(no subject)
Haven't written in FOREVER. But since I've got a lot on my mind I felt like writing might help. So first off, I'm SO incredibly stressed out lately. And I generally don't let myself get stressed but with a show, graduation in the near future and absolutely no time for anything lately my mind hasn't really had time long enough to settle. The show especially has been kicking my ass. We had only ONE MONTH to put together Chicago. HUGE musical. But somehow we pulled it off, it's been sold out every night/day so far. Two weeks ago before the opening of the show we had 2 days of tech rehearsal which is where the lighting gets done and the set is used during rehearsal. It was 2 full days, 10am to 10pm. HARSH. With one day having only ONE break. On top of all that I was really sick with a head cold/sore throat/you name it. Not to mention.. besides those rehearsals we've been having them 5 days a week from 7-10 on top of classes oh and that little thing called studying? Ha! I have 5, yes 5 shows to do this weekend including one where my call time is 7:30am, show starts at 9:30am for high school students. Awesome. But on the brighter I have gotten good reviews, and the show is most likely going to ACTF which is a theatre conference where we will perform Chicago in NYC for a huge audience. SO exciting. And also I was sitting in the dressing room on the last day of this past weekends performances and I forgot I was even in school. I was so happy to be doing what I love, and I can totally see myself doing this for the rest of my life (:
Now on the romantic side of the spectrum..well there is none. I've had a few guys in mind and nothing. I found this amazing guy, cute, intelligent, and just exactly what I'm looking for..minus the kiss we shared. Again..felt absolutely nothing and ..well.. kind of an awful kisser. Granted he was drunk.. but who knows. I've been thinking about it and maybe I'm just really too scared to get close to someone so I felt the need to subconsciously find something wrong. I can't figure it out. But as much as I realize I am okay alone..I think right now I really do want a boyfriend. It's been a while since Joe and I dated minus the little fling we had at the end of the summer but, well it's Joe. We're always going to be on and off and never properly on and I'm kind of okay with that and kind of not. But I definitely think it's time for change, I don't need a Justin Bobby (Hills reference for those of you who don't know). I want someone who's going to be there 100% so I can be too. And thank god the show has kept me busy but the loneliness sets in. I was so scared to get into a relationship with Steve which turned out to be a good thing that it was so up in the air cause in the end things most definitely didn't work out right. But I really want something, even if it's just a fling that lasts for a few months...
Yeah, I'm ranting. So on top of all this, I'm failing French already. It's been 5 & 1/2 years since I took French and somehow I placed into French 3. Now I need to pass this French and French 4 in order to graduate in May..ya.. Basically in all seriousness I just need a nice long vacation and someone to keep me company, preferably a hot David Beckham looking type =P So if someone wants to arrange this for me, perhaps as an early b-day present I'd be much obliged (:
Now on the romantic side of the spectrum..well there is none. I've had a few guys in mind and nothing. I found this amazing guy, cute, intelligent, and just exactly what I'm looking for..minus the kiss we shared. Again..felt absolutely nothing and ..well.. kind of an awful kisser. Granted he was drunk.. but who knows. I've been thinking about it and maybe I'm just really too scared to get close to someone so I felt the need to subconsciously find something wrong. I can't figure it out. But as much as I realize I am okay alone..I think right now I really do want a boyfriend. It's been a while since Joe and I dated minus the little fling we had at the end of the summer but, well it's Joe. We're always going to be on and off and never properly on and I'm kind of okay with that and kind of not. But I definitely think it's time for change, I don't need a Justin Bobby (Hills reference for those of you who don't know). I want someone who's going to be there 100% so I can be too. And thank god the show has kept me busy but the loneliness sets in. I was so scared to get into a relationship with Steve which turned out to be a good thing that it was so up in the air cause in the end things most definitely didn't work out right. But I really want something, even if it's just a fling that lasts for a few months...
Yeah, I'm ranting. So on top of all this, I'm failing French already. It's been 5 & 1/2 years since I took French and somehow I placed into French 3. Now I need to pass this French and French 4 in order to graduate in May..ya.. Basically in all seriousness I just need a nice long vacation and someone to keep me company, preferably a hot David Beckham looking type =P So if someone wants to arrange this for me, perhaps as an early b-day present I'd be much obliged (: