Hmmm....
Title: Here I Go Again
Album: Music Of The Sun
It's been a minute since I saw you boy,
Must admit it's good to hear your voice,
And I guess that I forgot just,
How you make me feel when your around,
See you haven't lost your sense of self,
And you still come at me with your smile,
Can't deny that I still got this feelings deep inside,
(Ooooooo)Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
Still remember how youu make me weak,
How I fought to find the words to speak (words to speak)
I just can't escape the memories,
I tried but I just can't refreed though
I closed the door on what we had but
This feelings just keep coming back
Didn't think that you could
Make me lose control like that
(Ooooooo)Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
I've listened to this song over and over again and it just drives me insane to realize that that's how things are for me. I'm tired of it actually. I can't just sit around and expect things to turn back to normal. Not even just about that one thing, just about anything. Life is too fucked up right now to care about anything really. I hate feeling like a puppet on a string and having to go which ever way anyone wants to pull me. I want to cut myself free and just be happy but I can't. I'm stuck. No where to go. Nothing to do about it.
Boys drive me insane. Friends...well there aren't very many of those anymore. Family...well I'm going to visit them in MI soon. School...it sucks like normal. Work...Stressful. Money...don't have any. It's like I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't updated in a while so I thought I would. Things again, haven't been going my way. It sucks but I'll get over it. I'm used to it these days.
I was talking to my friend Nikki last night on the phone and I love that girl to death. We're so much alike and her and I are going through some of the same issues. Mainly boy issues. I technically don't have boy issues because I just don't care anymore. It's like one second I think things are going to actually work out but then it changes. Maybe I'm the only one that see's it but honestly I'm tired. Her and I both are actually. We're tired of being tossed around like hot potatoes! haha It's like you think you found someone you can spend the rest of your life with and BOOM just like that it's gone. I was never sure about anything, especially my relationship with someone. All I know is that I wanted to be with him and I was going to try and make it work as much as possible. No matter if another guy came along. Love is about taking risks and if you can't do that then why even say you love someone? Doesn't make any sense. Ugh! I don't get guys at all. Yet, I'm stuck. I don't want anyone else. All that he's put me through and everything. I'm crazy. I was told that boys don't deserve a girl like me. I'm too good. Yeah right. I'm not that good. If I was that good maybe a guy would actually want to be with me.
Moving on. I hate rambling on about that kind of stuff. I guess that's just what was on my mind at that moment in time. I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow and I JUST did my research and I have to type it all up tonight. All nighter?? YUPPERS!! I believe so. I won't be able to leave that computer till I'm done. That's what my plan is anyway. I shouldn't have procrastinated. I would have got it done sooner and wouldn't have to pull an all nighter. Oh well. I'll try and get some sugar in my body to help me stay awake! =)
Hmm...I guess I really miss this thing. Writing about how things are going and what's going on. I don't get much time for that anymore.I barely ever get much time for myself. Either at school, working, softball game, hangin out with Sasha or at home listening to my uncle talk to me. I wish I could just get away. Run far away and just spend some time alone and then with someone special. Someone who would just hold me and let me talk. Someone who won't care what others think if he's holding my hand walking down the street. Someone who won't care giving me a kiss in the middle of the store because he's apologizing for saying something that hurt my feelings. Someone who would make me breakfast in the morning and bring it to me while I'm still in bed. Someone who will watch me sleep and then kiss me and tell me he loves me. A guy who is confident enough in his feelings to think other girls are cute but that's as far as it goes. A guy that won't cheat. A guy that wants to talk to me, or spend time with me. Sounds like a fairy-tale huh? That knight in shinning armor that most all of us girls want. YEAH RIGHT! That day probably won't ever come. Even though I wish it would. My knight to come and save me from everything and just take me away. HAH! I'm dreaming.
Sasha and I are still really close. Makes me happy. Things have gotten a little akward but that's not something I'm going to write about. VERY FEW people know that story and I don't want many more to know. She's my best friend and I love her to death. If I had to choose someone like her to meet when I was younger, hell yeah. All the fights we went through. The laughs the cries. The softball games. The waterfights. The hide-n-go seek games at my house. The food benges. EVERYTHING. If I had to do it all over again I would. We've known eachother for a year or so and it seems like forever.
I really miss some of my old friends though. People I used to talk to that I barely even hear about anymore. It's sad that I can't even hang out with them because 1. I'm too busy. 2. Some of them are way too immature for me. 3. They talk about me behind my back. 4. they're too busy. Probably more reasons but oh well. All I know is that if I could have had the old days where I hung out with all of them w/o all the drama and Sasha included. Life would be great. Oh well.
Well I'm done rambling on about nonsense. Until next time. Which I hope is soon! Take care!!
I'M STILL ALIVE!!!
