IAM- Ch 6/8
Chapter 6: Yamashita Tomohisa
****
September 1, 2009
-
Why does AH1N1 have to affect Japan? Ugh... I'm so groggy. I walk along the corridor lots of people were walking. I could feel my eye lids slowly falling down and my breathing cycle is low. It’s just 8 in the morning, yet I'm so tired like a horse.
I've been awake for 16 hours straight and I'm working for 13 hours. I'm absolutely sure that I'm not lifting my feet anymore; instead I'm just sliding them.
Why did I choose this profession anyway? I yawned and stretched. Any minute now, I might get fainted.
---
"Ino-Sensei (doctor), daijobou desu ka? (Are you okay?)" Someone asked me, it was a nurse. I nodded with a smile. Immediately, I frown again.
"I'm so tired... I want to go home." I said leaning against the wall.
She laughed. "I'm sure, the director would understand you ma'am."
"I hope so." I reluctantly stood up, before I fell asleep at the lobby. "One hour to go... one hour." I said at her, she smiled at me again. Then I dragged my feet closer to the vending machine, I badly need a coffee right now.
---
"OH MY GOD! Did you see them?"
"Yeah! Kyaa~!"
"I'm going to check his temperature!"
"No! I'll do it!"
I could feel my forehead throbbing, and then it made worst when I passed by the front desk, these nurses started to squeal in delight. They were hugging each other and positively they are acting like high school students.
Thank heavens I'm off now. I could take my break.
"Check his room!"
"It's on 1302"
"Oh my god! I'm going to pass that floor every day."
"Me too!!! Add to that, Nishikido is also there."
"KYAAAAA!!!!!"
This is bull.
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September 2, 2009
-
Ten hours of sleep. Could I say it’s perfect? Probably not but most definitely.
I started rotating my head as I walk through the entrance door.
"Sensei, Ohayo."
They bow in front of me; I did the same and greeted them. "Ohayo."
I accidentally passed by his office. The door was wide open.
I passed.
It means I'm no longer standing at his door. I took a step backward and grinned like a kid.
I stared at him for about seconds; he was still busy scanning with the papers.
Surely, he didn’t notice my presence.
I frowned. Nothing changes for the last 10 years.
I stood firmly and fixed my uniform.
Then I knocked.
He looked upward, and then our gazes met. I smiled at him.
"Ohayo... Otou-san."
He smiled at me, it made my day. "Ohayo, Chiaki."
"By any chance, have you eaten already?"
"Yes. How about you, Chiaki?"
"Yes sir, before I left my place." I salute at him.
I heard him chuckle and say, "good."
I smiled, "I guess I better start going, talk to you later dad... oops, I mean rijichou(chairman)"
I heard his silent chortle once more, "Sure thing."
Meet my dad. He's the medical director of this hospital.
The only family I had, the only person who stand beside me, the only person who held my hand all throughout the years.
I wonder what could happen if things start to fall out from its pieces?
---
I rotate my right shoulders as I walk on the nurse station.
Then I placed my arms and buried my face over the counter.
"Aww... poor Chiaki-sensei, I guess you’re must be really tired." I nodded.
"Sensei, gomen ne (I'm sorry.) But would you mind checking these patients? Kudo-sensei is not around."
I raised my head with creased forehead "Oh, darn that Kudo." I gritted my teeth and hastily snatch the record from the nurse and read it. "Room, 1302... Another case of AH1N1. Who wants to assist me?"
Suddenly the mediocre sound of the hallway that I'm used to when I'm around this people, abruptly changed. All of them raised their hands and say 'pick me' or 'choose me', I sighed. What the hell is happening here? This is the first time; they showed much passion towards their work.
"What's with the room 1302? And all of you are itching to enter that?"
They started to squeal. Eyes getting squinted. One of the nurses answered my question in a low voice. "Sensei~ that is the room of Yamashita Tomohisa and Nishikdo Ryo."
I stare blankly at them; their 10 fingers were clasped together. "Who are they?"
One of them gaped at me oddly. Then she asked, "Chiaki-sensei, where were you hiding all this time?"
I got perplexed by her question, I answered, "At my office?"
They all laughed and sigh wearily. "Come on sensei, we got to save them." They started to push my back; inevitably I have to drag my feet.
---
I knocked on the door and opened it. A smirked etched on my lips. I was hoping to see two grown up resting quietly, instead I saw them howling at each other over their gadget, "Is this room 1302?"
