pessimism at the worlds end
i cant stop thinking that this is the worst things have ever been. it seems impossible, but my senses are corrupted by an unyielding negativity that i can't seem to break no matter how hard i try. i've given up the desire to improve my condition. i'm lonely. i'm dead tired. no one really seems to care, much less reach out to help. every day i deal with the fact that everything i do is completely inherent. i live my life in the way that i do because i've been doing it for so long. simply put, this is all i've ever known. and so i've become so bitter that i lash out at everyone who pisses me off even slightly. it makes me miserable. i'm not that smiling kid anymore. i'm not the kid who tried to bring people together, i don't want to save the world or anyone in it. i'm not content. i'm hurt. things are very very bad and i don't have the energy or the knowledge of how to make it better right now. i just don't know where to go from here.