faith never to relapse; that’d be unrealistic.” She squeezed Buffy’s knee gently. “She’s hurting, Buffy; that takes time to get over. Be there for her, but don’t…” she trailed off, sighing slightly.
“Don’t what?” Buffy asked, looking at her.
Willow looked hesitant to say what she was thinking, but found herself doing it nonetheless. “Don’t make it your whole life,” she told her. “You’ve been… well, Faith has been your own priority lately. You have a castle full of Slayers that need training and you’re barley giving them the time of day, and now I hear you’ve grounded them all to their rooms? You can’t just put them away somewhere so you don’t have to deal. They’re your responsibility.”
“They gave Faith alcohol!”
“Two of them did, not all of them. You’re pushing them away in a corner so you can primarily deal with what’s going on with Faith,” Willow told her, completely calling her out. “And I’m sorry… but maybe Faith needs to learn to do this on her own. It’s not fair for everyone to suffer just because of what she’s going through.”
Buffy stared at her incredulously. “Faith can’t do this on her own, Willow. She’s Faith. And I can’t believe you’d say that; she witnessed the only person she ever really cared for being murdered. It’s not like she’s fucking up on purpose!”
“He’s been gone for over three months, Buffy,” Willow reminded her gently. “I’m not saying she should be totally back to normal, but she’s only seemed to have gotten worse. We all know a thing or two about death. We’ve all lost someone we loved. And I know I’m not one to judge because I went psychotic when Tara died and flayed a man alive, but even after that… a few months later I had made progress; I healed some. Faith hasn’t. And… well, I…”
“You what?” Buffy asked, annoyed at Willow’s hesitation.
“I think it’s because she’s enjoying the attention she’s getting from you,” Willow told her honestly, an apologetic look on her face because she had to say that out loud.
Buffy shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. And she has made progress, Will. She was sober for two weeks.”
“Slayers don’t withdraw from alcohol the same way humans do,” Willow pointed out to her. “She hasn’t been sweating, vomiting, or shaking. She’s been moody, but otherwise fine. It’s not a physical thing; she doesn’t need it because her body can’t be addicted to it. She wants it; it’s as simple as that. She could have stayed sober if she wanted to, but I think this was a cry for attention more than anything else and I… I don’t think you should condone it, Buffy. Faith needs to grow up and learn to stand on her own two feet. We’re all here for her, but we can’t coddle her.”
“I’m not coddling her!” Buffy protested loudly.
“You barely paid her any attention until you found out she was drinking herself half to death,” Willow told her, pointing out something Buffy didn’t particularly want to see. “And now suddenly you’re obsessed with helping her, when Faith had so many more problems before this that you so easily ignored. So why now?”
“Because she needs help and apparently I’m the only one willing to give it!” Buffy shouted, getting angry as she hoisted herself off the floor, glaring at Willow. Okay, so maybe she and Faith had never been the best of friends, but she’s not going to just sit back and watch a fellow Slayer drink herself into an early grave. Faith had so much more potential than that. And maybe, maybe she was feeling a little guilty for never helping Faith with her other problems throughout her life. Maybe Buffy even blames some of those problems on herself.
“I need to go check on her,” she told Willow shortly before turning on her heel and walking away without letting her friend get another word out. God, she wasn’t coddling Faith; she needed help, for shit’s sake.
When she opened the door to Faith’s room, she found her passed out on the bed. She was strewn across it haphazardly, shoes and socks still on and feet halfway up the wall as her head lay dangling off the end of the bed. Buffy sighed softly, closing the door behind her before crossing the room. She sat down on the bed, trying to move Faith to a somewhat normal position so all the blood didn’t end up rushing to her head. Faith yawned sleepily and shifted a little, laying her head on Buffy’s lap. Buffy had half a mind to move her, but only sighed softly figuring ‘why bother?’ Instead, she softly ran her fingers through Faith’s hair, looking down at the girl on top of her.
“Willow says you’re doing this for attention,” Buffy told her softly, fingers still idly combing through her hair. “I really hope you’re not.”
“Already get enough attention for bein’ hot, B,” Faith mumbled sleepily, making Buffy’s hand still in her hair. She didn’t think she was awake. “Don’t need any for this fucked up shit.”
“Glad to know your modesty is still intact,” Buffy replied, smirking a little. She pursed her lips and began softly running her fingers through the girl’s hair again; something Faith apparently enjoyed since it seemed to make her snuggle into her more. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked. She didn’t want to get onto Faith about drinking when she was still drunk; she knew it wouldn’t end well.
“Fuckin’ peachy,” Faith slurred; unmoving, eyes still closed.
“You know you’re in my lap, right?” Buffy asked, just trying to make sure. Faith and she have never exactly been big with the closeness.
“Aware,” Faith mumbled. She yawned. “Y’know, for someone so boney you’re actually kinda comfortable.”
“I’m not boney!” Buffy protested, making Faith chuckle. “But… thank you.” She scrunched up her face after that, knowing that was a strange thing to be complimented on.
“Welcome,” Faith slurred, shifting on the bed again so she can get her head further into Buffy’s lap. One of her arms came up to wrap around Buffy’s legs. The blonde’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything about it. Faith had always been kind of a touchy feely drunk.
“You know you can’t sleep here, right?”
“S’My room.”
“I meant on my lap. I’ll have to move eventually.”
“Course ya gotta,” Faith slurred, eyes still closed. “Wouldn’t be Buffy if ya didn’t suck all the fun out of the room.”
“Hey! I resent that!” Buffy exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at her. She flicked the top of Faith’s head, which prompted the younger girl to exclaim, ‘Ow!’ and look up at her, glaring, as she rubbed the offended area of her scalp.
“Jeez, B. You take everything so fuckin’ seriously.”
Faith moved to sit up and Buffy instantly regretted flicking her because she kind of liked having Faith’s head in her lap. It kind of… felt nice, to be needed. God, maybe this really was unhealthy. Faith being needy and Buffy wanting to be needed didn’t exactly spell out success; no wonder everything is still going to shit. Codependence is not a good thing; neither is the attention they both craved from one another for whatever reason.
Then again, it wasn’t like the whole ‘Buffy and Faith relationship’ had ever been the picture of health or sanity.
“I should go,” Buffy said, moving to get up. “You need sleep…”
“Nah, stay,” Faith said, mid yawn as she stretched her arms over her head. Her eyes tried to focus on Buffy directly after that, but the blonde noticed that she was having trouble seeing her; she was probably seeing two of her. It made Faith furrow her eyebrows and shake her head before blinking a couple times, then she nodded as she affirmed silently in her head that yes, there was only one Buffy present.
Buffy frowned. This was the first time Faith didn’t want her to leave, when usually she was advocating for her to get as far away as possible. Then again, she was drunk, so her behavior was bound to be off. Really off.
“But you’re just going to be sleeping,” Buffy protested lightly. She knew Faith needed sleep. If she started wandering around the castle piss drunk like this there was bound to be some issues. Besides, she looked really tired. Party’s over, obviously.
