(no subject)
I don't remember what it's like to have free time. You remember that free time we used to have? Not the sort that means you aren't doing anything at that specific moment in time... but the sort that means that you truly are free for that moment... that you have nothing hanging over you waiting to be done. There is nothing early the next morning awaiting your arrival and nothing that you are shoving to the side of your desk/mind/life at this moment to catch a few moments of sleep or mindless glances at the television. I miss the sort of free time that I don't have to feel guilty about, and the sort that I don't have to schedule in to my life just to make time for friends and things that I want to do instead of all of the things that I feel like I have to do. This isn't to say that I loathe doing all the things that I feel like I have to do, but they don't allow for that light-hearted feeling that I am missing at this moment. My weeks and even weekends look bleak with tasks that I need to accomplish, places I am supposed to be and fun I am scheduled to have. At least I always make time for fun. Life is good, I won't say that it's not... I just miss the spontaniety, the care-free feel that I used to enjoy. Here's hoping things calm down after this month.