Generation Two: Part 16.1
“I’ll be just a few minutes. Do not get out of the car.”
My mother nodded lazily in her seat, her eyelids heavy and threatening to close. She had no idea how happy I was that she was coming down from her high. Oh my god, the woman had been off the wall at the beach house!
They all were, really. Sometime after the gifts and the munchies came out, the music had gotten louder and in turn, they had too. Van wandered around the porch laughing his weird little head off, a beer in each hand, dancing by himself as he chattered away. There were some interesting conversations to be had, apparently. I won’t even get into that, there’s just not enough time in the day for me to try and explain what the hell was going on there.
Sloane was in good spirits without the need for booze (though I suspect if she could she’d be just as hammered as the rest of them) but her lover, the quiet one called David was as usual fairly quiet. Soused, but quiet. He mostly kept to himself with a drink at all times, just listening to the music and watching the rest of us move around him. I couldn’t be sure of what, but it seemed he had a lot on his mind. Only time will tell, I suppose.
How well did I fare on this occasion, you’re probably wondering?
I, Drake Cutler, despite being (happily) drinkless, fared pretty well I have to say. I spent a good while just laughing at their mindless chatter and giggles, the seeming lack of proper balance as they stumbled around. Well, sans my sister of course. She and I were probably the only ones able to walk away and remember everything that happened.
She wasn’t so bad after all.
Now, what was it my mother had wanted? Ha, who am I kidding? Aimee had asked for pretty much everything.
I grabbed an armful of cookies and two kinds of chips -unruffled, she hated them. Along the way to the cash I picked up another tin of coffee, some extra strength aspirin as I was pretty sure she was going to need it, and a whopping king size chocolate bar for myself.
That was when I saw him. Standing there in his familiar sweater vest at the end of the aisle, and as luck would have it, right in my way. Suddenly I wanted nothing to do with my chocolate or my mother’s stash of junk food.
No, nothing at all, because all I wanted to do was run. But where, and how? He was feet from the door and would hear my heavy footsteps long before I made it.
Oh sweet fucking hell! How the heck was I going to get out without him seeing me? And if he did see me, what would he do? Would he chance grabbing me in the middle of the store with the cashier standing right there?
Maybe if I just left the stuff right there and walked around the other aisle, being as quiet as I could going to the door I would be alright. Sure, he would probably look up when the door makes that god awful beep, but if I ran I could be out of sight by the time he lifts his creepy eyes to look.
Right? That could work?
It had to. It wasn’t like I had a lot of options.
“What’s wrong?”
“Drake, what’s wrong?” she pressed, straightening in her seat. “You’re driving like a maniac!”
“Are you going to tell me or not?”
I didn’t want to. Drunk or not I couldn’t see the revelation helping anyone. I’d much rather she be nervous and in the dark then nervous because she thinks someone’s coming for us.
But, if I happened to come up missing she would know who…
No. It wasn’t going to come to that. Kennedy hadn’t actually seen me, so he wouldn’t know I was around to kidnap again. It was just some strange coincidence that we happened to be in the same store tonight.
Yes. A coincidence. Nothing more, nothing less.
~ * ~
Jesse had never been the sentimental type. For most of his life he hadn’t felt much of anything but anger. His attempts to rid himself of it, surrounding himself with good people to blur the lines between the good and bad days didn’t seem to be enough most of the time. When it got to be too much he asked himself why he was giving into their wants and desires. Why was he letting them live their happy lives where he apparently didn’t exist, when he was somewhere in the background with a team of nannies and tutors wishing for death? Shit, when he thought about it he was no less an orphan than Sloane had been.
Sloane. That girl had saved him. Unknowingly she pulled him out of that dark place he’d been drowning in for over a decade, giving him something to do, something to challenge him. He turned his attention from the drugs, from hard drinking and fucking every good looking girl that gave him the eye. Something had been different about her, something promising. Sure, back then he was certain it was the promise of getting laid, but eventually he figured out she was more than that. A real pain in the ass, but more nonetheless.