“Then sleep with me,” Faith told her, stifling another yawn as she moved to lie at the head of her bed. Buffy’s mind involuntarily went to a dirty place when she said that and the blonde blushed. But it was a testament to how drunk, and how much Faith wasn’t paying attention, when she didn’t comment on it, nor even notice that she had just made an innuendo to build off of. “Know you’re stressin’,” she went on, burying the side of her head in the pillow. “Shit’s comin’ off you in waves,” she mumbled, closing her eyes. “Just take a nap. Fuck it.”
Yeah, Faith must be really out of it if she just offered to share her bed with Buffy. Faith didn’t even sleep with the people she… well, slept with. Buffy wasn’t even sure if Faith had ever really shared a bed with anyone for the night.
But she was right. She was wore out. Besides, Faith’s sudden, yet drunken, interest of having her in her bed intrigued Buffy.
Not for sexy reasons, obviously. For… friendly, Faith-may-be-softening-up reasons.
“Move over,” Buffy told her gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and kicking off her shoes. Faith obliged sleepily, shifting so she was on the side closest to the wall. Buffy climbed in next to her, lying so they’re face to face. Faith’s eyes were closed, but Buffy knew she could feel her looking at her. It was kind of scary how innocent she looked when she was relaxed.
They lie there in silence for a while, Buffy taking a moment to really look at Faith now that she was so close and her eyes were closed. It was such a rarity for her to be able to… she didn’t want to say take a moment to appreciate her beauty, but in all honesty it was kind of close to that. Before she knew what she was doing, she reached out, brushing a piece of chocolate brown hair away from Faith’s eyes.
“I wish you didn’t drink tonight,” Buffy admitted to her softly.
“Why?” Faith mumbled, sounding close to drifting off. Buffy took a breath, continuing to idly play with Faith’s hair. It was a rather intimate position, but Buffy found she’d rather just enjoy it than risk freaking out if she analyzed it. Besides, Faith didn’t seem to mind. Or maybe she just didn’t notice.
“Because you’re so much better than that,” Buffy told her strongly. It seemed to be enough to make Faith actually open her eyes and Buffy frowned, brushing another piece of hair away from her face. “It’s hard for me to see you like this, when…” she sighed softly, “Faith, before all this happened you were so amazing. I’ll be honest, I never really expected you to ever act like a responsible adult, but you were. The girls adored you, much more than me anyway. They loved training with you, sparring with you, slaying with you. You got up in the morning with no complaint and did what you had to do and I was… I was really proud of you.”
Faith didn’t say anything; she just looked at Buffy with expression the blonde couldn’t read.
“I know you’re hurting, I’m not diminishing that,” Buffy told her softly, making a point to look directly in Faith’s eyes so she knew she was serious. “But it kills me to see you destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to build. I’ve seen who you are Faith and I’ve seen who you can become and…” she gave her a small, yet sad smile. “I really want that Faith back. You’re too strong to become a slave to something that’s so… human.. Addiction is such a human thing and we’re Slayers, Faith. We’re better than that.” She looked her in the eyes and told her seriously, “You’re better than that.”
Buffy expected Faith to say something, anything at all, but she didn’t. Maybe it was because she was drunk, or maybe it was because something Buffy said actually touched her, but she leaned in and softly pressed her lips to Buffy’s. The blonde’s eyes went wide for a moment, but instinct kicked it and she leaned into the kiss, parting her lips as her eyes fluttered closed.
She never expected Faith to kiss so… sweetly.
It didn’t last as long as Buffy would have liked. When Faith pulled back, Buffy couldn’t stop her face from masking in confusion. It was unexpected. Faith didn’t even like women and now suddenly she was kissing the one person who used to be her mortal enemy? Awkward. It was… nice; really nice actually, but awkward.
“What…?” Buffy started, sounding perplexed.
“Was just supposed to say thanks,” Faith explained, yawning a little mid-sentence. She shrugged lightly. “Guess I did that instead. I dunno why; wasn’t really thinking about it.” She closed her eyes, snuggling into her pillow, letting out another short yawn. “Night, B.”
Buffy stared at her for a moment. That’s it? As far as answers went, that wasn’t exactly top notch. Then again, Faith was drunk and tired. There was a strong possibility she wouldn’t even remember this come morning. So Buffy let out a soft sigh, settling into her pillow.
“Night, F.”
* * *
“Thirty days,” Faith announced, slamming her sobriety medallion on the table in front of them. “Suck it, Harris. You owe me fifty large.” She grinned ear to ear as Xander grumbled something inaudible and started rifling through his pockets for his wallet.
“You bet against her?” Buffy asked, shocked. “Xander!” That was so counterproductive to what they were actually trying to achieve here.
“Hey, no; she made me!” Xander protested as he placed a fifty into Faith’s outstretched hand. Faith grinned and pocketed it as Buffy turned on her, outstretching her hands like ‘what the hell?’
“What?” Faith asked innocently, leaning against the counter. “I needed someone to bet against me; money’s a damn good motivator.” She looked to the rest of the people in the room. “So who’s got a hundred on me not makin’ it to ninety? Any takers?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. But hey, whatever worked.
Nobody seemed to want to take her bet though, so Faith turned to Buffy. “C’mon, B; whadaya say?”
“I am so not forking over a hundred bucks, Faith,” Buffy told her. She didn’t have that kind of money. “But if you go to ninety than I’ll… um…” she racked her brain for something suitable, coming up with, “I’ll take you out to dinner or something.”
“Aww, it’ll be our first date,” Faith jested. Xander, who was sulking over his loss with a bag of Doritos, started to choke on a chip. Willow had to slap him on the back to help him dislodge it and Faith laughed, explaining, “B here’s got a huge crush on me.”
“I do not!” Buffy protested, her cheeks flushing a little in embarrassment. Not because of what Faith said, but because everyone was looking at her like she had grown two heads. “Shut up, Faith. You’re such an ass,” she mumbled. Faith had been teasing her about this imaginary ‘crush’ for the last month.
Okay, the crush may or may not be imaginary, but regardless! If it was there, it was only a tiny one. Like, so miniscule it doesn’t even show a blip on the radar.
Faith grinned big. “So where ya gonna take me?” She looked so excited about something that might happen two months from now. Faith was kind of like a kid in that way though.
“Nowhere now,” Buffy mumbled grumpily, frowning at being picked on.
Faith poked her side, which prompted Buffy to slap her hand. “C’mon, where?” Faith pestered, knowing she was annoying Buffy. She continued to poke her.
“I swear to God if you poke me one more time I’m going to break your finger.”
So of course Faith poked her again.
“Faith!” Buffy exclaimed, but Faith already took off running out of the kitchen and out the backdoor. Buffy sped off after her, unable to contain the laughter.
While the last month had been hard, Faith and Buffy had grown a lot closer during it. It was probably because Buffy was the only one who was there for her through everything. Not many people put their faith in the rogue slayer during her lifetime, so it stood to reason that the first person who did would be the first person Faith actually opened up to. She didn’t say a lot, but she said enough. For someone like her, even one sentence about how she was feeling was a milestone, and Buffy was pretty sure she said at least a paragraph; which was pretty damn phenomenal. But ever since then their friendship had… grown. They actually hung out now, instead of only seeing each other during training and slaying.
