(no subject)
In tallahassee i know which direction i want to head for a career but and when i leave i keep getting reminded of why i want free from a lot of things. Then after a while i realize how i really had it best in tallahassee. Without the friends here i dont know where i would be. The madness here is the best kind.
After graduating i wanted to move so badly but realized i was too scared to start my life over with new people. I moved several times growing up and because my family had to stick together I couldn't see much beyond that. I never wanted to let go of my family, i just wanted them to let go of me.
I have tried to let go of everything to fear. stopped being afraid of dying. stopped being afraid of other people thinking less of me. stopped being afraid of the people i hold close letting me go. then the other day i had to let go of a very strong fear which is in every animal. the fear of being left alone forever. of being stuck inside yourself and not knowing how to express it to the world. that's how madness gets you. thinking you're alone and not seeing the other people around who have woken up. it can be very difficult holding it together. loneliness can be an escape. but i think we can all agree that being around others who make you happy is really the best feeling.
After graduating i wanted to move so badly but realized i was too scared to start my life over with new people. I moved several times growing up and because my family had to stick together I couldn't see much beyond that. I never wanted to let go of my family, i just wanted them to let go of me.
I have tried to let go of everything to fear. stopped being afraid of dying. stopped being afraid of other people thinking less of me. stopped being afraid of the people i hold close letting me go. then the other day i had to let go of a very strong fear which is in every animal. the fear of being left alone forever. of being stuck inside yourself and not knowing how to express it to the world. that's how madness gets you. thinking you're alone and not seeing the other people around who have woken up. it can be very difficult holding it together. loneliness can be an escape. but i think we can all agree that being around others who make you happy is really the best feeling.