(no subject)
Well, where to begin.
I went and visited UVM and Ithaca this past few days. It was a decent trip, considering i was in the car with my parents and twin sisters for at least 24-48 hours...or at least it felt like that. Some good times, along with some bad, but overall it wasnt too terrible.idk, maybe its just me, but i'm not too sure how i feel about either of them. I loved Ithaca(the college itself) as soon as i got there. I felt really at home, especially since its so musically involved. Then we went to UVM. Its a great campus, alot bigger than Ithaca, more spread out, in a great little town.
But it just didnt have that same spark i felt when i was in Ithaca. IDK! ughh... i'm going to go to UVM because it has more opportunities, especially since i have NO IDEA what i want to do or even want to major in...let alone know what i want to do with the rest of my life. I geuss i just never really thought about the future. I mean sure i was like, ok going to college...dont know where..but somewhere. and then after that be married, have a job, and kids,ya know the normal life. Yet know..i dont know what exactly i want anymore. This whole year just seemed to have melted together like a bad candle with sucky wax...all melted and black and kinda just there. I mean sure, i'm having a good senior year, nothing too horrendous has happened, and i am going to miss apponequet and my friends, but still, it just seems as if its all just kinda gone by too fast and melted together.
Maybe i'm just scared of whats to come. What if no one likes me? I went to UVM and it seemed like no one wanted to get to know me, except for this one girl i met there named jessica who was really cool. Yet other than that, it seemed like everyone else was either interested in what they came to see, or like me, scared and uncertain of what was to come, realizing that all of it had come way to fast in the few years of our high school career. I'm excited to get to college. I know it'll be fun, but something within me is hesitant, and i really wish it would stop. I have been waiting for college and that great experience all my life it seems. (well since about 8th grade with PCC)Yet now that this time has actually arrived, it seems like just another step in a perfect life i must always fulfill. I geuss i dont even know why i bother, but yes, i will be going to UVM this fall, becasue it is the mature decision, and seeing as where i have nothing better than UVM, and that i'm so freaking stupid for feeling this way, and no doubt once i get there i love it and adjust just fine, and this will all be for nothing, and i just wicked rambled on in this sentence. Sorry guys. But hopefully, this hesitation will clear as it comes closer to orientation. But one thing i'm sure of, if anywhere, its between ithaca and UVM, and i know UVM is the better decision. SO that's where i'm going. If anyone even wants to visit me, there is a train to get to Burlington. Highly doubt it though, so i geuss until then, this is all i have of Freetown/Lakeville, besides my family.
Later..
I went and visited UVM and Ithaca this past few days. It was a decent trip, considering i was in the car with my parents and twin sisters for at least 24-48 hours...or at least it felt like that. Some good times, along with some bad, but overall it wasnt too terrible.idk, maybe its just me, but i'm not too sure how i feel about either of them. I loved Ithaca(the college itself) as soon as i got there. I felt really at home, especially since its so musically involved. Then we went to UVM. Its a great campus, alot bigger than Ithaca, more spread out, in a great little town.
But it just didnt have that same spark i felt when i was in Ithaca. IDK! ughh... i'm going to go to UVM because it has more opportunities, especially since i have NO IDEA what i want to do or even want to major in...let alone know what i want to do with the rest of my life. I geuss i just never really thought about the future. I mean sure i was like, ok going to college...dont know where..but somewhere. and then after that be married, have a job, and kids,ya know the normal life. Yet know..i dont know what exactly i want anymore. This whole year just seemed to have melted together like a bad candle with sucky wax...all melted and black and kinda just there. I mean sure, i'm having a good senior year, nothing too horrendous has happened, and i am going to miss apponequet and my friends, but still, it just seems as if its all just kinda gone by too fast and melted together.
Maybe i'm just scared of whats to come. What if no one likes me? I went to UVM and it seemed like no one wanted to get to know me, except for this one girl i met there named jessica who was really cool. Yet other than that, it seemed like everyone else was either interested in what they came to see, or like me, scared and uncertain of what was to come, realizing that all of it had come way to fast in the few years of our high school career. I'm excited to get to college. I know it'll be fun, but something within me is hesitant, and i really wish it would stop. I have been waiting for college and that great experience all my life it seems. (well since about 8th grade with PCC)Yet now that this time has actually arrived, it seems like just another step in a perfect life i must always fulfill. I geuss i dont even know why i bother, but yes, i will be going to UVM this fall, becasue it is the mature decision, and seeing as where i have nothing better than UVM, and that i'm so freaking stupid for feeling this way, and no doubt once i get there i love it and adjust just fine, and this will all be for nothing, and i just wicked rambled on in this sentence. Sorry guys. But hopefully, this hesitation will clear as it comes closer to orientation. But one thing i'm sure of, if anywhere, its between ithaca and UVM, and i know UVM is the better decision. SO that's where i'm going. If anyone even wants to visit me, there is a train to get to Burlington. Highly doubt it though, so i geuss until then, this is all i have of Freetown/Lakeville, besides my family.
Later..