"Can't you read?" The guy with brown and perm hair answered my question. I inhale and exhale quietly to ease my anger. The nurses laughed and so do the guy beside him. "Wait a minute... I think I've seen you before."
"Of course I'm a doctor here." This time, I answered him frantically.
His eyes became squinted. He was gazing at me steadily. Shivers went down my spine. This guy is so eccentric.
"Oi Pi, you’re scaring her."
"Shut up Ryo." Oh... So this arrogant man must be Yamashita Tomohisa and the guy with jet black hair must be Nishikido Ryo. I distracted myself and sat beside him. I asked the other nurse to check temperature and blood pressure of Nishikido-san. I raised his right hand and wrap the cuff above his elbow. I place the stethoscope on my ears and started pumping the bulb. I look closely to the mini monitor as his BP starts to get higher. He was still staring at me with a smile. I felt awkward. "You're Ino Chiaki right?"
My heart leaps a beat. I suddenly forgot to breathe. "Do you know me? How did you know my name?"
"You're miss popular way back in high school. You became the vice president of the student council when we're on our junior year; became the president during our senior year at Horikoshi. You've passed the exam at the Todai (University of Tokyo) instead you decided to pursue your medicine course at Meiji. Am I right?"
My jaw dropped. I could not even count how many times I have blinked my eyes. I stood up like a soldier, and removed the stethoscope on my ears. I bow in front of him and walk steadfast. I immediately went to the rooftop. The rooftop is my place. My favorite place and my comfort place.
If this is a comfort food, this is a chocolate.
'What’s with that man?! Is he a stalker?! How did know my name and background?! Oh my god, he's so FREAKY!'
---
I pulled one nurse and interrogate her. "Who's Yamshita Tomohisa?"
"SENSEI!" She squealed. "He's a singer! They're popular here at Japan!"
I was shocked, but I didn’t show it. "Oh... Really? So does his friend, named Nishikido?"
She nodded. Then she started telling stories about them and his band mates. They pass through my right ear then emerge on my left ear.
________________________________________________________________________________
September 3, 2009
-
As a daily routine, I stopped by the lobby and drink my orange juice.
I would just sit here and watch people passing by. For me, I find this relaxing. For the reason that I could study their nature, I know I’m not a psychiatrist, however I'm fond of doing this.
"Chiaki..."
I glanced upward. Damn, it's the stalker slash patient. I hastily stood up and bow in front of him. I did not glance back and started walking towards my office.
"INO CHIAKI!" I halted. He jogged in front of me. "I just want to apologize about yesterday; I think I've scared you."
"No... Not at all..." I lied.
"That's good... I haven’t formally introduced myself to you. My name is Yamashita Tomohisa."
He raised his hand in front of me wanted me to shake it. I stare on it and smiled.
"I got to go. I have some papers to finish." I lied again then turn around, I walk much faster.
"Yamete Kudasai! (Please stop.)" What now!? I turn around and smiled at him. Or more of grinning, I hope this grin could sent him the hint that I don’t want to talk to him. "Don’t you want to know, why I know some information about you?"
It makes sense. "Yes. I want to know."
"We’re classmates. Since our first year."
My eyes wanted to fell out. Shock, yes. Embarrassed, likewise. "Ah... Ah... really?"
He groaned in agreement. "Sorry... I didn’t take time to notice you and your presence."
"It’s okay... As for Meiji, we're on the same room when we took the exam." He confessed. God, this is really embarrassing. “And I always see you around.”
“How come I never notice you before?” I scratched my head.
“It’s because you’re not observant!”
Does he have to shout on my face?
________________________________________________________________________________
September 5, 2009
-
"Sensei, the patient on 1302 is looking for you."
"Is the patient on 1302, mine? I cannot remember."
"No... They are patients of Kudo-sensei."
"He's off duty, yesterday he's here."
"Tell Kudo, not to take his break." I rolled my eyes. Even when I'm off duty, all I could think is work, and then, someone would tell me, he's enjoying his break?! Tss. "Can I read their profile?"
My eyes budge out when I find out that it was Yamashita Tomohisa's room. Oh please. Can somebody take charge of them?
"What do they want from me?"
"Pardon, sensei?"
"What does Yamashita wants with me now?"
"I don’t know ma'am."
---
I stood outside his door, should I knock or not? Those questions were battling inside my brain.
