(no subject)
Double update tonight! Although this one is not chock-full of fic goodness. It is basically just an excuse for me to stay on my computer longer in hopes of some facebook responses/updates. Really, I just want this here to remind me, tomorrow morning, when I am too tired to keep my eyes open, that clinging to one's laptop, the way people used to cling to phones waiting for calls, is really just pathetic. And that I should stop doing it.
UGH, I CAN'T STOP MYSELF THOUGH. Two of my best friends from high school and I are having a spirited discussion in the comments section of a facebook picture, and the fact that I have been in love with one of them for the last five years is preventing me from doing the smart thing and going go sleep. You know when you only have one way of contacting someone you really like/care about? And even if it's something as pathetic as (mostly) impersonal comments transferred over the internet, you cling to it, because it's your only way of feeling close to someone? Yeah, what I am going through right now. My whole face lit up every time I saw that I had a new notification earlier this evening. And even though I am going to be sitting here, like a tool, waiting for responses and ultimately being the last to comment because I am incapable of leaving things alone, I can't help myself. If there's even a possibility that I can continue a conversation with this guy, I am going to do everything I can to make that happen. Even if I recognize it as a pathetic replacement to, you know, actually conversing with him/having a relationships/having anything that leaves me less than heart-broken whenever he ignores me.
God, I am a mess when it comes to relationships. Thanks, ipod shuffle, for reinforcing that by playing "Love Will Tear Us Apart" at this moment.
UGH, I CAN'T STOP MYSELF THOUGH. Two of my best friends from high school and I are having a spirited discussion in the comments section of a facebook picture, and the fact that I have been in love with one of them for the last five years is preventing me from doing the smart thing and going go sleep. You know when you only have one way of contacting someone you really like/care about? And even if it's something as pathetic as (mostly) impersonal comments transferred over the internet, you cling to it, because it's your only way of feeling close to someone? Yeah, what I am going through right now. My whole face lit up every time I saw that I had a new notification earlier this evening. And even though I am going to be sitting here, like a tool, waiting for responses and ultimately being the last to comment because I am incapable of leaving things alone, I can't help myself. If there's even a possibility that I can continue a conversation with this guy, I am going to do everything I can to make that happen. Even if I recognize it as a pathetic replacement to, you know, actually conversing with him/having a relationships/having anything that leaves me less than heart-broken whenever he ignores me.
God, I am a mess when it comes to relationships. Thanks, ipod shuffle, for reinforcing that by playing "Love Will Tear Us Apart" at this moment.