I should add "updating lj" to my interests on facebook.
She wasn't angry, just disappointed which is just as bad. She said that she doesn't think I should be an engineer. This leads me to to a quandry. Am I in the right major? At the moment, I am hurt and angry and simply want to do well to prove them wrong. I see it like this:
A) They are right (as usual) that I shouldn't be in engineering, and I will spend up to four more years wasting my life and their money struggling in a major, which, while it is a major I like, is just not for me. It is possible that as hard as I may try (which isn't very hard at the moment) I am simply not cut out for engineering. As my mom said, "You got an 800 on your verbal SATs. There is nothing on this schedule that has to do with anything verbal." So, I could switch to something liberal artsy, which would most likely end up with my transferring. That in itself is a problem, as I would not be able to get into a school of equal or higher caliber than Tech (2.4 GPA bitches). I know this because Rachel next door had a 3.8+ and was waitlisted at UVA, W&M, and outright rejected from UNC when she tried to transfer.
B) They are wrong and I can overcome my SATs scores' prophecy (what good are they anyway?) and be a wonderful engineer who invents many wonderful things and saves the world.
[NOTE: My mom just came in and told me she loves me and thinks that I should consider something else since I have to declare my major by the end of next semester. She also neglected to close the door on her way out, which pisses me off to no end. If the door is closed when you come in (WITHOUT KNOCKING GUH), it should be closed upon exit. Where was I?]
C) They are right and I switch to some other major and am happy as a clam, and then, by some miracle, I enjoy living a life of poverty while teaching/working in Burger King/writing suspense novels from a seedy flat in the artsy district of some large city.
I would like to go with Option B.
WARNING WARNING SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH IT IS BORING*
The main reason that I want to be an engineer is that I want to make some sort of difference in the world (in terms of environment). I put a lot of thought into it, and decided that it boils down to three categories: legislation/government, informing the public, and science/technology. AP government and environmental law taught me that the government is not an effective environment-saving tool--a lack of money and a surplus of politics keep much from getting acomplished. Laws are just words; they cannot for anyone to do anything, and it is up to the government to enforce them. However, the government (federal, state AND local) usually lacks the means to do so. So, while we are better off for protective laws and acts and similar bits of paper, they can only do so much. Furthermore, I am not sneaky enough to be a lawyer or slimey enough to be a politician. And don't even get me started on international environmental policy. Informing the public is a very noble enterprise to undertake. Lobbyists, whistleblowers, pamphlet writers and so on are smiled upon by history. Of course, there is one minor flaw: the people who actually pay attention are the ones who already know what is going on. The average American neither knows nor cares about NEPA, rBST, or The Tragedy of the Commons (ask me about them...I'll give you an earful and maybe even a noseful). Most people are only galvenized into action by something that affects them directly and do not seem to care about The Big Picture (The Big Picture hangs in The Real World. Don't worry, you will get to see it when when you finish up school). My point here is that while I would love to be like Rachel Carson writing science books and such about how to save the world, nobody would read them (except for my friends and maybe my environmental law professor) (actually, I think maybe my friends would just say that they read it to make me feel good). When it boils down to it, the best possible way for me to save the world (by my reasoning) is engineering. I could bypass weak laws and public ignorance by developing new technology that would be good for the environment. Instead of trying to solve the problem, I would eradicate it. That is why I desire to be a civil and environmental engineer. That and physics is really cool. If you are still reading, congratulations. I'll autograph that science book that you'll never read. Then again, if you're still reading, you'd probably actually read my book too. I'd say I'd give you a free copy, but I suspect that I will need all the royalties I can get. Sorry.
END OF BORING PARAGRAPH. DOESN'T MEAN THERE WON'T BE MORE.
What I am trying to say here is: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME. It's so bad I don't even use proper punctuation. If I were to describe my dream life, I would be living in a small house in the country/mountains with three dogs and a cat, writing a syndicated humor column and tinkering around in my basement lab. Maybe after ten years or so I'd produce a book or two which my faithful fans would all buy and quote. Sort of like Gene Weingarten. I'd wear hoodie sweatshirts and jeans all the time and drive an old truck which I converted to run on peanut oil. I think you get the general idea here.
My mom and I talked a little more, and she was asking me what else I would want to do. The truth is, I DON'T KNOW! I like reading and writing, but I also like working out math problems and testing water. I don't want to major in something lame like Natural Resources or Park Management. I don't know what I'm good at. I take that back, I'm good at ending sentences in prepositions. Oh wait, that last sentence totally negated that. Blast.
I think I've worn myself out here. I'm still grounded until I finish unpacking. See you all when I graduate, because I don't think I will finish unpacking until I move out, and even then I don't see myself being unpacked until I've lived somewhere for a good twenty years. You know how I operate. Thanks for listening.
Crisis over (for now).
*That paragraph is actually so boring that when I read through my entry again as I am wont to do, I skipped it cause I couldn't force myself to read through it. If you read it, I am so sorry.
