(no subject)
WOW!! That's all I can say right about now. Things have been hella crazy. I've been really emotional this last week and I have no clue why. Plus add sick on top of all of that. ::sigh:: Not just a little sick either. REALLY SICK! My voice is finally getting better. You can actually understand me. YAY! For about 4 days my voice was barely even there. Even though I'm still sick, I feel better.
I hate being emotional. It makes things worse. Maybe it's just me that makes things worse. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to scream. Run outside and scream super loud. I never do though. I tend to just say things are fine and pray that it will all go away. It never does and I end up crying myself to sleep over it. I haven't cried like I have been, in so long. I used to cry ALL the time. Then everything started to get better and I was happy. Actually HAPPY! Wow. Now everything is back to the way it used to be. Eventually everything will be fine. I hope so anyway.
Ever love someone with your whole heart but you're afraid to tell them because of what they might do with it? Some will take it and cherish it but others will just play games and rip your heart out and throw it on the ground and stomp on it a few times. I guess you get what you get. Ever just want to be able to trust someone completely but you can't because you're afraid that once you actually get to that point they'll let ya down? Ever been let down so much that you're just kind of used to it? Are you ever just sick of it, sick of being let down? AHHHHH...so many freaking negative questions. Why does everything have to be negative. OH WAIT, it doesn't. I'm dumb and make it that way. ::sigh::
I'm definitely over-exhausted. I should be in bed right now. Have to work at 8 until like 1 and then go to my other job at 6 until 10:30. Had a pretty rough/interesting day. Not all of it was bad but very little of it was good. At least there were a view points. I just need some me time. Some time to just not have a care in the world. To be able to smile non-stop and have a great time. Laying down watching a movie w/ someone's arms around me. The one person who makes me feel so comfortable and safe. The one person who I love with everything I have and yet I'm so scared of everything that comes along with it. The things that could happen. The things that have already happened. Why scared? Why that one feeling? Why can't it be something positive. I hate being scared. BEING SCARED SUCKS! Ugh.
I'm rambling on about non-sense. I'm going to go to bed now. Too many questions and NO ANSWERS! Until next time...
I hate being emotional. It makes things worse. Maybe it's just me that makes things worse. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to scream. Run outside and scream super loud. I never do though. I tend to just say things are fine and pray that it will all go away. It never does and I end up crying myself to sleep over it. I haven't cried like I have been, in so long. I used to cry ALL the time. Then everything started to get better and I was happy. Actually HAPPY! Wow. Now everything is back to the way it used to be. Eventually everything will be fine. I hope so anyway.
Ever love someone with your whole heart but you're afraid to tell them because of what they might do with it? Some will take it and cherish it but others will just play games and rip your heart out and throw it on the ground and stomp on it a few times. I guess you get what you get. Ever just want to be able to trust someone completely but you can't because you're afraid that once you actually get to that point they'll let ya down? Ever been let down so much that you're just kind of used to it? Are you ever just sick of it, sick of being let down? AHHHHH...so many freaking negative questions. Why does everything have to be negative. OH WAIT, it doesn't. I'm dumb and make it that way. ::sigh::
I'm definitely over-exhausted. I should be in bed right now. Have to work at 8 until like 1 and then go to my other job at 6 until 10:30. Had a pretty rough/interesting day. Not all of it was bad but very little of it was good. At least there were a view points. I just need some me time. Some time to just not have a care in the world. To be able to smile non-stop and have a great time. Laying down watching a movie w/ someone's arms around me. The one person who makes me feel so comfortable and safe. The one person who I love with everything I have and yet I'm so scared of everything that comes along with it. The things that could happen. The things that have already happened. Why scared? Why that one feeling? Why can't it be something positive. I hate being scared. BEING SCARED SUCKS! Ugh.
I'm rambling on about non-sense. I'm going to go to bed now. Too many questions and NO ANSWERS! Until next time...