Feeling Alone Once Again!!
I haven't written in my journal for quite awhile now. Theres has been just so much going out with me. Well, me just start out by saying that i am going to Prom next week with my Ex, Josh. And let me say that i have been hanging out a lot with this new group that puts on punk shows and gives the profits away to orphans. Which i think is a really nice thing to do. Well a few weeks ago all this crap started happening to me. I decided to take home my 2 friends Paul and Taylor home from this kid Mo's house. Mo is the kid who started these shows because he was adopted. Well these to people who i was taking home dedided to start making out in the back of my car after Mo said some really mean things to Taylor.
I was really mad at the fact that they decided to make out in my car especially cause i was offering to give them a ride home. So after because i was reallt mad i decided to talk to Mo about this situation and that night we hit it off we stayed up till 5 in the morning talking on the phone. But this kid Mo happens to be pretty good friends with my ex josh. And josh gets jelious over any thing i do with anyone else but him. Even though we haven't been going out since November. So we were just hanging out and stuff for that past 2 weeks or so. And today he told me that he doesn't ever want to do anything with me cause he coudn't stand hurting josh.
He also told me that he is gonna tell josh about all of this after we go to prom. And i know he is gonna be hurt and mad at me for this more than anything else. And i don't want to lose him as a friend. So mean while all this is happening i also decided to do something wild today.
Recently the kid Chris that i liked broke with his girlfriend. So i decided to tell him over the internet that i liked him finally and of course he doesn't feel the same way about me. So i am stuck here with to guys in ONE day that have told me that they don't like me. I mean what am I????? NOTHING??? Why am i always so alone??? I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Sometimes i feel so alone. All i want is someone to be there for me and cuddle with. I want someone who can accept me for who i am and what i have to give. I can't be any better than what i am. I can't change who i am, its just not possible.
I was really mad at the fact that they decided to make out in my car especially cause i was offering to give them a ride home. So after because i was reallt mad i decided to talk to Mo about this situation and that night we hit it off we stayed up till 5 in the morning talking on the phone. But this kid Mo happens to be pretty good friends with my ex josh. And josh gets jelious over any thing i do with anyone else but him. Even though we haven't been going out since November. So we were just hanging out and stuff for that past 2 weeks or so. And today he told me that he doesn't ever want to do anything with me cause he coudn't stand hurting josh.
He also told me that he is gonna tell josh about all of this after we go to prom. And i know he is gonna be hurt and mad at me for this more than anything else. And i don't want to lose him as a friend. So mean while all this is happening i also decided to do something wild today.
Recently the kid Chris that i liked broke with his girlfriend. So i decided to tell him over the internet that i liked him finally and of course he doesn't feel the same way about me. So i am stuck here with to guys in ONE day that have told me that they don't like me. I mean what am I????? NOTHING??? Why am i always so alone??? I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. Sometimes i feel so alone. All i want is someone to be there for me and cuddle with. I want someone who can accept me for who i am and what i have to give. I can't be any better than what i am. I can't change who i am, its just not possible.