And yeah, maybe Buffy did develop some sort of small, VERY small, practically nonexistent it’s so tiny… crush on her. But Faith was her first crush on a girl and the kiss was… well, more than nice. But that was it. She wasn’t like… pining after her or anything. She understood Faith didn’t swing that way so when she had fleeting moments of fantasies, Buffy kept them private. Most fantasies never come true anyway.
It didn’t matter though, any of it. In reality, the only thing that made any difference at all was Faith finally getting sober again; finally getting her life back on track. And you know what? Helping Faith do that was one of the things she was most proud of her in life.
And Buffy wouldn’t change that for the world.
- FIN -
Prompt: First Meeting
Table: Here.
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta: Frass
Fandom: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Buffy/Faith
Word Length: 8,821 words
Summary: Buffy knew this wouldn't go over well, but she was running out of options.
006. First Meeting
“God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“This blows,” Faith muttered, folding her arms across her chest as she slumped a little further into her chair, like she didn’t want anyone to recognize her. Not that anyone would, Buffy doubted any of Faith’s numerous lovers had enough merit to actually try to change the things that were screwing up their lives; they weren’t exactly decent people.
“Just give it a chance,” Buffy requested softly, looking over at the younger Slayer. She looked really uncomfortable with this whole ordeal but then again, it wasn’t like she was here by choice.
Buffy understood why Faith let herself go this badly; after witnessing her first serious boyfriend get ripped to shreds by vampires three months ago, it was no surprise that she was having problems dealing. Anyone would. The drinking was expected, as was the depression. They gave her space, hoping that it was just her way of dealing with the loss and that it would lessen as time went on. But it didn’t lessen; it only got so much worse. When Buffy found her one morning in her room buck naked, completely passed out while the two guys she brought back the night before continued to have their way with her, it was the last straw. She beat the hell out of the two guys for practically raping Faith in her sleep and then threw them out of the castle, telling them if she ever saw them on her property again she’d kill them.
Needless to say, an intervention was held the following day.
Faith didn’t take it well, but that was expected. She swore a lot and told them it was none of their business what she did. And maybe it wasn’t, but when she brought that kind of shit into their home, it became their business. They had young, impressionable slayers running around the castle and the last thing they needed was to see one of the original slayers drinking herself into an early grave. Faith was supposed to be a role model and while Buffy used to not have much faith in that ever actually happening in her lifetime, for a little while she really was one. She was good with the girls, great with training, and was always on board. But now? Now she was sinking into this deep depression that no one could seem to get her out of. She was irritable, angry, and seemed to hate everyone and everything around her.
Today was no different. She was looking at everyone in this AA meeting like she wanted to skin them alive.
“Alcoholics Anonymous is a group of men and women who share their experiences, strength, and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism,” the leader of the group started. She was quite homely looking; like the kind of Mom that would bake cookies for their kids after school. It was kind of unnerving for Buffy to see the realism in addiction; that it can really affect anyone, not just people who looked like they grew up on the streets.
Not that Buffy was stereotyping Faith or anything.
“The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking,” she went on, addressing the small group of people gathered in the room. “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.”
“Pfft, good luck with that,” Faith mumbled under her breath, sounding like an immature child as she idly picked at her nails. Buffy smacked the side of her thigh hard, silently telling her to shut up. She was being incredibly rude. Buffy understood she didn’t want to be here, but she didn’t have to say things like that. What if one of the other alcoholics heard her, decided her doubt was justifiable, and then tomorrow drinks himself an entire keg of beer and falls asleep on the train tracks? Said hypothetical man could die tomorrow due to a speeding train with bad breaks and it’d all be Faith’s fault!
Not that Faith thought about things like that. Sometimes Buffy wondered how Faith could see; what with her head stuck so far up her own ass most days.
She couldn’t see how much her problem was affecting everyone else. Maybe she didn’t want to see. She was too wrapped up in her own head, sitting under her own dark cloud, to notice that the people that lov- well, cared about her, were worried. Faith only cared about how she felt and how to achieve the feeling she thought she needed. She often mistook pleasure for happiness. Even after all these years, she still had yet to realize the difference.
“What the-“ Faith started, intending to bitch about just getting smacked. But she got interrupted when Buffy pinched her thigh hard. “Ow!” Faith hissed. She rubbed the offended area, glaring at her like she hoped her gaze would prompt Buffy to burst into flames.
“Don’t swear,” Buffy whispered, shooting her a look of warning. They were in a church, for God’s sake. Buffy may not be religious, but she does know how to have a little respect.
“Was gonna say ‘what the hell,’ you abusive bitch,” Faith sneered softly, trying not to get everyone’s attention from their little quarrel.
Oh, right. Faith grew up Catholic. Guess she did have a little respect buried somewhere down there. Then again, in a church, is ‘hell’ really better than ‘fuck’?
Faith’s insult rolled off of her easily; it wasn’t like that was the first time Buffy’s ever heard them in her life. Granted, she hadn’t heard them for awhile and that was… actually really nice, but the forced sobriety seemed to have kicked Faith into one hell of bitchy mood, especially because Buffy was her designated babysitter. It wasn’t exactly a task that the elder slayer wanted, but even she had to admit that the chances of her stopping Faith from drinking were far higher than anyone else’s; though mostly because she had the physical qualifications to literally stop her if need be.
Faith complained that they were treating her like a child; that “she wasn’t anyone’s goddamn responsibility.” But when it came to the point where she could no longer care for herself, she kind of forfeited the right to be the one to make her own decisions. Because honestly, the kind of decisions Faith had been making lately… scared Buffy. Faith was dancing with death most days and Buffy really didn’t want to hold a funeral anytime soon. So she watched her. She followed her. At first Buffy was trying to be sneaky about it, but Faith caught onto the game far too quickly and that brought on a shouting match that lasted a little over two and a half hours.
“’Abusive’ is pushing it,” Buffy whispered back. She smacked her leg and then pinched her; for their standards, that was a hug.
“I see we have some newcomers,” the leader announced, looking at the two of them pointedly. Buffy felt her cheeks color in embarrassment; she had heard them. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”
Some random man stood up immediately. “Hi! I’m Kyle, and I am an alcoholic.” He looked far too pleased with that statement, like he was overly excited to be there. A chorus of “Hi, Kyle’s” filled Buffy’s ears and okay, even she has to admit that was a little creepy; they were all in unison.
The leader then looked to the two of them and Buffy smacked Faith’s thigh again, encouraging her to stand up. Faith scowled, clearly not wanting to take part, but she eventually stood up and said, “I’m Faith.” There was a long pause that followed that before she finished with a slight mock in her tone, “And I’m an alcoholic.”
“Hi, Faith,” the whole room said. Faith looked completely weirded out by twenty people saying her name at the exact same time and she flopped back down in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. Then the leader looked to Buffy.
“Oh, I’m not a…” Buffy started, feeling a little embarrassed. “I, uh… I’m just moral support girl,” she explained, voice quiet as she realized that she may not even be welcome in this meeting if she’s not hooked on the booze. “For her,” she finished, nodding her head towards Faith like that wasn’t already obvious to everyone around them. But she felt the need to explain her presence there. Faith, however, didn’t help her cause much since she outright snorted at that.
