I'll just complain.
I am posting tonight/this morning out of shear...heat shock. We have NO AIR CONDITIONING! none at all. I am on the second floor. I can not breath. It was bad enough with my regular..well..almost non-stop hot flashes. Now i feel like i am dying. For anyone who knows me, you know how horrible this is. For those who don't: I AM ALWAYS HOT. When normal people are perfect or cold, I am burning up.
My life has been going downhill at a rapid pace. I am not writing this because I want pity. I don't want everyone to think, awww poor lindsey. I am merely doing this to get some things off my chest. I stopped writing in my LJ because I noticed all of my posts made me seem completely pathetic. I suppose I am.
I have come to realize that I am pretty much worthless. Or..I've come to realize thats how alot of people see me. I am trying really had to stay true to myself and not let that get to me and change how i see myself. But its really hard. My father and I are not on a speaking basis at the moment. I got in a car wreck in "HIS BABY" last tuesday. Now I am paying the ultimate price of being stuck in this house all summer long. I get to go to work and that is about it. Now for those of you who have seen my room, you probably thinking, you ahve so much stuff in there. Yeah, I have a computer, radio, T.V. But that does nothing for me. I refuse to spend my summer sitting on my ass doing nothing. THats not me. I've been so bored the past week and a half, I have cleaned the garage (two car); completely redone my room, closet, and bathroom; done dishes and ran the dishwasher 5 times (alot for only two people dirtying dishes); reorganized the cabinets and pantry twice; washed every piece of clothing i own, including bleaching all my whites; and done tons of other things.
My punishment of being stuck in this house is horrible. Especially if you consider what I am in trouble for. I broke curfew a few times and didn't call every 10 seconds (my phone was so screwed). For that, my dad feels that I need to be on medication. Apparently I am ioutrageous, wild, and out of control. Now, considering what I could be doing (drinking, doing drugs, dropping out, getting pregnant, etc.) I'm not that bad. I'm not allowed to drive until I am on medication. Now, it doesn't matter how I feel about the situation. I know myself. I ruse to become dependant to medication to solve my problems. *To anyone on meds. I am not dissing, jsut saying thats not me* Now, I'm not judging with no proof. I was on medicatrion for almost a year, and the only thing that come out of that was an emergency room bill. Yeah, I didn't need to be on them, so I had all the side effects. I lost feeling in my legs, I would start shaking, my jar locked open, and so on. Hillary and Patti even went with me to the emergency room. I refuse to go back to that!
There's more, but I feel self pity coming on so I'm gonna stop for now.......
My life has been going downhill at a rapid pace. I am not writing this because I want pity. I don't want everyone to think, awww poor lindsey. I am merely doing this to get some things off my chest. I stopped writing in my LJ because I noticed all of my posts made me seem completely pathetic. I suppose I am.
I have come to realize that I am pretty much worthless. Or..I've come to realize thats how alot of people see me. I am trying really had to stay true to myself and not let that get to me and change how i see myself. But its really hard. My father and I are not on a speaking basis at the moment. I got in a car wreck in "HIS BABY" last tuesday. Now I am paying the ultimate price of being stuck in this house all summer long. I get to go to work and that is about it. Now for those of you who have seen my room, you probably thinking, you ahve so much stuff in there. Yeah, I have a computer, radio, T.V. But that does nothing for me. I refuse to spend my summer sitting on my ass doing nothing. THats not me. I've been so bored the past week and a half, I have cleaned the garage (two car); completely redone my room, closet, and bathroom; done dishes and ran the dishwasher 5 times (alot for only two people dirtying dishes); reorganized the cabinets and pantry twice; washed every piece of clothing i own, including bleaching all my whites; and done tons of other things.
My punishment of being stuck in this house is horrible. Especially if you consider what I am in trouble for. I broke curfew a few times and didn't call every 10 seconds (my phone was so screwed). For that, my dad feels that I need to be on medication. Apparently I am ioutrageous, wild, and out of control. Now, considering what I could be doing (drinking, doing drugs, dropping out, getting pregnant, etc.) I'm not that bad. I'm not allowed to drive until I am on medication. Now, it doesn't matter how I feel about the situation. I know myself. I ruse to become dependant to medication to solve my problems. *To anyone on meds. I am not dissing, jsut saying thats not me* Now, I'm not judging with no proof. I was on medicatrion for almost a year, and the only thing that come out of that was an emergency room bill. Yeah, I didn't need to be on them, so I had all the side effects. I lost feeling in my legs, I would start shaking, my jar locked open, and so on. Hillary and Patti even went with me to the emergency room. I refuse to go back to that!
There's more, but I feel self pity coming on so I'm gonna stop for now.......