"Pi! You're doctor is here." Someone said. I shook my head. I didn’t notice, someone had opened the door for me. I've been standing there like an idiot. Poor me. I didn’t lift my face. All this time I've been looking at the floor.
I heave a sigh as I stood up in front of his bed. "What do you want?"
"Nothing... I just want to introduce you to my friends." He said happily, as always. I bow in front of them, not even looking at their faces. "This is Koyama Keiichiro, Yuya Tegoshi, Masuda Takahisa and Kato Shigeaki." They started to give me their, hi, hello's.
I looked up and greeted them, "Konbanwa (Good evening)"
"Chiaki... are you okay?" Yamashita asks.
"Yeah... I'm fine... I guess I'm just tired." The truth is, I just want to go out from this room.
"Guys... can you drive her home?"
I gave him a half smile and shook my hand in front of him. "Ah. Iie (no) I can go home by myself. Shitsureishimasu (I'm going to be rude.)"
I smiled at him and to his friends, then I walked out.
________________________________________________________________________________
September 8, 2009
-
"Chiaki-sensei! There’s an emergency at room 1302!!" Not again. I hate going to that room.
"Where's Kudo Sensei? Isn’t he the doctor assigned to that brat patient?"
Nobody answered my question. I clenched my fist. I'm going to kill Kudo, once we saw each other again.
---
I knock at the door, nobody answered. By the time I opened it. I got startled that I had to closed it again.
Somebody used the party popper, I was surprised. I went inside again. There was lots of confetti scattered on the floor. All of them we're wearing a party hat. On the middle, I saw him holding a cake.
I covered my mouth in awe. How stupid of me to forget my own birthday.
"Happii baasudei tu yu.
Happii baasudei tu yu.
Happii baasudei tu dear Chi-chan
Happii baasudei tu yu."
"Yey! Otanjoubi Omedeto!"
"Chaiki-sensei blow the candles!"
"Yey!!!"
I started to get emotional. Out of nowhere, I walked closer to him and hugged him tight. "Arigato. (Thank you)"
"Hey~ No hugging! I don’t want to be on the front page of the tabloid." He said laughing. I took a step backward and wipe the edge of my eye and chuckle lightly.
He lean closer to me, then I felt his lips touched my forehead. My heart started to pound very fast. The moment was almost perfect, until they started whistling and howling. I got embarrassed, is this a reality show? "Anytime, Aki-chan."
---
We went on the rooftop, it was one cozy party, I enjoyed it, and it was fun... and sweet. I never thought of all the people, a guy like him would do that for me.
Under the sunset. The gush of wind started to sway our hair. We stood in front of each other; I cannot clearly see his face, because of the sun.
"How did you know today is my birthday?"
"It's secret." He smiled.
"Oh... come on. Tell me."
"I forced the nurse to tell me"
It fell awkward when it spill out from his mouth. I don’t know if I find it sweet or creepy. Why does he have to do these things? What is his exact intention? I pursed my lips. The chirps of the bird take over the muteness.
He broke the silence, "Aki... would you like to go out with me?” He asked straightforward. My eyes open wide.
Is he playing tricks with me? I cleared my dry throat and smiled. “Gomen ne... I don’t go out with my patients.”
"Then... if I get discarded at this hospital would you like to go out with me?"
"Let's see..."
He grinned. "Yakusoku? (Promise)" He lift his pinky finger. I let out a light chuckle.
"Yakusoku." I entwined my pinky finger to his.
---
"I never thought you'd come." I pursed my lips and smiled at my dad. I invited him on a dinner date in this fancy restaurant.
A restaurant full of memories.
"How would I forget this fateful day? This is day when God sent us a precious and priceless gift." I sniffed. I'm getting emotional again. "Happy birthday." He handed me a small box wrapped in a beautiful ribbon.
"Thanks dad... Can I open it now?" he let out a light chortle.
"Sure."
I was astounded when I opened it. It's a white gold butterfly ring. "It's so beautiful."
"Just like your mom."
Okaa-san.
"I gave her that ring when I proposed to her 25 years ago, exactly here at this restaurant... Now, I shall give it you."
"Otou-san..."
"Happy Birthday again sweetheart."
---
"So how was your day?" dad ask before he took a bit of the steak on his fork.
"It was great!" I said as I remember the surprised party that Yamashita gave me.
"I heard, one of the patients surprised you."
"Yes."