Thankfully though, she wasn’t kicked out. After an hour of listening to the guest speaker talk about their addiction and how it ruined his life, the meeting disbanded and everyone went for the coffee and donuts. Well, all except Faith, who stormed out the church doors. Buffy sighed heavily, following her. She really wanted to eat, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen. It was sad too; that strawberry donut was calling to her like a long lost lover.
Buffy can’t even remember the last time she was able to eat donuts. Every time they brought some in the house they were devoured by the Slayer Brigade before Buffy could even get near the damn box. Regardless of her pastry woes though, Buffy exited the church to find Faith sitting on the stone wall, lighting up a cigarette. Her aggravation was coming off of her in waves so Buffy took a little more caution when approaching her.
Buffy sat next to her on the wall, though kept a respectable distance. Silence washed between them for a moment as Buffy gave her a second to adjust to her presence. After a little while she asked, “So, how did you like it?”
“Shit’s a fuckin’ joke,” Faith replied flatly, taking another long pull off of her cigarette. When she exhaled, the smoke curled around her lips seductively for a moment before she let her breath out faster, turning it into one long stream. Buffy found herself staring before she could stop herself.
She knew that shouldn’t be sexy - smoking is disgusting after all - but Faith always did have an irritating way of making anything look hot.
Not that that was significant to the way Buffy looked at her; Faith being hot was a fact, not an opinion.
“Well I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Buffy replied sardonically, “because you’ll be here again Thursday.” Faith turned to look at her, another glare plastered on her features like she actually expected Buffy to be intimidated.
“No I won’t.”
“Yes, you will,” Buffy replied firmly, not about to take any crap about this. “You will be going to these meetings twice a week even if I have to hog tie you and drag you here myself.”
“What the fuck is the point, B?” Faith exclaimed, flicking the ash off the end of her cigarette violently; a little too violently, since she ended up breaking the thing in half. She threw it on the ground in annoyance. “No stupid meeting is gonna make things better,” she told her as she dug around in her pocket for her pack of smokes. “No stupid meeting is gonna make him come back. No stupid fucking meeting where I have to sit there, listening to other people ramble on about their problems, is going to make me feel better about mine!”
“Well what do you want; therapy?” Buffy asked, sounding a little perplexed. She was so far out of her element here. “Because we could get you therapy, if that’s what you wanted. Giles-”
Faith laughed bitterly. “Yeah, cause that’s the thing I need, right? Tell some bitch with a clipboard my boyfriend got ripped to shreds by vamps and that’s why I’m so fucked up about everything. You know what would happen? One way ticket to the crazy house, baby.” She pulled another cigarette out of her pack, placing it between her painted lips before lighting it up.
“If you had let me finish my sentence,” Buffy started, trying to stay calm so they didn’t end up getting into another one of their famous shouting matches, “I would have told you that Giles already has a therapist that’s dealing with the Slayers; you really didn’t think those girls came without problems of their own, did you?”
Faith stayed silent, staring out at the street as she continued to pull long drags off of her cigarette. Buffy sighed.
“All I’m saying is that if you need someone to talk to, we have someone. Someone you can tell everything to that isn’t going to put you in a mental hospital because you fight vampires.”
“Ain’t talkin’ to a stranger,” Faith told her flatly, eyes still trained in front of her.
“Well then talk to me,” Buffy pleaded gently. That finally made Faith look at her. She looked halfway between amused and disbelieving.
“You?” she asked, like the concept of them ever exchanging meaningful words was ridiculous. And maybe it was, maybe they never had a real conversation per say, but that didn’t mean it had to stay that way.
“Why not?” Buffy asked, shrugging. “I’ve known you… a decently long time, and I do have ears.” As far as reasons go, she knew that wasn’t exactly top notch, but Buffy didn’t really have many others besides that. They weren’t friends; if anything they were just… coworkers and roommates.
“Pretty sure people don’t talk to someone just cause they got ears,” Faith replied, looking a little amused as she took another drag of her cigarette.
“And I know you!” Buffy protested, a little miffed she actually left off the important part of her ridiculous argument.
When Faith spoke, smoke wrapped around every word as she exhaled, “You don’t know me, B.” It wasn’t defensive and it wasn’t accusing; it just was what it was. Buffy would like to pretend that Faith was wrong, but the sad fact was… she wasn’t. Buffy’s known Faith for six years and yet they never really knew much about each other. They kind of always kept their distance when it came to each other’s personal lives.
But here Buffy was now; smack dab in the middle of Faith’s personal life and personal problem.
“Well, I’m still offering,” Buffy told her seriously, shifting her position on the wall so she could better face her. She watched Faith flick her cigarette into the street and let out a small sigh.
“Thanks, but… not really lookin’ for a shoulder to cry on.”
Well, Buffy certainly wasn’t expecting to feel as rejected as she just did. “Oh,” she responded, knowing her face fell. She immediately attempted to rearrange it into a more neutral position and shrugged, like it wasn’t really important either way. “Well you don’t have to cry…” she attempted, knowing she was pushing the matter.
“Said no, B.”
“Okay,” Buffy consented, clasping her hands in her lap and looking out at the passing cars. She felt at such a loss about what to do. The meeting didn’t seem to open Faith’s eyes any and it’s not like if they stuck her into rehab that they could contain a Slayer if she wanted to get out. Apart from ridding the castle of any and all alcohol and keeping an eye on her twenty four seven, there wasn’t much else that Buffy could think to do.
Faith resented being watched like an out of control toddler though.
“We done here?” Faith asked suddenly, shaking Buffy from her thoughts. The blonde raised her eyebrows as she watched Faith slide from the wall, her sneakers landing on the cement softly. She started walking away, apparently not even waiting for an answer.
“Yeah,” Buffy sighed, pulling herself off the wall to follow. “I guess we’re done here.”
* * *
“I told you to watch them!” Buffy shouted, holding a bottle of rum in her hands and waving it around erratically. She just plucked that out of the hands of a group of young slayers in the basement and she was not happy. “You know we can’t have this in the castle right now! I can’t watch them and Faith at the same time; that’s why I appointed the task to you!”
“I’m sorry, Toumoku,” Satsu apologized, looking crestfallen from being lectured, especially by Buffy. “But the girls are restless; they need to slay. Being deprived of their natural instinct is making them become… unmanageable.”
Understatement. They’ve been rowdy all day and Xander’s starting to get pissed off with how much crap they were breaking as they sparred with each other all over the castle.
“You know I can’t go out right now,” Buffy replied shortly, hating being put in this position. She rubbed her forehead to calm her oncoming headache. “Can’t you take them?”
“I would love to, but there are too many for me to watch on my own.”
“Take Willow and Kennedy with you,” Buffy told her. “They’ll be able to provide you enough back up.” She looked down at the bottle in her hand and turned up her nose, never being one to really enjoy a lot of alcohol. Give her something fruity with an umbrella in it and she’s sold, but something straight and hard? No thank you. “And get rid of this, please,” she requested, holding it out to Satsu. The girl took it from her.
“I’ll go round everyone up,” Satsu told her, giving her a short, polite bow before she turned, hurrying off in the other direction.
