Stress, it's a killer.
So, I've been meaning to write in here cause you know I want people to know my personal life and comment on it... what else is livejournal for beside sharing pictures, which I absolutely love looking at them when I'm bored. But just lately, I've been real blue. yea blue as in sad, depressed, whatever you want to call it, just blue. I got so much on my shoulders, some of which shouldn't be but it is. School... transfering, classes, videos, dealing with other people's schedules, doing favors for other people, making sure I actually do a good job in the short time I have. I really think this was one of the shittiest academic years I have had to date. I don't know what happened, I procrasinated I guess... things happen at the wrong time. Other things besides school get in the way, having to deal with a daily source of pain everyday because of the last year. I feel like I should regret, or move on, try, just something... but all I can do is to lay around and think, what am I going to do next? What's right for me? what do I want to do? How do I get things back to the way they were? How do I get things to be the way I want them to be? And consistently answering my mom's question so what are you doing for next year?I'm just plain ole not happy. Not happy with anything in my life. I think out of all my friends, I got the worst off cause I just didn't know what I wanted to do and I'm suffering from being so indecisive or not acting on anything. There are things I do want to do now, I have plans, I have ideas, but I'm just afraid to put them in action because of the things I am going to lose, the things I may have to face, and just what if I fail and I go back to where I am now, just worse off? I don't know if I ready to make another change in my life when the last time I made a change in my life it lead me to here.
ok, so I imagine if you read this, you probably thinking, there she goes again another wah wah story that her life isn't great, she isn't happy wah wah grow up. Alright, fair enough, but Ill tell you anybody that is saying I'm way too emo and way too depressed and I need help... just look around you. I know a handful of kids that have had panic attacks cause of stress and stress alone... life is hard, especially when you're not the richest kid, your family isn't around to help, the people you count on aren't there, the things that made life easy aren't around anymore. It's just you, facing all the mistakes you make and having to weave in and out of them. I just don't want to screw up.
ok, so I imagine if you read this, you probably thinking, there she goes again another wah wah story that her life isn't great, she isn't happy wah wah grow up. Alright, fair enough, but Ill tell you anybody that is saying I'm way too emo and way too depressed and I need help... just look around you. I know a handful of kids that have had panic attacks cause of stress and stress alone... life is hard, especially when you're not the richest kid, your family isn't around to help, the people you count on aren't there, the things that made life easy aren't around anymore. It's just you, facing all the mistakes you make and having to weave in and out of them. I just don't want to screw up.