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"No." I shook my head with narrowed eyebrow.
"Your friend?"
"A colleague is much better."
"How did you meet?"
"Well... Believe it or not, we're classmates at Horikoshi."
"So... what's his name?"
"Yamashita Tomohisa." I answered. I don’t know If I said a loud and proudly.
"How come you never spoke his name before? I cannot remember you had a friend with that name."
"That’s because, I just recently acquired the information that we're schoolmates before."
"Ah... Souka (I see.)"
"He went to Meiji as well."
"Really?" I nodded. He looked impressed. "I want to meet him."
"EH?" I laughed. "Otou-san, there's nothing going on between us."
"So, what’s his profession?'
"He's an idol. Japanese Idol."
"Japanese Idol? What's that?"
I laughed. "Otou-san, it means he's an artist."
"Ah~ I get it now. It's not my fault that I couldn’t sit in front of the television." I chuckled.
________________________________________________________________________________
My eyelids were throbbing. I groaned. Someone's at the door.
Should I get it? Or not?
Not.
---
There it goes again. Much louder than this time. Bullshit. I stood up and wobbly walked at the door.
"Good afternoon sunshine! Or should I say sleepy head?"
"What are you doing here?" I yawned.
"I went to the hospital and they said you're off duty so I went here."
"How did you know my place?"
"From my source."
"Okay... You've seen me now, you can leave already... Thank you."
"What about your promise? You’ve said we'll go on a date once I go out from that hospital."
I pursed my lips, trying to control my laughter. Of course, I remember that, how could I forget? "Really? Did I promise something like that? I cannot remember."
"Don’t worry; let me help you refresh your memory." He plucked something on his pocket. The he pressed button on the middle.
"Aki... would you like to go out with me?”
“Gomen ne... I don’t go out with my patients.”
"Then... if I get discarded at this hospital would you like to go out with me?"
"Let's see..."
"Yakusoku?"
"Yakusoku."
"You sly! How could you do that?" I laughed and slap his shoulder.
"Coz, I know you'll say that you’ll forget it."
"Tss... Jerk..." I smiled so does he. "Come on inside. Make yourself at home."
His gaze started to roam around. I kind of feel embarrassed; I haven’t clean my apartment for a while. I cannot even remember when was the last time I touched a broom. Then he asked, "Are you living alone?"
"Yup, I left our house when I was able to save my own money."
"Same here. Isn’t it fun to be independent?" He chuckled as he grabbed my Garfield stuff toy. "Do you like cats?"
"Before... It was a gift my dad gave to me when..." I paused. Why am I telling him that story? "Stay here, I'll just take my shower."
---
"So... where do you want to eat?" I asked him as I sat on the passenger side of his car. I don’t know why it came from my mouth. It just happened.
"I want ramen."
"Suit yourself I'm not that hungry." I plugged the headset on my ears and lean on the window. Out of nowhere, I felt something sliding on my neck; it was the seatbelt being pulled from its socket. I looked at him, he was inserting it on the buckle.
Why does he keep on acting nice to me? He said something, but I didn’t hear it. I removed the headset and ask him, "What did you say?"
"I said what song are you listening to?'
"Ee Byul Mot Han Ee Byul" I said happily and looked at him. He was so focus on the road. But I could see his eyes quiver.
"What's that?"
"It's a Korean song!"
"About what?"
"A Separation That Couldn't Start. It's a sad song actually."
"Oh..." He said and nodded slowly.
---
I gulped as I saw the many people inside the restaurant. "Are you sure about this? We're going to eat inside?" I don’t like crowded places, because I believe it will cause a commotion, and people are very noisy.
"Of course. I always think before I act."
He opened his door and went outside. I mimicked him. We walked forward side by side; I could feel my shoulder bumping over his. He pushed the door and we went inside. I looked downward. I always don’t like places like this. I glance upward, people are staring at us. I am so embarrassed.
---
"Can we go home already?" I ask scratching my left arm.
"Okay. It's getting late, and I need to get back to the office too."
He pulled my hand and stride steadfast. I could see the door, suddenly… Flash from camera starts to hurt my eyes, I had to close them. It's so dazzling.
He wraps his arms around me, covering me -- or more of hugging me. All of them we're calling his name. I knew this would happen!!
"Yamshita-kun, is she your girlfriend?"
'NO!!!' My brain screamed. I'm not interested on this guy!
