a moment
I'm really struggling with the changes. I found myself wanting to talk to her, to share things from day, that I knew she would find interesting, laugh, and we could talk.
I know that the abby that I married is no more, what we had is gone.
Today more pieces of our life together, very mundane pieces, a bank account, the cell phones, peeled away. Each severing hurts. It doesn't make sense, I have been so angry and so hurt, and then I feel so much sadness, it just hurts so much.
This is the way things are, this is the direction things are going. There's no turning back anymore, there hasn't been. Everytime I think that there is a possibility of communication, I know that it isn't actually there. It's something that I am reaching for. I wish that I didn't have these moments of hope. That this would just end. I could start to move on. We talked about building a house out here.
Again, I know that this is all dead. It's just so hard to accept. But in time, I will.
I know that the abby that I married is no more, what we had is gone.
Today more pieces of our life together, very mundane pieces, a bank account, the cell phones, peeled away. Each severing hurts. It doesn't make sense, I have been so angry and so hurt, and then I feel so much sadness, it just hurts so much.
This is the way things are, this is the direction things are going. There's no turning back anymore, there hasn't been. Everytime I think that there is a possibility of communication, I know that it isn't actually there. It's something that I am reaching for. I wish that I didn't have these moments of hope. That this would just end. I could start to move on. We talked about building a house out here.
Again, I know that this is all dead. It's just so hard to accept. But in time, I will.