“I told you, you don’t have to-” Buffy started, but Satsu had already rounded the corner. “Bow,” she finished softly, dragging her fingers through her hair and sighing. Ever since they broke up, Satsu had been overcompensating with being obnoxiously respectful towards her. At least that was when they were actually ever around one another, which seemed to be a rarity; Satsu would always find some excuse not to be in close proximity to her.
It killed Buffy to know she broke her heart, but she knew it would be worse if she continued to stay with her when she wasn’t the one she wanted.
Not that Buffy had a specific someone in mind, but still; she knew Satsu wasn’t it. That was enough for her to know she shouldn’t be doing it.
Buffy let out a heavy breath and made her way back to Faith’s room, needing to check on her. She had already left her alone for far too long. The sun had almost completely set now and Buffy could feel the Slayer inside of her being pulled towards the darkness, wanting to hunt. Faith would be no different. While Buffy had learned to control the instinct over the years, Faith hadn’t. She became just as restless as the younger slayers downstairs; always itching to either slay or fuck when the sun went down.
Buffy rapped her knuckle lightly against the brunette’s door, hoping for an open invitation but knowing she won’t get one. In fact, she didn’t get any answer at all. She was ignored.
Buffy opened the door slowly, making sure Faith was actually still in her room, but breathed a sigh of relief once she saw the younger girl sitting cross-legged on her bed. “Y’know, privacy isn’t just a concept,” Faith told her flatly, staring down at a comic book that was laid out on her bed.
“I know, but… I needed to check on you,” Buffy told her, feeling a little guilty for invading Faith’s privacy all the time. But it isn’t like Faith left her with any other choice. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Not havin’ the urge to throw myself off a bridge, if that’s what you mean,” Faith answered sardonically as she idly flipped the page. She was trying to appear casual, but she was anything but. Buffy could see how tense her muscles were, how her hand shook just slightly as she gripped the paper between her fingers.
“Well that’s a start,” Buffy replied, looking her over. Faith still had not given her a glance; like Buffy was deemed unimportant at the moment. “Can I come in?”
“You’re going to whether I say you can or not, so sure,” Faith answered, still heavy with the mocking in her voice. She was not happy with this; that much was clear. But Buffy took the invitation at face value and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.
“You’re restless,” she pointed out, noticing Faith was having a hard time concentrating on the comic in front of her.
“And you state the obvious.”
Buffy sighed. She knew Faith wouldn’t be easy to deal with, especially at this time of night. The girl wanted to go out; Buffy noticed each time her eyes would shift to the window, a longing expression on her face. But what could she do? She didn’t trust Faith enough not to run off and go get hammered in some sleazy bar somewhere.
“I’m sorry,” Buffy apologized, which actually made Faith look up at her finally. “I know this is hard for you. But there are other options than going out, you know; if you’re that… wound up.”
Faith cocked an eyebrow at her, “You offerin’?”
“What? No!” Buffy replied quickly, her cheeks turning a light rosy hue as she realized the implication Faith’s words. “A big resounding no to that, thank you. I just meant… we have other Slayers in the house; you have to have noticed the way some of them look at you.” This conversation was definitely a weird one to be having, but if it would calm Faith down a little and take her mind off of alcohol, it kind of needed to be had.
“Yeah, well,” Faith started, shifting on the bed so she was now situated against the wall, legs straight out in front of her with one crossed over the other, “Ain’t really into the whole chick thing.”
Buffy was sure her brain just broke.
“What?” she asked, like Faith just told her she was going to be the next President of the United States. “But you… and the flirting!” she stumbled, not being able to wrap her mind around this concept. “Faith, you flirted with me relentlessly when we were teenagers.”
Faith smirked. “I just liked seein’ ya blush. Didn’t actually want in your pants or anything.” Buffy just blinked, staring at her like she was speaking German; she didn’t understand a word of it. “You disappointed?” Faith asked, sounding amused.
“No, I just…” Buffy started, trying to convince herself she actually wasn’t disappointed. In all honesty, Faith was the reason Buffy realized she was bisexual; all that flirting actually got to her. Not that she’ll ever tell Faith that though. She didn’t want her or anything now, but still; finding out your first crush on a girl was merely fun and games for said girl did tend to wound a person. “You, uh,” Buffy stumbled, but then just went with, “Never?” Her curiosity was far more dominant than her good sense at the moment.
Faith shrugged. “Tried it out in prison since it was my only option. It wasn’t like it was bad or anything, but it ain’t nothin’ like a man. Trust me; there’s no better feeling than a hard dick inside you, Princess.” She winked at Buffy, though the blonde didn’t blush. She was still looking at her like she didn’t understand how this conversation turned into, well, this. She had been so sure that Faith liked women.
“But, uh… I mean, it still… satisfied you, right?” Buffy asked, not seeing how it couldn’t. Then again, she was bisexual and Faith apparently… wasn’t.
Buffy hated how disappointed that actually made her. It was like the world she knew was suddenly backwards.
Faith smirked. “Ya know, B; you ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn’t have a personal interest in the matter.” That made Buffy flush, embarrassed that she was pressing Faith for details of her lesbian encounters.
“Sorry, it’s just hard to take in. I’ve always assumed… well, you know.”
“Ain’t like I’m entirely against it if I gotta get off bad enough,” Faith answered. “But when push comes to shove, rather have a dick buried inside of me than someone’s fingers.”
“Girls use sex toys, you know; it’s not all fingers,” Buffy defended, then flushed an even deeper crimson as she realized what just came out her mouth. “Oh god, forget I just said that.” Faith laughed at her expression; the first laugh she had heard since her boyfriend died. Buffy couldn’t help but smile shyly, secretly pleased she accomplished that. She had been feeling so useless lately about this whole situation; it was nice to know she didn’t entirely suck at it on some level.
“Somethin’ you ain’t tellin’ me, B? Sounds like you’re trying to convince me, here,” Faith pointed out, still chuckling from Buffy’s slip up.
“I’m not! I’m so not!” Buffy replied quickly, not wanting Faith to think that she’s trying to get her to sleep with her. She’s not. “And there’s nothing to tell of the… noteworthy variety.”
“Uh huh,” Faith replied, disbelievingly. She had this irritating little smirk on her face and it made Buffy narrow her eyes at her, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Don’t do that annoying thing you do; the cocky thing. I don’t want you or anything,” Buffy told her. “I was just trying to… suggest something; something that very much didn’t include me!”
Faith chucked. “Relax, B. Don’t want ya to bust a vein or anything. I was just fuckin’ with you.” Buffy noticeably relaxed at that.
“Oh,” she replied, a little sheepish.
“But you’re right,” Faith told her, making eye contact with her. The intensity of her gaze made Buffy flush again and back up a step. “I do need someone to fuck.” Or something to kill, but that wasn’t an option for her right now.
“Well, uh…” Buffy stammered, trying to think of a solution. “We don’t exactly have any guys in this house other than Xander, Giles, and Andrew and I don’t think-”
“Pretty sure I’d stab myself in the gut repeatedly before I screwed any of them,” Faith told her, a look of disgust crossing her face that made Buffy giggle. Yeah, that would be really weird. And with Giles it would just be… gross. Ew. That wouldn’t even begin to cover daddy issues.