I anticipate he would immediately contradict the question, instead I heard him snickered. "Well... I wanted to his boyfriend."
"EH?!" If only I could see my reaction on a mirror, I'm pretty it looked distorted in shocked.
Again, those flashes.
"Ino Chiaki... they say, love isn’t about searching nor waiting, it will come at the right time... and I'm sure, this is the right time, you are the right girl..." My heart is throbbing very fast; add to that, he held my fingers. I don’t know if I'm still breathing or what, this is the first time somebody had confess to me and say some sweet words like that. I don’t know how and what to react. I'm happy, yes, "I like you, Ino Chiaki... I really like you... Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
He said almost kneeling in front of me. I covered my mouth with my hands. I could feel my cheeks burning red.
"omae baka darou?(are you stupid or something?)"
He shook his head and smiled at me, "iie (no)... so would I kneel all night?"
My shoulders shrugged. I giggled a little. Then heave a silent sigh and reflect. For the past two weeks, since Yamashita Tomohisa entered my life, seriously it turned upside down. But all of the memories we had is something valuable to me. It really made me happy, should I give him a chance?
I looked at him; he was still kneeling, waiting for my answer.
"Yes." I answered breathlessly; he stood up and wrapped his arms around me.
________________________________________________________________________________
"Chiaki-sensei, rijichou (chairman) is looking for you." I swallowed hard; it is rare that otou-san would call me to his office.
-
"rijichou" I said as I stood on his door. Sometimes I am afraid to call him otou-san.
"Come in... Close the door." I did. "Let’s talk as father and daughter here..." I sat on the chair and played with my fingers.
"I was reading the newspaper." My hands started to tremble. My heart is pumping very fast. "... and I accidentally saw your picture... with a young man. I was hesitant at first, to believe that is my own daughter. Then I read the name; of course, I know my own daughter's name and face... To be honest I’m a little bit disappointed at you." I don’t have the guts to ask him why, coz I already knew the reason. Whose father would be glad if he would see his daughters face on the entertainment page of the newspaper? Furthermore she is rumored to a star. Then his tone change. It became fainter. "I'm not opposed on your relationship, but I just want to remind you that don’t mix your personal life with your career... You're a doctor, keep your professionalism." he frowned. He removed his eyeglasses and wipe his eyes.
I ask as I gave him a half smile, "is it really because of that? Or maybe you're sad because your baby is not a kid anymore?"
________________________________________________________________________________
After having that conversation with otou-san, I'm having second doubts whether I or we should continue this or not. Days have passed that it turned into weeks. Sometimes, I wonder why did I, say yes to him.
Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, Pi is the same. Slowly he was showing the real him. They say, he's shy towards the opposite sex, I concur, there's no doubt about that. But when you are able to get inside his axis, inevitably you would see his real persona. He likes to tease me, nag me, and provoke my anger. We always bicker with each other. Between the two of us, nobody wants to swallow the word 'pride'. I cannot find the sweet side of him anymore.
On second thought, did he become sweet to me?
As much as he's like that, I could not find any reason to leave him.
But I did. I tried once. I told him that it’s better if we could stay as friends and maybe he was only deluded by the time he asks me to his girlfriend.
As much as he is conceited, I did not expect to see him burst in tears. I pitied him, because it was the first time someone cried for me. He said he'll change; somehow I took back my words.
Or maybe I was in love him after all?
After that, I realized I was the deluded one. Everything went back to normal, as if the break up issue never occurred.
________________________________________________________________________________
I went to the nearby ATM machine outside the hospital, because tonight I need to pay the land lady for my monthly rent. I enter my pin number, my birthday 0-9-0-8. To my surprised, it did not accept the desire pin number. I tried many times, almost ten. Still, to no avail, the passwords did not match. My hands started to tremble as I unzip my bag. What the heck happened? I called the bank and they said, I requested to change my pin, of course I freak out! I cannot remember I did such thing! Then they gave me my 'new pin', I smirked. I already knew who the criminal is. The new pin consists of 0-4-0-9. GREAT. It was his birthday.
___
I went back to the hospital, and then a nurse informed me that he was inside otou-san's office. I could feel my pulse palpitating indifferently.
___
I waited outside his office, impatiently. Every second makes me anxious. I could not concentrate. Then the door opened, I saw him with a big grin. I stood in front of him and ask, "what did otou san said to you?"
I waited for an answer but he wrap his arms around my shoulder then started dragging me.
