Heart
I've been really stressed about work and my uncertain future. Many parts of my life are in peril. Even my health.
I was kinda cryptic about this part. I was keeping it a secret until I could find some ability to cope with the problem. I was waiting on a final solution to the problem before confessing my anxiety about it (as to not freak anyone else out). I've come to some kind of calm about it, despite the uncertainty it represents at this moment.
My heart has decided to stop working right.
It actually SKIPS beats. The normal beat rhythm is disturbed on occasion and I can't find a trigger like stretching or even (active) anxiety. It started off as once a month or less, usually while in the car. I paid it no attention. It got a bit more frequent but I still ignored it and didn't even keep track of it. Then, on October 3rd, it was happening almost every hour and with one occurrence lasting about 5 minutes. I didn't pass out, have pain in my arms or experience anything immedately signalling I needed to go to the ER or call an ambulance.
I told Boyfriend. He handed me some asprin and told me to take or he'd call an ambulance himself. I did and he sat nearby.
I called Kaiser. I waited 20 minutes for a live nurse-person to speak who gave me the usual run around. She scheduled for a doctor to call me back. Doctor gave me the usual run around and could not make up his mind on if I should go to the ER or not. I eventually ended the call by saying "thank you, I will make my own descision now". Because, at this point, I'm in extreme pain because asprin makes my stomach hurt so much.
I did make a decision on my own. NO ER.
My experience with the ER is: unless you're actively bleeding to death, you will wait forever in the waiting area, get snarked at by nurses who think you're faking it, and get no answers at all. They aren't there for investigating answers to your problem! They are they for sewing your legs back on.
Also, I had that interview in the morning! So I went to bed and hoped I wasn't betting my life.
The next day, after the interview, I was still all thump-no thump-double thump so I hopped on the first appointment with my GP. He hooked me to an EKG and my heart refused to produce the problem for the machine. I was sent to a cardiology department who saddled me with the second package of wires and electrodes I've ever had to wear in my life. It was to monitor my heart beats for 24 hours.
I went to work wearing it and tried desperately to hide it. It was so itchy. The angry indian nurse strapped these electodes to me so earnestly that I was so uncomfortable it was nigh impossible to keep from scratching. Later, when I removed them, it turned out she taped them to me so well that the conductive gel under the pads had dug into my skin. Yes, GEL dug into my skin. I have a big nasty scar in the middle of my chest, right where everyone can see it. Fuckin' super.
I have been waiting for any information about this test for over a week now. I have no answers as to what is or was going on. I don't know ANYTHING. My GP doctor told me to 'keep waiting' and I don't know who else to call. I wanted to be able to present this problem and it's solution at the same time, but I gots nothing.
Fortunately, the 'episodes' are now infrequent again. 14 days after the really lengthy episode, I find the occurrence is maybe once a day. If I had a damn doctor to talk to about this, I'm sure it would be relevant information in figuring out what to DO about it. I figured this is the kind of thing they don't put on the back burner. Maybe they don't feel this is very important, but it's MY damn HEART and it's important to me.
So, I don't know what it IS much less how to fix it, if it needs fixing, if it's possible to fix or if its going to get worse and explode or what!
I'm gonna call in the morning... hopefully I can find some kind of answer. But, I generally doubt I can beat an answer out of anyone at Kaiser. They'll "get around" to it. Since it's not being really crazy right now, I kinda feel I wont DIE.... but I'd like to know what the hell, man.
So there.
I was kinda cryptic about this part. I was keeping it a secret until I could find some ability to cope with the problem. I was waiting on a final solution to the problem before confessing my anxiety about it (as to not freak anyone else out). I've come to some kind of calm about it, despite the uncertainty it represents at this moment.
My heart has decided to stop working right.
It actually SKIPS beats. The normal beat rhythm is disturbed on occasion and I can't find a trigger like stretching or even (active) anxiety. It started off as once a month or less, usually while in the car. I paid it no attention. It got a bit more frequent but I still ignored it and didn't even keep track of it. Then, on October 3rd, it was happening almost every hour and with one occurrence lasting about 5 minutes. I didn't pass out, have pain in my arms or experience anything immedately signalling I needed to go to the ER or call an ambulance.
I told Boyfriend. He handed me some asprin and told me to take or he'd call an ambulance himself. I did and he sat nearby.
I called Kaiser. I waited 20 minutes for a live nurse-person to speak who gave me the usual run around. She scheduled for a doctor to call me back. Doctor gave me the usual run around and could not make up his mind on if I should go to the ER or not. I eventually ended the call by saying "thank you, I will make my own descision now". Because, at this point, I'm in extreme pain because asprin makes my stomach hurt so much.
I did make a decision on my own. NO ER.
My experience with the ER is: unless you're actively bleeding to death, you will wait forever in the waiting area, get snarked at by nurses who think you're faking it, and get no answers at all. They aren't there for investigating answers to your problem! They are they for sewing your legs back on.
Also, I had that interview in the morning! So I went to bed and hoped I wasn't betting my life.
The next day, after the interview, I was still all thump-no thump-double thump so I hopped on the first appointment with my GP. He hooked me to an EKG and my heart refused to produce the problem for the machine. I was sent to a cardiology department who saddled me with the second package of wires and electrodes I've ever had to wear in my life. It was to monitor my heart beats for 24 hours.
I went to work wearing it and tried desperately to hide it. It was so itchy. The angry indian nurse strapped these electodes to me so earnestly that I was so uncomfortable it was nigh impossible to keep from scratching. Later, when I removed them, it turned out she taped them to me so well that the conductive gel under the pads had dug into my skin. Yes, GEL dug into my skin. I have a big nasty scar in the middle of my chest, right where everyone can see it. Fuckin' super.
I have been waiting for any information about this test for over a week now. I have no answers as to what is or was going on. I don't know ANYTHING. My GP doctor told me to 'keep waiting' and I don't know who else to call. I wanted to be able to present this problem and it's solution at the same time, but I gots nothing.
Fortunately, the 'episodes' are now infrequent again. 14 days after the really lengthy episode, I find the occurrence is maybe once a day. If I had a damn doctor to talk to about this, I'm sure it would be relevant information in figuring out what to DO about it. I figured this is the kind of thing they don't put on the back burner. Maybe they don't feel this is very important, but it's MY damn HEART and it's important to me.
So, I don't know what it IS much less how to fix it, if it needs fixing, if it's possible to fix or if its going to get worse and explode or what!
I'm gonna call in the morning... hopefully I can find some kind of answer. But, I generally doubt I can beat an answer out of anyone at Kaiser. They'll "get around" to it. Since it's not being really crazy right now, I kinda feel I wont DIE.... but I'd like to know what the hell, man.
So there.