“Yeah,” Buffy affirmed. She let out a breath, feeling useless again. “I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry; I know how hard this time of night is, trust me.”
“What about you?” Faith asked, cocking her head to the side as she assessed her.
“Me?”
“Yeah; you ain’t out with the brigade either. That mean you gonna take that little Asian chick for a little roll in the sack tonight?” Faith asked, completely catapulting the unspoken boundaries set between them. Then again, Buffy was the one that opened the damn door with the whole sex conversation.
“We… uh, we’re not…” she trailed off, finding this an odd thing to talk about with Faith, “doing that anymore,” Buffy finished awkwardly, shifting her weight between the balls of her feet. She licked her dry lips and stared at the floor for a second.
“No? Girl worships you, B; figured you’d be into that.”
Buffy ignored the implication behind that and replied, “She was looking for something I couldn’t give her.” It was a vague, yet truthful answer.
Faith cocked an eyebrow. “So what; you gonna go out slaying later?” she asked, apparently not seeing another option besides hunting and sex.
“No,” Buffy answered, leaning back against Faith’s closed door. “I learned to control my urges a long time ago; I’ll survive.”
Faith outright snorted at that. “You’re so full of shit.”
“Excuse you?”
“B, you know as well as I do that if you can’t hunt and you can’t fuck, every night you got your fingers buried in your pussy trying to find some way to get out the slayer’s excess energy,” Faith replied, looking at Buffy like her denying it would be stupid. Buffy flushed, but didn’t fully give into the embarrassment. She shouldn’t be embarrassed about that; a slayer’s sex drive was completely insane compared to a normal girl’s. Buffy couldn’t help that.
“That’s a part of controlling it, Faith,” she retorted, like she should know that. If she didn’t masturbate she’d have been just as promiscuous as the brunette was. “Maybe you should try it sometime instead of bringing home every guy you see.” She knew that was a little harsh, but it was the truth.
“Why; ya wanna watch?” Faith shot back with a suggestive tone, which finally makes Buffy stumble over her words and get really embarrassed, looking away from her.
“No! God, you-ugh, why do you do this?!” she spluttered, feeling mortified just from the mere suggestion; or rather, mortified by the slew of images that just assaulted her sanity as her brain seemed to have a little bit too much fun with that scenario.
“Because it’s fuckin’ funny,” Faith replied, smirking like she just won this round. And maybe she did, but Buffy wasn’t going to submit to her willingly.
“You’re intolerable, you know that?” Buffy snapped, annoyed that she got the better of her.
“So I’ve heard.”
Buffy chewed on the inside of her cheek, a look of annoyance plastered on her face. She came, she saw, she’s done. After a moment of silence Buffy nodded her head towards the door. “Look, I’m just gonna… go now; give you some privacy. But I’ll be back, so don’t… you know, leave and ruin my night by making me chase you all around town.”
“Because I wouldn’t want to ruin your night,” Faith responded flatly. Buffy sighed; clearly Faith’s two second good mood was over and done with. Buffy didn’t say anything in response; she just gave her a soft, encouraging smile before she slipped out the door, closing it behind her. She hoped this would be the beginning of Faith’s healing process, but she also knew better than to expect that nothing would go wrong.
* * *
There’s mad, there’s furious… and then there’s Buffy right now.
Finding Faith hiding in a closet with a bottle of tequila wasn’t the bad part. The bad part was when she didn’t find her alone. The two younger Slayers who were with her apparently thought they would win points with Faith by giving her what she really didn’t need and now have been getting screamed at by Buffy for the better part of the last half hour.
There wasn’t even a word for what Buffy was right now. Angry didn’t cover it. She had the urge to beat the living crap out of both of them just to teach them a lesson, but Satsu held her back, which, well, didn’t win any points for Satsu either. Buffy turned on her, screaming about how she was put in charge and once again she had let her down, which prompted tears to spring up in the younger girl’s eyes.
Logically, Buffy knew that Satsu being put in charge of forty girls was probably too much to handle; she couldn’t watch every single one of them all the time. But seeing Faith drunk again pushed Buffy over the edge. It had been two weeks; Faith had been sober for two whole weeks and now they’re back to square one again. It was devastating; Buffy thought that maybe she was finally getting through to her. Clearly she wasn’t.
“Every single one of the Slayers are grounded,” Buffy spat, mid tirade. “They aren’t to leave their dorm rooms or I swear to God-”
“You can’t ground us!” one the girls caught with Faith - Vanessa - exclaimed.
“I can and I will!” Buffy screamed. “You have no idea what you just did. This isn’t some stupid game, Vanessa! Faith is in serious trouble and if I can’t expect any of you to help then I’m damn sure not going to let you frolic around and make shit worse! If you all are going to act like children, then I’ll treat you like children!”
“Buffy, how do you expect to keep forty girls in their rooms?” Satsu asked, voice tiny; she’s afraid of bringing up something that was probably a valid question.
“I don’t know; I’ll have you all take shifts watching the hallways!” Buffy shouted, not really caring how the plan is going to be executed, only that it will be. “And if a single one of them steps foot out of their room you come get me, and trust me when I tell you they won’t like what happens then.” She shot a death glare at the two culprits and both girls slunk back behind Satsu. “Now go!” The two girls hurried off, back to their rooms.
“Fuck,” Buffy breathed, all of the stress hitting her at once. She collapsed against the wall, putting her head in her hands as she slowly slid down to a sitting position. “I can’t do this,” she mumbled, feeling completely overwhelmed. She didn’t sign up to be a mother for forty teenage girls.
“Do you want me to…?” Satsu started, looking at her with a worried expression on her face. She was probably asking if she wanted her to stay; comfort her. Buffy didn’t want that.
“Just… go,” she told her, letting out a breath and looking up at the girl as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Make sure all the Slayers are in their rooms. Please.” Satsu nodded softly before giving her a quick bow. She then made her way down the hallway and around the corner, disappearing from sight.
Buffy didn’t know how long she sat there, but it had to be have been quite awhile. She knew she needed to go in and check on Faith, but she really really didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see how everything she had done over the last two weeks had been for nothing. Buffy had her head in her hands until she felt someone sit next to her; then she finally looked up.
Willow was looking at her with a sympathetic expression on her face. “I’m sorry,” she said, putting her hand on Buffy’s knee in a comforting gesture.
“I don’t know what do anymore, Will,” Buffy admitted softly, feeling really weak all of a sudden. All the screaming and stress seemed to take a lot out of her.
“It’s only been two weeks,” Willow reminded her gently. “You know these things take time. You can’t expect Faith never to relapse; that’d be unrealistic.” She squeezed Buffy’s knee gently. “She’s hurting, Buffy; that takes time to get over. Be there for her, but don’t…” she trailed off, sighing slightly.
“Don’t what?” Buffy asked, looking at her.
Willow looked hesitant to say what she was thinking, but found herself doing it nonetheless. “Don’t make it your whole life,” she told her. “You’ve been… well, Faith has been your own priority lately. You have a castle full of Slayers that need training and you’re barley giving them the time of day, and now I hear you’ve grounded them all to their rooms? You can’t just put them away somewhere so you don’t have to deal. They’re your responsibility.”