___
We sat in silence inside his car. My curiosity is killing me. I wanted to ask why did he changed my pin and most importantly what did my father have said. I open my mouth, "wha---"
Immediately he cut my sentence, he held the steering wheel with his two hands then he lean on it. Facing my direction but he was looking at the window. "Your dad doesn’t like me."
I laughed. "Same here... Like father, like daughter."
"I know you do." I don’t know if it was a joke. But I laughed again. Then I heard him sigh. "What should I do to please him?"
I stretch my hands and touch his hair. I started twirling it over my fingers. "It’s not that otou-san doesn’t like you... It's because we only got each other, and he realized I have to grow up too."
He smiled at me and held my hand. I felt his lips brush over the back of my palm.
________________________________________________________________________________
With the hairbrush on my left hand, I started to wiggle my head and smile widely. He was trying his best to act seriously as he drive, but he was biting left his hand, restraining his self not to laugh. I open my mouth and sing.
"Take me out tonight... Because I want to see people and i... Want to see life" My voice was in high pitch, trying to get his attention.
He laughed. "You really love to sing in a frog-voice?"
"Of course!" I grinned. "You should sing too." I commanded and place my brush on his mouth level. "It's a song, that should be sung by duet."
"But I don’t know the lyrics."
"Search and memorize it."
"AHH~ I'm too lazy..."
"Tss... but how come you can memorize your lines when you're acting?"
"It's work... not singing in the car with you." he hooted.
"Ooh... driving in your car..." I touched the tip of his shoulder with my fingers. Then I laughed really hard. He got his eyebrows, wrinkled.
"Do you have to say it in seductive way?" He laughed. "That is so disgusting."
"Hidoi! (That's mean)" I pout and gritted my teeth. I looked outside and huffed. "Look who's talking."
"What?!"
"I did not say anything."
"Yes, you did. I hear you."
"If you heard me, then why are you asking it again? Stupid."
"Just because."
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.
"Boku? (informal of 'I' or 'me'; only use by male) disgusting?" he chuckled lightly. It was intimidating one.
I faced him with creased forehead. "Good. I never thought you'd hear me, but I'm glad you do."
I grimaced and look at the window again. Ugh! Is he numb?!
"Nande? (Why?)"
"Why? You're asking me why?!" My voice started to get louder. "Being you is so disgusting! You kissed any girls, just to earn money! You're exposing your naked body on a magazine, do you think all ladies were drooling over you?!"
"Don’t you find your work more disgusting?! You dissect people’s body as if you’re experimenting with a frog!"
"WELL, IT’S WORK!!"
"IT'S WORK EITHER!!"
My eyebrows furrowed. I could feel my heart is pounding because of anger. "Stop the car." He didn’t. Instead he speeds off. I got more irritated. "I said stop the car!" he pulled to the side. I opened the door and slammed it. I started to walk away from him. I heard he step out, as well.
"CHIAKI!" I did not turn around. "INO CHIAKI!!" his voice became more louder. Still I did not look back. "Will you stop and listen to me first?!"
I turn around and looked at him. I am so angry that tears started to fill my eyes. "THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT! YOU STUPID MORON!"
"It just slipped on my mouth okay? I know it’s my fault."
"What is done cannot be undone!"
"CHIAKI! Stop being childish, okay?!"
"Just leave me alone!"
"FINE! We'll have it your way!"
And he did left me and to my stupidity, I left my whole purse inside his bag. How am I supposed to go home like that? GREAT!
___
Few hours later, which I've thought it was eternity. I've never been tired like this. I kept on walking. I feel like I'm walking on nowhere. I'm still walking on the same highway. I could feel my feet have blisters. I'm thirsty. I'm tired. Sooner or later, I would probably faint. After all, it’s my fault too. Why did I shout at him? And say stuff like that towards his work. I think I've provoke his anger this time. I've crossed the line.
I am so childish.
Out of nowhere someone hugged me from behind. I smiled. I've been waiting for so long. "Chiaki... Gomen ne, I know I'm stupid, I didn’t mean to shout at you. I'm so sorry. I'm really really sorry."
I turn around and face him. I kissed his forehead. "It's not your fault, its mine. I yelled at you. I called you stupid, but the truth is, I'm the one who is stupid. I'm so sorry."
