Never knew I could feel like this...
So I have a boyfriend now. The boy who gave me those ridiculously wonderful things on Valentines Day and refused to let me go, despite my uncertainty. It was our one-week-anniversary yesterday. I have no words, just happiness and love for the world.
Now I still do despise those stupid love-sick teenagers who are gushy and gross and ugh. But he's so special. He's guided me through so much and I was just so scared to have feelings for him (or anyone) but everything feels so right now. It's all okay.
Weird to think that a little more than a year ago, I entered this Hell that I could never get rid of. Depressed, suicidal, lonely little bugger, and I don't blame my friends for leaving me or no one talking to me.
But all at once, I grew balls out of nowhere. I became the girl I've always wanted to be, a real musician and lover of love and art and literature. A cultured, non-druggy hippie chic who fights for what's right and refuses to conform.
My aunt had really been the only one I could talk to, but some of the time she made me feel so selfish that there'd be literally no one I could tell things to, no love to share or shoulders to cry on. But if she ever gave me any advice worth keeping, it'd be this: "You have to love yourself before anybody can love you." And it's true. Really.
This whole month is so strange. It's like I'm living someone else's life, but for once in a good way. I'm in a lovely dream 24/7, and I just feel more beautiful. It's so wonderful. I'm probably rambling on and on about things I don't even know because I'm STILL in this crazy cloud of love. I could chant a thousand Beatles lyrics right now and it would still not touch on any of these feelings I have. So I'll just stop now XD
I've got the SAT next weekend and more craziness ahead. Oh and this other boy, the reaaaally cute one whom I'm teaching guitar, keeps flirting with me really obviously... O____O *hums 'Layla'* Srsly, a boy's never been interested in me in my whole life and all of a sudden TWO beautiful guys.... FDSAIUFHADUFA Peace & love & luck & LOVE to you ALL <3 I'm sincerely sorry if you're hurt at all by any of this, I REALLY don't mean to brag!! D8 It's just I needed to write some shit down XD Love you all <3