“They gave Faith alcohol!”
“Two of them did, not all of them. You’re pushing them away in a corner so you can primarily deal with what’s going on with Faith,” Willow told her, completely calling her out. “And I’m sorry… but maybe Faith needs to learn to do this on her own. It’s not fair for everyone to suffer just because of what she’s going through.”
Buffy stared at her incredulously. “Faith can’t do this on her own, Willow. She’s Faith. And I can’t believe you’d say that; she witnessed the only person she ever really cared for being murdered. It’s not like she’s fucking up on purpose!”
“He’s been gone for over three months, Buffy,” Willow reminded her gently. “I’m not saying she should be totally back to normal, but she’s only seemed to have gotten worse. We all know a thing or two about death. We’ve all lost someone we loved. And I know I’m not one to judge because I went psychotic when Tara died and flayed a man alive, but even after that… a few months later I had made progress; I healed some. Faith hasn’t. And… well, I…”
“You what?” Buffy asked, annoyed at Willow’s hesitation.
“I think it’s because she’s enjoying the attention she’s getting from you,” Willow told her honestly, an apologetic look on her face because she had to say that out loud.
Buffy shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. And she has made progress, Will. She was sober for two weeks.”
“Slayers don’t withdraw from alcohol the same way humans do,” Willow pointed out to her. “She hasn’t been sweating, vomiting, or shaking. She’s been moody, but otherwise fine. It’s not a physical thing; she doesn’t need it because her body can’t be addicted to it. She wants it; it’s as simple as that. She could have stayed sober if she wanted to, but I think this was a cry for attention more than anything else and I… I don’t think you should condone it, Buffy. Faith needs to grow up and learn to stand on her own two feet. We’re all here for her, but we can’t coddle her.”
“I’m not coddling her!” Buffy protested loudly.
“You barely paid her any attention until you found out she was drinking herself half to death,” Willow told her, pointing out something Buffy didn’t particularly want to see. “And now suddenly you’re obsessed with helping her, when Faith had so many more problems before this that you so easily ignored. So why now?”
“Because she needs help and apparently I’m the only one willing to give it!” Buffy shouted, getting angry as she hoisted herself off the floor, glaring at Willow. Okay, so maybe she and Faith had never been the best of friends, but she’s not going to just sit back and watch a fellow Slayer drink herself into an early grave. Faith had so much more potential than that. And maybe, maybe she was feeling a little guilty for never helping Faith with her other problems throughout her life. Maybe Buffy even blames some of those problems on herself.
“I need to go check on her,” she told Willow shortly before turning on her heel and walking away without letting her friend get another word out. God, she wasn’t coddling Faith; she needed help, for shit’s sake.
When she opened the door to Faith’s room, she found her passed out on the bed. She was strewn across it haphazardly, shoes and socks still on and feet halfway up the wall as her head lay dangling off the end of the bed. Buffy sighed softly, closing the door behind her before crossing the room. She sat down on the bed, trying to move Faith to a somewhat normal position so all the blood didn’t end up rushing to her head. Faith yawned sleepily and shifted a little, laying her head on Buffy’s lap. Buffy had half a mind to move her, but only sighed softly figuring ‘why bother?’ Instead, she softly ran her fingers through Faith’s hair, looking down at the girl on top of her.
“Willow says you’re doing this for attention,” Buffy told her softly, fingers still idly combing through her hair. “I really hope you’re not.”
“Already get enough attention for bein’ hot, B,” Faith mumbled sleepily, making Buffy’s hand still in her hair. She didn’t think she was awake. “Don’t need any for this fucked up shit.”
“Glad to know your modesty is still intact,” Buffy replied, smirking a little. She pursed her lips and began softly running her fingers through the girl’s hair again; something Faith apparently enjoyed since it seemed to make her snuggle into her more. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked. She didn’t want to get onto Faith about drinking when she was still drunk; she knew it wouldn’t end well.
“Fuckin’ peachy,” Faith slurred; unmoving, eyes still closed.
“You know you’re in my lap, right?” Buffy asked, just trying to make sure. Faith and she have never exactly been big with the closeness.
“Aware,” Faith mumbled. She yawned. “Y’know, for someone so boney you’re actually kinda comfortable.”
“I’m not boney!” Buffy protested, making Faith chuckle. “But… thank you.” She scrunched up her face after that, knowing that was a strange thing to be complimented on.
“Welcome,” Faith slurred, shifting on the bed again so she can get her head further into Buffy’s lap. One of her arms came up to wrap around Buffy’s legs. The blonde’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything about it. Faith had always been kind of a touchy feely drunk.
“You know you can’t sleep here, right?”
“S’My room.”
“I meant on my lap. I’ll have to move eventually.”
“Course ya gotta,” Faith slurred, eyes still closed. “Wouldn’t be Buffy if ya didn’t suck all the fun out of the room.”
“Hey! I resent that!” Buffy exclaimed, narrowing her eyes at her. She flicked the top of Faith’s head, which prompted the younger girl to exclaim, ‘Ow!’ and look up at her, glaring, as she rubbed the offended area of her scalp.
“Jeez, B. You take everything so fuckin’ seriously.”
Faith moved to sit up and Buffy instantly regretted flicking her because she kind of liked having Faith’s head in her lap. It kind of… felt nice, to be needed. God, maybe this really was unhealthy. Faith being needy and Buffy wanting to be needed didn’t exactly spell out success; no wonder everything is still going to shit. Codependence is not a good thing; neither is the attention they both craved from one another for whatever reason.
Then again, it wasn’t like the whole ‘Buffy and Faith relationship’ had ever been the picture of health or sanity.
“I should go,” Buffy said, moving to get up. “You need sleep…”
“Nah, stay,” Faith said, mid yawn as she stretched her arms over her head. Her eyes tried to focus on Buffy directly after that, but the blonde noticed that she was having trouble seeing her; she was probably seeing two of her. It made Faith furrow her eyebrows and shake her head before blinking a couple times, then she nodded as she affirmed silently in her head that yes, there was only one Buffy present.
Buffy frowned. This was the first time Faith didn’t want her to leave, when usually she was advocating for her to get as far away as possible. Then again, she was drunk, so her behavior was bound to be off. Really off.
“But you’re just going to be sleeping,” Buffy protested lightly. She knew Faith needed sleep. If she started wandering around the castle piss drunk like this there was bound to be some issues. Besides, she looked really tired. Party’s over, obviously.
“Then sleep with me,” Faith told her, stifling another yawn as she moved to lie at the head of her bed. Buffy’s mind involuntarily went to a dirty place when she said that and the blonde blushed. But it was a testament to how drunk, and how much Faith wasn’t paying attention, when she didn’t comment on it, nor even notice that she had just made an innuendo to build off of. “Know you’re stressin’,” she went on, burying the side of her head in the pillow. “Shit’s comin’ off you in waves,” she mumbled, closing her eyes. “Just take a nap. Fuck it.”
Yeah, Faith must be really out of it if she just offered to share her bed with Buffy. Faith didn’t even sleep with the people she… well, slept with. Buffy wasn’t even sure if Faith had ever really shared a bed with anyone for the night.