PS I've already been to the career services place at Tech, so if you advise me to go there I will tell you to fuck off right now and save myself the trouble of responding to your comment.
A) They are right (as usual) that I shouldn't be in engineering, and I will spend up to four more years wasting my life and their money struggling in a major, which, while it is a major I like, is just not for me. It is possible that as hard as I may try (which isn't very hard at the moment) I am simply not cut out for engineering. As my mom said, "You got an 800 on your verbal SATs. There is nothing on this schedule that has to do with anything verbal." So, I could switch to something liberal artsy, which would most likely end up with my transferring. That in itself is a problem, as I would not be able to get into a school of equal or higher caliber than Tech (2.4 GPA bitches). I know this because Rachel next door had a 3.8+ and was waitlisted at UVA, W&M, and outright rejected from UNC when she tried to transfer.
B) They are wrong and I can overcome my SATs scores' prophecy (what good are they anyway?) and be a wonderful engineer who invents many wonderful things and saves the world.
[NOTE: My mom just came in and told me she loves me and thinks that I should consider something else since I have to declare my major by the end of next semester. She also neglected to close the door on her way out, which pisses me off to no end. If the door is closed when you come in (WITHOUT KNOCKING GUH), it should be closed upon exit. Where was I?]
C) They are right and I switch to some other major and am happy as a clam, and then, by some miracle, I enjoy living a life of poverty while teaching/working in Burger King/writing suspense novels from a seedy flat in the artsy district of some large city.
I would like to go with Option B.
WARNING WARNING SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH IT IS BORING*
The main reason that I want to be an engineer is that I want to make some sort of difference in the world (in terms of environment). I put a lot of thought into it, and decided that it boils down to three categories: legislation/government, informing the public, and science/technology. AP government and environmental law taught me that the government is not an effective environment-saving tool--a lack of money and a surplus of politics keep much from getting acomplished. Laws are just words; they cannot for anyone to do anything, and it is up to the government to enforce them. However, the government (federal, state AND local) usually lacks the means to do so. So, while we are better off for protective laws and acts and similar bits of paper, they can only do so much. Furthermore, I am not sneaky enough to be a lawyer or slimey enough to be a politician. And don't even get me started on international environmental policy. Informing the public is a very noble enterprise to undertake. Lobbyists, whistleblowers, pamphlet writers and so on are smiled upon by history. Of course, there is one minor flaw: the people who actually pay attention are the ones who already know what is going on. The average American neither knows nor cares about NEPA, rBST, or The Tragedy of the Commons (ask me about them...I'll give you an earful and maybe even a noseful). Most people are only galvenized into action by something that affects them directly and do not seem to care about The Big Picture (The Big Picture hangs in The Real World. Don't worry, you will get to see it when when you finish up school). My point here is that while I would love to be like Rachel Carson writing science books and such about how to save the world, nobody would read them (except for my friends and maybe my environmental law professor) (actually, I think maybe my friends would just say that they read it to make me feel good). When it boils down to it, the best possible way for me to save the world (by my reasoning) is engineering. I could bypass weak laws and public ignorance by developing new technology that would be good for the environment. Instead of trying to solve the problem, I would eradicate it. That is why I desire to be a civil and environmental engineer. That and physics is really cool. If you are still reading, congratulations. I'll autograph that science book that you'll never read. Then again, if you're still reading, you'd probably actually read my book too. I'd say I'd give you a free copy, but I suspect that I will need all the royalties I can get. Sorry.
END OF BORING PARAGRAPH. DOESN'T MEAN THERE WON'T BE MORE.
What I am trying to say here is: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP ME. It's so bad I don't even use proper punctuation. If I were to describe my dream life, I would be living in a small house in the country/mountains with three dogs and a cat, writing a syndicated humor column and tinkering around in my basement lab. Maybe after ten years or so I'd produce a book or two which my faithful fans would all buy and quote. Sort of like Gene Weingarten. I'd wear hoodie sweatshirts and jeans all the time and drive an old truck which I converted to run on peanut oil. I think you get the general idea here.
My mom and I talked a little more, and she was asking me what else I would want to do. The truth is, I DON'T KNOW! I like reading and writing, but I also like working out math problems and testing water. I don't want to major in something lame like Natural Resources or Park Management. I don't know what I'm good at. I take that back, I'm good at ending sentences in prepositions. Oh wait, that last sentence totally negated that. Blast.
I think I've worn myself out here. I'm still grounded until I finish unpacking. See you all when I graduate, because I don't think I will finish unpacking until I move out, and even then I don't see myself being unpacked until I've lived somewhere for a good twenty years. You know how I operate. Thanks for listening.
Crisis over (for now).
*That paragraph is actually so boring that when I read through my entry again as I am wont to do, I skipped it cause I couldn't force myself to read through it. If you read it, I am so sorry.
PS I've already been to the career services place at Tech, so if you advise me to go there I will tell you to fuck off right now and save myself the trouble of responding to your comment.