Can't Stop
How can one feel two things that are completely opposite to each other as the same time about the same thing? I have a desire to stop doing this to myself, because I know it's not "right" and I know I'm not supposed to do it. But at the same time, I want to do it over and over again. I want to do it better, and deeper and harder...all the time, never fails. I don't understand myself...I don't understand how I can love and hate this at the same time. I don't understand why I do it, why I want to do it, why I HAVE to do it. Anyways, I just needed to get that out.