Tonight as he watched her heavy eyes flirting with the idea of sleep he couldn’t help but feel a bit ridiculous. Confused, but somehow at the same time, completely sure. Not about love, no -Jesse had no fucking clue what that was. He didn’t dare utter those words to her on the chance he could be wrong. But he did need her. Whether she was aware or not, she had given him a small piece of what he’d been looking for all those years ago. When he fucked up, when he did something absolutely stupid, she still had his back. As long as he deserved it, that is.
“Do you want me to take you home?” he asked softly, her painted lashes fluttering again in attempt to rouse herself. His tanned hand a weak contrast against her skin brushed the hair from her face. She smiled nuzzling closer for warmth. “You’re going to fall asleep.”
“No,” she whispered, the heat of her breath warming his face. “This is good.”
She didn’t care. She didn’t want to move from that spot nor leave the sanctity of the quiet ruins. He understood without the need for her to say it. These days home had a certain weight to it. A caramel colored grey-eyed weight called David. That pussy bitch.
Admittedly he didn’t want to release her to him just yet. Or ever. Dave might be good to her, quite stable and everything she deserved to have, but Jesse couldn’t stand the thought of it. It was bad enough that she was having his baby, someone who would no doubt be just as big a pushover as its dad, but he was certain in time she would become just like everyone else. Sloane shouldn’t be a regular housewife with a kid and a slew of chores to juggle every day, the only thing to look forward to the dark of night and a comfortable mattress. Jesse wanted her to have so much more, something big. Something where he fit in just fine.
If it were my kid, he thought, she could do whatever she wanted to, and when. They would still perform, maybe keep chasing the dream of stardom and raise it on the road. All the places they could see and the people they could get to know, doing what they loved... just sounded fantastic. Jesse smiled to himself, looking at her again.
It quickly faded in the realization none of that mattered. It didn’t matter how he would be different because it wasn’t going to happen. That baby -fucking scary and alien to him, was Dave’s and would always be his no matter how much he wished otherwise. And that was the thing, he didn’t even want to be a dad. He didn’t want kids, ever. But if it had happened, with her, he could do it. Maybe.
“Christ,” he grunted under his breath. “I’m going fucking soft.”
No, Jesse wasn’t usually sentimental. Having brought her out in the middle of the woods to see the place he’d fled to as a troubled teen freshly transplanted to Bridgeport was purely for something different to do, just as the birthday gift tucked under the seat in the jeep was like all the others: meaningless.
Ugh, soft indeed. Sloane was going to be thoroughly surprised.
~ * ~
Wet asphalt caught reflections of the overhead lamps beneath the shingled canopy, a nearby neon light flickering inconsistently in the office window with a horrendous buzz licking at my last nerve as I slowly dialed the number. Through the streaky grime I caught a glimpse of red as Jesse leaned towards the older man behind the counter, laughing at god knows what, the sound failing to reach me inside the car. For the better, of course.
Taking one last breath I pressed the final digit, lifting the phone to my ear. The dull chime rang and rang again, the owner clearly busy -which I already knew, waiting on the voice mail to pick up. I swallowed preparing myself.
“Hey hon, it’s me,” I tried to sound optimistic yet tired when I could finally speak. “I won’t be home tonight; I came to visit my mom and Drake and after playing all those games and the movies I’m just dead tired.” A door closing nearby caught my attention, Jesse coming out of the office with the key in his hand. He smiled, jingling it in the air as he waved.
“So I guess I’ll see you sometime in the morning. Don’t call when you get this message, you’ll just wake me up. I love you.” I hung up just as Jesse climbed into the car, dropping the room key in the console between us.
“Everything okay?” he asked throwing the car into reverse. I offered a weak smile and nodded, unsure if I was making the right decision.
“You know, you don’t have to stay here. I said I’d take you back if you really want me to.”
But I didn’t want him to. There was nothing that could make me want to go back to the beach house pretending everything was just peachy when all I wanted was to sneak off and crawl into the bed of the neighboring bedroom.