________________________________________________________________________________
November 1, 2009
-
Pi knocked on the door twice. He was holding my hands, as it trembles. We were standing outside their door-his family’s house. Someone open it for us, it was her sister. I smiled. His mom, popped out of nowhere, then gives me a big hug and kiss.
I stood there frozen. I started to sob a little. Pi held me closer to his chest. I heard his mom and sister panicked. Oppose to that, he started to explaining stuffs to them.
I remember two people in my life: okaa-san, Ayame.
___
"Welcome to the Yamashita residence!! And now, let the annual pumpkin carving begin!" Rina screeched happily. Then she passed the pumpkin to me and to Pi. It’s a routine, he said, for their Yamashita’s.
___
"Times up! Up! Up!" She clapped her hands. I made a smiling face for my pumpkin. Pi was laughing a mischievous one as he raised his pumpkin. It looks like a devil pumpkin.
“Onii-san, what’s that?”
“This is Aki, when she’s angry.” He laughed again, so do his sister and mom. I pouted.
___
“Pi do you think I could be a great doctor like that?”
“Of course you are, you’re Ino Chiaki.”
“Sometimes… I doubt my capabilities… and sometimes I feel like quitting.”
“If you quit what would you do?”
“I don’t know.”
“How about you write some stories? Write happy stories.” I reflect on what he said, writing is out of my forte. But it made me thought hard. “Write happy stories with you as the leading lady… just as what you are to me now.”
I laughed. “You mean, I’m the leading lady of your life?”
He nodded with pursed lips. “Write our story too.”
___
We lay down on his bed, side by side, facing each other. He was stroking my hair at the back of my ears. I cleared my dry throat, “do you remember the time when we first meet at the hospital?” we smiled at each other. He chuckled lightly. “All you said was correct, but you missed a thing or two.”
“What?”
“Actually… I have a sister.”
“Really? Would you mind introducing me to her?” he said with a laugh. I punch his chest. We chuckled nonchalantly.
“She’s dead… long time ago.”
He looked at me with awe. “Oh… I’m sorry.” His voice fainted. He stretched his fingers until it touched my crestfallen face. He wiped it with his thumb. I didn’t realize, I was crying.
“I was four years older at her… She died when she was 6; I was turning 10 back then… I remember she told me once… she said; she wanted to be a teacher… Sometimes, I wonder what if she’s still alive today. I bet we’ll be the best of friends, or maybe we could work at the same place… or she could be my sidekick, perhaps… there’s a possibility that we could fight over one guy.” I can’t breathe. He pulled me closer to him and hugged me tight. “Then… just like Ayame… mom left me too… maybe… Ayame and mom don’t love me, that’s why they left me… then I told myself, I won’t let anybody die in my hands. I’ll try… I’ll try my best to save them.”
“Shhh… Don’t cry… Don’t worry, I’m always here… I won’t leave you.”
________________________________________________________________________________
I was about to sleep when my hand phone vibrated under my bed. It was Pi. I smiled.
“Take me out tonight. Where there’s music and there’s people, and they’re young and alive
Driving in your car. I never never want to go home. Because I haven’t got one. Anymore…~” I chuckled and blushed. “Remember this song? This is the reason of our recent fight.”
“Yeah… baka (stupid) why did you call? It’s already three in morning.”
“Coz, I know you’re still awake and I woke up from a hilarious dream.”
“What is it?”
“It’s actually about you.”
“Great.” I said cynically. “So what was it about?”
“I’ve dreamt of you being the leading lady of all my dramas.” I snorted and our laugh harmonized with each other.
________________________________________________________________________________
December 24, 2009
-
“Tomorrow is Christmas…” I bit my lower lip as I played with the pasta on plate. Twirling it with my fork, he looked upward cutting the pasta with his teeth.
“So?” He said as if tomorrow is nothing special, I smirked.
“Aren’t you going to give me a present?”
“For what?”
“I just said its Christmas tomorrow!! And Christmas is the time of sharing… I’m not asking for something big, even it’s a just a letter I’m already satisfied with that.”
“Do I really have to write one?” He grimaced. I exhale loudly. Irritated-yes!
“Yes… To compensate for all the problems you gave me! For the entire displeasing attitude you showed me!”
“Fine… tomorrow, I’ll give it to you! Geez, how annoying!”
“… and… aren’t you going to invite for a lunch tomorrow?”
“I’ll try… But I can’t promise… but let’s meet here tomorrow, lunch time.”
“You always try, why don’t you do it for real?!”