=)
Album: Music Of The Sun
It's been a minute since I saw you boy,
Must admit it's good to hear your voice,
And I guess that I forgot just,
How you make me feel when your around,
See you haven't lost your sense of self,
And you still come at me with your smile,
Can't deny that I still got this feelings deep inside,
(Ooooooo)Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
Still remember how youu make me weak,
How I fought to find the words to speak (words to speak)
I just can't escape the memories,
I tried but I just can't refreed though
I closed the door on what we had but
This feelings just keep coming back
Didn't think that you could
Make me lose control like that
(Ooooooo)Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
Its funny how things can change,
But still remain the same,
Isn't love just a crazy game,
Baby here I go again.
[Chorus]
I look into your eyes and then,
My heart remembers when and,
I realized I've never gotten over you,
Every time I hear your name,
Is like sunshine through the rain,
And I realized it's happening,
Baby here I go again
I've listened to this song over and over again and it just drives me insane to realize that that's how things are for me. I'm tired of it actually. I can't just sit around and expect things to turn back to normal. Not even just about that one thing, just about anything. Life is too fucked up right now to care about anything really. I hate feeling like a puppet on a string and having to go which ever way anyone wants to pull me. I want to cut myself free and just be happy but I can't. I'm stuck. No where to go. Nothing to do about it.
Boys drive me insane. Friends...well there aren't very many of those anymore. Family...well I'm going to visit them in MI soon. School...it sucks like normal. Work...Stressful. Money...don't have any. It's like I don't know what to do anymore. I haven't updated in a while so I thought I would. Things again, haven't been going my way. It sucks but I'll get over it. I'm used to it these days.
I was talking to my friend Nikki last night on the phone and I love that girl to death. We're so much alike and her and I are going through some of the same issues. Mainly boy issues. I technically don't have boy issues because I just don't care anymore. It's like one second I think things are going to actually work out but then it changes. Maybe I'm the only one that see's it but honestly I'm tired. Her and I both are actually. We're tired of being tossed around like hot potatoes! haha It's like you think you found someone you can spend the rest of your life with and BOOM just like that it's gone. I was never sure about anything, especially my relationship with someone. All I know is that I wanted to be with him and I was going to try and make it work as much as possible. No matter if another guy came along. Love is about taking risks and if you can't do that then why even say you love someone? Doesn't make any sense. Ugh! I don't get guys at all. Yet, I'm stuck. I don't want anyone else. All that he's put me through and everything. I'm crazy. I was told that boys don't deserve a girl like me. I'm too good. Yeah right. I'm not that good. If I was that good maybe a guy would actually want to be with me.
Moving on. I hate rambling on about that kind of stuff. I guess that's just what was on my mind at that moment in time. I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow and I JUST did my research and I have to type it all up tonight. All nighter?? YUPPERS!! I believe so. I won't be able to leave that computer till I'm done. That's what my plan is anyway. I shouldn't have procrastinated. I would have got it done sooner and wouldn't have to pull an all nighter. Oh well. I'll try and get some sugar in my body to help me stay awake! =)
Hmm...I guess I really miss this thing. Writing about how things are going and what's going on. I don't get much time for that anymore.I barely ever get much time for myself. Either at school, working, softball game, hangin out with Sasha or at home listening to my uncle talk to me. I wish I could just get away. Run far away and just spend some time alone and then with someone special. Someone who would just hold me and let me talk. Someone who won't care what others think if he's holding my hand walking down the street. Someone who won't care giving me a kiss in the middle of the store because he's apologizing for saying something that hurt my feelings. Someone who would make me breakfast in the morning and bring it to me while I'm still in bed. Someone who will watch me sleep and then kiss me and tell me he loves me. A guy who is confident enough in his feelings to think other girls are cute but that's as far as it goes. A guy that won't cheat. A guy that wants to talk to me, or spend time with me. Sounds like a fairy-tale huh? That knight in shinning armor that most all of us girls want. YEAH RIGHT! That day probably won't ever come. Even though I wish it would. My knight to come and save me from everything and just take me away. HAH! I'm dreaming.
Sasha and I are still really close. Makes me happy. Things have gotten a little akward but that's not something I'm going to write about. VERY FEW people know that story and I don't want many more to know. She's my best friend and I love her to death. If I had to choose someone like her to meet when I was younger, hell yeah. All the fights we went through. The laughs the cries. The softball games. The waterfights. The hide-n-go seek games at my house. The food benges. EVERYTHING. If I had to do it all over again I would. We've known eachother for a year or so and it seems like forever.
I really miss some of my old friends though. People I used to talk to that I barely even hear about anymore. It's sad that I can't even hang out with them because 1. I'm too busy. 2. Some of them are way too immature for me. 3. They talk about me behind my back. 4. they're too busy. Probably more reasons but oh well. All I know is that if I could have had the old days where I hung out with all of them w/o all the drama and Sasha included. Life would be great. Oh well.
Well I'm done rambling on about nonsense. Until next time. Which I hope is soon! Take care!!
I'M STILL ALIVE!!!
=)