I’d done it once nights before. In his arms sleep took me effortlessly, his warm skin against mine feeling much like coming home after a long vacation. Despite the pounding of our hearts he simply held me, my head on his shoulder with legs and hands entwined in a silent acceptance. I hated the thought of leaving him when the alarm went off in the morning, losing the warmth he radiated and the soft touch of his lips pressed to mine. Most of all I missed his scent, the contentment his arms provided. The way his eyes lingered on me from the doorway, tearing himself away to go to work. I lay there long after I heard the jeep pull away from the house unwilling to break the feeling being in his presence had left me, narrowly missing a suspicious confrontation with David in the hallway later. That had put a stop to things real fast.
“I want to stay with you,” I insisted looking up at the darkened windows. “It’s just I wish it didn’t have to be here, like you’re sneaking away to get your rocks off with some cheap whore.”
Jesse laughed shaking his head, “It’s not like that. You didn’t bring your keys and you said yourself Aimee would think it’s strange I’m camping out with you there. Besides, I didn’t bring you here to mess around. I just want you to have some time to yourself, to think or not think; whatever it is you need.”
On the second floor the eighth room sat alone and dark at the far end of the upper walkway, a small one bed unit with an equally small bathroom off the right of the main area. It was both cleaner and nicer than I was expecting judging by the outside appearance, and decidedly well updated. The television seated atop the low dresser was fairly modern and large as the little microwave was stainless steel.
“Nice digs,” he scanned the room approvingly and dropped onto the end of the bed like a bag of bricks. The mattress groaned beneath the sudden tension of his weight.
Abandoning my shoes and stiff skirt beside the door (seriously, why had I worn that stupid thing?) I wandered away climbing onto the bed beside him. I was hopelessly tired, the second trek through the woods taking away the last of my already draining energy. If I was a car I would be puttering along the highway running solely on the fumes.
Jesse collected me in his arms gently pressing my head to his chest, the heart beneath strumming loudly against my ear, a lullaby of sorts, ushering me closer to sleep. I sighed, nuzzling closer allowing my eyes to close.
“What?” he asked, warmth flashing across my forehead in a whisper.
“I wish we could run away. Just you and me,” I breathed. Thick fingers swam through my hair, the heavy locks drawn away from my face in the most loving manner I’d ever felt. His lips briefly brushed the hairline in a soft kiss.
“Imagine it; big coats and mittens with hats on our heads, snow falling down around us. Behind us the mountains massive and a beautiful grey-blue stand proud against the clear sky; it smells of pine and spruce, of the pure clean air as nature intended,” I went on, smiling at the sight of it all in my mind’s eye. “And there you are, messy hair sticking out of your striped knit hat wearing the brightest smile. I no longer see the mountains or the trees, the pretty snow. It’s just you.”
Jesse laughed softly, the throaty purr like music to my ears.
“Never pegged you for the snowy mountains type. Though, I think you would’ve liked my home town. We got a lot of snow every winter and with it came the carnival. I remember the snowman-lined streets and plastic sleds littering the front yards in bright colors,” a lazy smile on his lips as he recounted the few good memories of his childhood. “My neighbor used to go all out at Christmas time. He had this fucking huge blue spruce on the front lawn close to the driveway, and he would climb that thing to string the lights himself! But he wouldn’t use colored lights, just the white ones. There was this amazing purity about them, somehow. I looked forward to it every year. It was the one thing I knew would always be the same.”
It sounded lovely. Maybe one day he could take me there and show me where he’d grown up, even if it was riddled with bad memories. We could avoid them, taking care to only see the good things that had kept him afloat, and in the end, make our own positive ones to leave behind.
“But honestly, babe,” he chased away the memories, tightening his arms around me. “When you’re ready to run I don’t care where you’re going, just say the words and my shit is packed. Screw the shop, screw my job -screw it all.” I closed my eyes again, reveling in the new swimming feeling in my chest, the sweet tightening returning.
God I love you! my heart screamed. Tomorrow; sundown. We’ll disappear. Just you and me.
