Im contemplating
I have been thinkin about a lot of things lately ...
I cannot believe that In like three weeks or so Im going to college . Thats just nuts. Its going to be amazing just to not be living here and meet new people, new guys, new directors , and do theatre with people who are as passionate about it as I am. I have one academic class, English and then 11 hours of theatre. Thats so awesome. I cant wait to make my own decisions about things and not have to worry about what time it is , if Im goin to get in a fight or have to lie to my nosy mother when I strut in the door. Its soo refreshing knowing that I have so many opportunities at hand and I cannot wait to take them. I want to make a difference in the world so badly , it makes me ill.Its just a new beginning.
I have also been thinking about past relationships that I have had.Not only with guys , but everyone. I am such a wierd person, I know that . I have really had some interesting relationships with people which have really taught me not to trust , and some to really believe in myself. Its so amazing how much we forget ourselves when something happens and when people get hurt . Its almost like you cant tell what real and whats not these days. And with guys, its like every relationship Ive even had has ended so badly ... every one. I mean is something wrong with me ? do I have some defect?
am I shallow? someone the other night told me I was and I bit his head off. Then , I second guessed myself for a minute. I mean yeah, I care about some physical things, like all their teeth have to be present and straight preferrably but really other than that I dont understand why I am shallow? It bothered me soo much , bc I HATE PEOPLE WHO R SHALLOW! But , mostly bc I have been dumped so many times for my hottie best friend.. I mean damn.. it hurts so badly to know that someone would compare me to them... ugh
I dont know, Im just really in-tuned to things rite now , and worst of all Im sick ... blahhh
By the way , happy Birthday MS AK HADA !!!! I LOVE U GURLY!!
I cannot believe that In like three weeks or so Im going to college . Thats just nuts. Its going to be amazing just to not be living here and meet new people, new guys, new directors , and do theatre with people who are as passionate about it as I am. I have one academic class, English and then 11 hours of theatre. Thats so awesome. I cant wait to make my own decisions about things and not have to worry about what time it is , if Im goin to get in a fight or have to lie to my nosy mother when I strut in the door. Its soo refreshing knowing that I have so many opportunities at hand and I cannot wait to take them. I want to make a difference in the world so badly , it makes me ill.Its just a new beginning.
I have also been thinking about past relationships that I have had.Not only with guys , but everyone. I am such a wierd person, I know that . I have really had some interesting relationships with people which have really taught me not to trust , and some to really believe in myself. Its so amazing how much we forget ourselves when something happens and when people get hurt . Its almost like you cant tell what real and whats not these days. And with guys, its like every relationship Ive even had has ended so badly ... every one. I mean is something wrong with me ? do I have some defect?
am I shallow? someone the other night told me I was and I bit his head off. Then , I second guessed myself for a minute. I mean yeah, I care about some physical things, like all their teeth have to be present and straight preferrably but really other than that I dont understand why I am shallow? It bothered me soo much , bc I HATE PEOPLE WHO R SHALLOW! But , mostly bc I have been dumped so many times for my hottie best friend.. I mean damn.. it hurts so badly to know that someone would compare me to them... ugh
I dont know, Im just really in-tuned to things rite now , and worst of all Im sick ... blahhh
By the way , happy Birthday MS AK HADA !!!! I LOVE U GURLY!!