(no subject)
Why is it that just when you think you are finally over something, it all comes back up again including all the feelings? Let me tell you, it sucks when that happens.
This semester has been quite the interesting one with its many ups and downs, and let me tell you, EVERY part of me is ready for summer vacation! With all the disputes between friends, basically lost friendships, and then serious accidents that have happeend, I am emotionally wiped out. It's like even when I get a break I still can't rejuvenate myself emotionally. Things with Wes...well, they pretty much just plain suck. I barely talk to him anymore except in class or on Wednesday nights at church, and I never see him outside of class or church. Not that I want to hang out with him everyday or talk to him everyday, but every once in a while would be nice. The last time we "hung out" was the SuperBowl and I didn't even talk to him that night, and when I did we were arguing over the stupid door issue. It just sucks. We were such good friends and now I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore. Yeah, I see him kind of a lot....but I feel like i dont know him...he acts like a totally different person when he is around Danielle or talking about her, and it is a person that I dont know, and that upsets me. Then theres things with Hannah....which also suck. Living together was fine last semester and for most of this semester up until Spring Break. We came back from Spring Break and could NOT stand the sight of each other and its pretty much stayed that way since then. We don't talk too much and I feel like our relationship has just totally gone down the drain over like the last 3 weeks. So if you combine all of that, this semester I basically lost my 2 best friends down here and then most of the rest of my really close friends are graduating in May. Crazy how things work out in life.
Then theres things with Sarah...the friend of mine who was in taht terrible car accident about a month ago. She just got out of the hospital on Friday, and is doing pretty well. She is in a wheel chair and once her pelvis heals she will have to re-learn how to walk. Talk about a life changing accident. God is good though, in that he spared her life and is allowing her to be able to walk at all considering her injuries and how bad the car accident was. Praise God that she made out alive, but at the same time, it still really hard to deal with. Then last Sunday I got a text from Andrew saying that another guy we went to high school with, Nino, was in a terrible car accident and they ended up having to ampuatate more than half of his arm. CRAZY. To make a very long story short, he was on the phone and when the car rolled the window shattered and the roof began to cave in causing tons of lacerations to his arm as well as it being crushed. Had he not been on the phone though he probably would have died since it would have been his head and neck that got cut up instead of his arm. What a proviedential phone call that was!
All of that being said, this semester has just been a really tough one. Theres a lot going on emotionally between my friends and I, as well as a LOT going on with school and such, combined with physical and mental exhaustion. I had a huge breakdown last Tuesday and did basically nothing all day because I could not do anything but cry, which for those of you who are close to me, know is VERY unusual.
I feel like I am back to the point I was at my senior year after all that crap went down at church and I felt like I never had anyone to talk to in confidence about anything that was going on. I mean I know I have Christy and Karyn and that they would listen and be there for me ANY time, but its just not the same since they aren't as close to me. These are usually the times that I would talk to Hannah or Wes or Sarah(but even recently the both of us have just been too busy to really catch up and talk with each other, which is also sad...). The other people that I would talk to back home about it have a lot of their own issues going on and/or haven't been calling me back which is a whole other story.
I don't know. I guess I really need to just be praying and spending time in the Word. Maybe that is my problem to begin with. I just don't know.
This semester has been quite the interesting one with its many ups and downs, and let me tell you, EVERY part of me is ready for summer vacation! With all the disputes between friends, basically lost friendships, and then serious accidents that have happeend, I am emotionally wiped out. It's like even when I get a break I still can't rejuvenate myself emotionally. Things with Wes...well, they pretty much just plain suck. I barely talk to him anymore except in class or on Wednesday nights at church, and I never see him outside of class or church. Not that I want to hang out with him everyday or talk to him everyday, but every once in a while would be nice. The last time we "hung out" was the SuperBowl and I didn't even talk to him that night, and when I did we were arguing over the stupid door issue. It just sucks. We were such good friends and now I feel like I don't even know who he is anymore. Yeah, I see him kind of a lot....but I feel like i dont know him...he acts like a totally different person when he is around Danielle or talking about her, and it is a person that I dont know, and that upsets me. Then theres things with Hannah....which also suck. Living together was fine last semester and for most of this semester up until Spring Break. We came back from Spring Break and could NOT stand the sight of each other and its pretty much stayed that way since then. We don't talk too much and I feel like our relationship has just totally gone down the drain over like the last 3 weeks. So if you combine all of that, this semester I basically lost my 2 best friends down here and then most of the rest of my really close friends are graduating in May. Crazy how things work out in life.
Then theres things with Sarah...the friend of mine who was in taht terrible car accident about a month ago. She just got out of the hospital on Friday, and is doing pretty well. She is in a wheel chair and once her pelvis heals she will have to re-learn how to walk. Talk about a life changing accident. God is good though, in that he spared her life and is allowing her to be able to walk at all considering her injuries and how bad the car accident was. Praise God that she made out alive, but at the same time, it still really hard to deal with. Then last Sunday I got a text from Andrew saying that another guy we went to high school with, Nino, was in a terrible car accident and they ended up having to ampuatate more than half of his arm. CRAZY. To make a very long story short, he was on the phone and when the car rolled the window shattered and the roof began to cave in causing tons of lacerations to his arm as well as it being crushed. Had he not been on the phone though he probably would have died since it would have been his head and neck that got cut up instead of his arm. What a proviedential phone call that was!
All of that being said, this semester has just been a really tough one. Theres a lot going on emotionally between my friends and I, as well as a LOT going on with school and such, combined with physical and mental exhaustion. I had a huge breakdown last Tuesday and did basically nothing all day because I could not do anything but cry, which for those of you who are close to me, know is VERY unusual.
I feel like I am back to the point I was at my senior year after all that crap went down at church and I felt like I never had anyone to talk to in confidence about anything that was going on. I mean I know I have Christy and Karyn and that they would listen and be there for me ANY time, but its just not the same since they aren't as close to me. These are usually the times that I would talk to Hannah or Wes or Sarah(but even recently the both of us have just been too busy to really catch up and talk with each other, which is also sad...). The other people that I would talk to back home about it have a lot of their own issues going on and/or haven't been calling me back which is a whole other story.
I don't know. I guess I really need to just be praying and spending time in the Word. Maybe that is my problem to begin with. I just don't know.