Ah, if only. I’d give anything to belong solely to him. If he cared about me, if he loved me the way I loved him, I could get through anything.
“What about Van and the band? Is there nothing you would regret leaving behind?”
He shrugged, a weak shuffle beneath me.
“Van could come, too. The rest I can live without. It’s not like I’ve got family or anything; you’re the best thing I’ve got.” He paused, casting his eyes away nervously. “Really, there’s no me without you.”
Silently I caressed his face, the late-night stubble more prominent along his jaw line, scruffy hairs grating my skin. When we were younger I had hated it. It caught my hair, burning me if he moved too quickly while close, and if on my skin too long left a flushed red rash glaring and ugly. Now that he was older and filled out everywhere rather nicely I liked the scruffy look on him. He was much more a man, hard-bodied and a sight for sore eyes, the very vision of my heated daydreams.
“You keep talking like that you’re going to make a girl fall in love with you.”
Jesse smiled and shrugged carelessly, green eyes twinkling behind messy locks. Gah, love it. The messier the hair, the better. Maybe I just liked bed hair.
“That’s alright, I wouldn’t mind a fan club.”
“How can you have one when no one loves you more than you do?” I laughed running my hand along his chest in search of a nipple. When I found one I gave a small pinch, tugging it as I moved away to stand up. Jesse let out a yelp and rubbed it, eyeing me across the room.
“You’re going to regret that, you little turd,” he warned with a crooked smile. “Come ‘ere.”
I shook my head and backed further away smiling devilishly at him, “No way. My name’s Sloane, not stupid.”
In an instant Jesse had launched off the bed with minimal effort and I went tearing across the carpet giggling and screeching like a school girl. He chased me around the bed several times, over the top of it and into the bathroom. I had tried to close myself away in there but he’d barged through the door before I could get the lock latched, nearly falling into the bathtub. I took my leave back into the main room, though, I didn’t get far.
Jesse grabbed my shirt as I high-tailed it from the tiled floor to the carpet, the stretchy fibers yanking me back easily setting me off kilter. I tripped over my own feet and went down, skidding across the carpet on the side of my face. Jesse tumbled over the top of me landing nearby.
Talk about fucking graceful.
“Fuck, Jesse!” I cried sitting up holding the burning flesh. “I’m going to have rug burn on my face!”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he chuckled crawling across the floor to check the damage. “Aww, let me see.”
Gently he pulled my hand away and looked it over, tilting my head into the better light. I watched him from the corner of my eye, his narrowing as he inspected his sort-of handy work. Man, he was so beautiful.
“It’s actually not that red, considering. You got some serious air though,” he teased, pressing his lips to the flushed skin. It was anything but soothing. “Does that make it feel better?”
I pouted feigning hurt. “No. You better try here,” I insisted, lightly tapping my lips.
He leaned in pressing his lips to mine, the corners curling delightfully into a content smile. Painted hands came up to frame my face, fingers disappearing into masses of black hair. Instantly the butterflies awoke in my middle, fluttering madly in the tight space until they abandoned it for my chest. It ached but it was a good pain, the kind only he stirred with just a kiss.
But this one wasn’t like the others. His tongue hadn’t darted through my lips searching hungrily in desperation, heavy breath surging through his nose as he fought to restrain the building high. Tonight he was patient, willing to take the time to appreciate the taste and the satiny texture, the way his body reacted to this strange new gentle intimacy. In one fluid movement he pulled me onto his lap holding us tightly together.
I leaned my head back closing my eyes, supple lips moving down my neck. They hovered tauntingly at the collarbone, gently nipping the flushed flesh with exposed teeth; the pinch sent my senses afire and I moaned, surprising even myself. Jesse’s hands moved anxiously at the small of my back, fingers kneading the skin beneath my top. I was falling fast, my conscience and the floor beneath me drifting away.
“You taste so good,” he breathed huskily into my neck, the heat rushing over my skin. Goosebumps spread across my chest like a flash flood.
Then by all means I thought running my hands through his hair, make a meal of it.
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