___
December 25, 2009
-
I sat outside the café. The weather was fine. A little blizzard. I glanced on my phone for the 40th time. My eyebrows would get narrower every time I would open it, finding no message from him. While waiting for him, I reevaluate this relationship again. Can we take this relationship to the next level when both of are acting like this?
I'm tired already. I snorted as my phone vibrated -- finally... It's him. I flip my phone and answered it, "Chi-chan... I'm on my way. I’m sorry."
"Don’t go to the cafe anymore." I said in a flat tone.
"I said I'm sorry!"
"I know you’d be late, that’s why I didn’t wait." I lied.
"Yesterday... I said I'll try and I can’t promise... However I'm giving you my effort!"
“So you mean I'm the one who's making the effort for this?! If I were you I would stop making promises! You said you'll give me a letter, but I still haven’t read anything!”
“What?! I sent you a letter.”
“Now, you’re telling lies?! I haven’t received anything! You know what, for past months that we started dating each other, this is the first time you’ve forgot about simple things you’ve promised to do!”
“Stop being childish okay? I said I’m sorry and I’m really busy. How could I lie to you? I said I sent the letter.”
“No letter. Nada… You know what, I'm tired already... Let’s stop fighting... Let’s end this too... before we could hurt each other more."
"Chiaki!"
"I know, you won’t make the letter too... we really need to end this."
“I said I’ve sent you the letter!”
I sigh. "Pi... stopped lying... Let’s just talk later. I wished you a Merry Christmas."
"Chi---"
I turned off my phone. When I got back to the hospital, I instructed the nurse not to receive any call for me. I am so mad at him, it’s just a simple letter! It won’t hurt to write, right?
___
"Sensei! Will you check on this? He's seriously hurt. I think he might not survive, he loss lots blood!" I walked on the ER as I slip on the gloves over my fingers.
I walked closer to the patient, then I stopped as I glimpse on his face. Initially I became statue. My world suddenly stopped rotating. I cannot move my hand or my feet. My heart was throbbing really fast, that it may fell out of its rib cage. The image in front of me became haze. I am nervous as hell! His bed was covered with lots of blood.
My body did not harmonize with my brain. I lose control.
"PIIIIII!!!!!!!!!" I run and shriek out. I panicked. I don’t know what I am doing anymore. I grabbed the nearest paddle and put it on his chest. His body bounces up and down, I was waiting for him to complain, but I didn’t hear anything. It made me weaker.
I acted like crazy. I kept on sobbing and howling.
I climb on his bed and started punching his chest. "Pi!!! You can’t leave me!!! You still haven’t sent me the letter!! You moron! Pi!!!! You can’t die!!!"
"Pi!!! You can’t leave me!!! You've promise me!! Pi!!!" Someone pulled my left arm. Then slap my face that it throws on the other side. It was otou-san. I shove his arm and run at Pi again. I hugged him very tight, as if I don’t want to let go
"PIIII!!!!! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR ME!! YOU CANT DIE! PIII!!!! "
"CHIAKI!" he yelled and pulled my arms for the second time. "Get a hold of yourself!!" I did not listen to him. I cried. I know he knows the feeling of this, why can’t he understand?! My boyfriend is dying in front of me! Tell me how can I keep my composure?! How can I not act like crazy?! "GET CHIAKI OUT OF HERE! IT’S AN ORDER!"
I could feel my knees sliding on the floor; they were dragging me outside the room. I stood up and went back to his bed. I pushed otousan and kneel in front of Pi again, in a croaky manner, I whisper, "I haven’t told you this before... demo (but), kimi wo aishiteru. (I love you)" I buried my face on his bed, waiting for a response. But there wasn’t. I went to my dad and plead in front of him.
"OTOU-SAN! I’m begging you, please save him! PLEASE!"
A loud beep echoed along the ER. My brain almost exploded when I looked at the monitor.
The line went flat straight. I was dumbfounded. My dad shook his head. "We did our best Chiaki... But I guess, it wasn’t enough after all."
He held me by my shoulder and nodded. "I'm sorry."
___
After his last two words, I went completely blank. Everything hurts. I cannot breathe. I feel like dying as well. Even breathing makes me choke. Because of my foolishness and stubbornness, again someone had left me.
I twist the door of my apartment. Even his smell starts to linger here. I could not cry any longer, I felt my tear gland was dried already.
I started crawling on the ground like a baby.
And I wept.