But she was right. She was wore out. Besides, Faith’s sudden, yet drunken, interest of having her in her bed intrigued Buffy.
Not for sexy reasons, obviously. For… friendly, Faith-may-be-softening-up reasons.
“Move over,” Buffy told her gently, sitting on the edge of the bed and kicking off her shoes. Faith obliged sleepily, shifting so she was on the side closest to the wall. Buffy climbed in next to her, lying so they’re face to face. Faith’s eyes were closed, but Buffy knew she could feel her looking at her. It was kind of scary how innocent she looked when she was relaxed.
They lie there in silence for a while, Buffy taking a moment to really look at Faith now that she was so close and her eyes were closed. It was such a rarity for her to be able to… she didn’t want to say take a moment to appreciate her beauty, but in all honesty it was kind of close to that. Before she knew what she was doing, she reached out, brushing a piece of chocolate brown hair away from Faith’s eyes.
“I wish you didn’t drink tonight,” Buffy admitted to her softly.
“Why?” Faith mumbled, sounding close to drifting off. Buffy took a breath, continuing to idly play with Faith’s hair. It was a rather intimate position, but Buffy found she’d rather just enjoy it than risk freaking out if she analyzed it. Besides, Faith didn’t seem to mind. Or maybe she just didn’t notice.
“Because you’re so much better than that,” Buffy told her strongly. It seemed to be enough to make Faith actually open her eyes and Buffy frowned, brushing another piece of hair away from her face. “It’s hard for me to see you like this, when…” she sighed softly, “Faith, before all this happened you were so amazing. I’ll be honest, I never really expected you to ever act like a responsible adult, but you were. The girls adored you, much more than me anyway. They loved training with you, sparring with you, slaying with you. You got up in the morning with no complaint and did what you had to do and I was… I was really proud of you.”
Faith didn’t say anything; she just looked at Buffy with expression the blonde couldn’t read.
“I know you’re hurting, I’m not diminishing that,” Buffy told her softly, making a point to look directly in Faith’s eyes so she knew she was serious. “But it kills me to see you destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to build. I’ve seen who you are Faith and I’ve seen who you can become and…” she gave her a small, yet sad smile. “I really want that Faith back. You’re too strong to become a slave to something that’s so… human.. Addiction is such a human thing and we’re Slayers, Faith. We’re better than that.” She looked her in the eyes and told her seriously, “You’re better than that.”
Buffy expected Faith to say something, anything at all, but she didn’t. Maybe it was because she was drunk, or maybe it was because something Buffy said actually touched her, but she leaned in and softly pressed her lips to Buffy’s. The blonde’s eyes went wide for a moment, but instinct kicked it and she leaned into the kiss, parting her lips as her eyes fluttered closed.
She never expected Faith to kiss so… sweetly.
It didn’t last as long as Buffy would have liked. When Faith pulled back, Buffy couldn’t stop her face from masking in confusion. It was unexpected. Faith didn’t even like women and now suddenly she was kissing the one person who used to be her mortal enemy? Awkward. It was… nice; really nice actually, but awkward.
“What…?” Buffy started, sounding perplexed.
“Was just supposed to say thanks,” Faith explained, yawning a little mid-sentence. She shrugged lightly. “Guess I did that instead. I dunno why; wasn’t really thinking about it.” She closed her eyes, snuggling into her pillow, letting out another short yawn. “Night, B.”
Buffy stared at her for a moment. That’s it? As far as answers went, that wasn’t exactly top notch. Then again, Faith was drunk and tired. There was a strong possibility she wouldn’t even remember this come morning. So Buffy let out a soft sigh, settling into her pillow.
“Night, F.”
* * *
“Thirty days,” Faith announced, slamming her sobriety medallion on the table in front of them. “Suck it, Harris. You owe me fifty large.” She grinned ear to ear as Xander grumbled something inaudible and started rifling through his pockets for his wallet.
“You bet against her?” Buffy asked, shocked. “Xander!” That was so counterproductive to what they were actually trying to achieve here.
“Hey, no; she made me!” Xander protested as he placed a fifty into Faith’s outstretched hand. Faith grinned and pocketed it as Buffy turned on her, outstretching her hands like ‘what the hell?’
“What?” Faith asked innocently, leaning against the counter. “I needed someone to bet against me; money’s a damn good motivator.” She looked to the rest of the people in the room. “So who’s got a hundred on me not makin’ it to ninety? Any takers?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. But hey, whatever worked.
Nobody seemed to want to take her bet though, so Faith turned to Buffy. “C’mon, B; whadaya say?”
“I am so not forking over a hundred bucks, Faith,” Buffy told her. She didn’t have that kind of money. “But if you go to ninety than I’ll… um…” she racked her brain for something suitable, coming up with, “I’ll take you out to dinner or something.”
“Aww, it’ll be our first date,” Faith jested. Xander, who was sulking over his loss with a bag of Doritos, started to choke on a chip. Willow had to slap him on the back to help him dislodge it and Faith laughed, explaining, “B here’s got a huge crush on me.”
“I do not!” Buffy protested, her cheeks flushing a little in embarrassment. Not because of what Faith said, but because everyone was looking at her like she had grown two heads. “Shut up, Faith. You’re such an ass,” she mumbled. Faith had been teasing her about this imaginary ‘crush’ for the last month.
Okay, the crush may or may not be imaginary, but regardless! If it was there, it was only a tiny one. Like, so miniscule it doesn’t even show a blip on the radar.
Faith grinned big. “So where ya gonna take me?” She looked so excited about something that might happen two months from now. Faith was kind of like a kid in that way though.
“Nowhere now,” Buffy mumbled grumpily, frowning at being picked on.
Faith poked her side, which prompted Buffy to slap her hand. “C’mon, where?” Faith pestered, knowing she was annoying Buffy. She continued to poke her.
“I swear to God if you poke me one more time I’m going to break your finger.”
So of course Faith poked her again.
“Faith!” Buffy exclaimed, but Faith already took off running out of the kitchen and out the backdoor. Buffy sped off after her, unable to contain the laughter.
While the last month had been hard, Faith and Buffy had grown a lot closer during it. It was probably because Buffy was the only one who was there for her through everything. Not many people put their faith in the rogue slayer during her lifetime, so it stood to reason that the first person who did would be the first person Faith actually opened up to. She didn’t say a lot, but she said enough. For someone like her, even one sentence about how she was feeling was a milestone, and Buffy was pretty sure she said at least a paragraph; which was pretty damn phenomenal. But ever since then their friendship had… grown. They actually hung out now, instead of only seeing each other during training and slaying.
And yeah, maybe Buffy did develop some sort of small, VERY small, practically nonexistent it’s so tiny… crush on her. But Faith was her first crush on a girl and the kiss was… well, more than nice. But that was it. She wasn’t like… pining after her or anything. She understood Faith didn’t swing that way so when she had fleeting moments of fantasies, Buffy kept them private. Most fantasies never come true anyway.
It didn’t matter though, any of it. In reality, the only thing that made any difference at all was Faith finally getting sober again; finally getting her life back on track. And you know what? Helping Faith do that was one of the things she was most proud of her in life.
And Buffy wouldn’t change that for the world.
- FIN -