Losing it.
I know this sounds cliche, but I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I don't think I want to pursue psychology anymore. I used to like the fact that you could find reason for the way people are the way they are and the way they behave, but I realize that it's driving me mad now. I don't like how everything about humans can be found in a textbook, like how psychology suggests it can be. It leaves no room for beauty or error. I don't want to know myself as just another lost, confused, naive teenager statistic. I don't want to be in a category. It makes people seem almost robotic. Can't people be more of a mystery or even special? Why does everything have to seem almost staged? Why should I teach a subject that I don't feel passionate about anymore?
The only thing I feel passionate about is dance or performing in general, but my parents would never go for it understandably enough. They want me to be stable financially, and everyone knows that street is not the way to go if you want to have a stable anything. And I don't think I'm good enough to make it a profession anyways...
I'm scared of the future...
I don't think I want to pursue psychology anymore. I used to like the fact that you could find reason for the way people are the way they are and the way they behave, but I realize that it's driving me mad now. I don't like how everything about humans can be found in a textbook, like how psychology suggests it can be. It leaves no room for beauty or error. I don't want to know myself as just another lost, confused, naive teenager statistic. I don't want to be in a category. It makes people seem almost robotic. Can't people be more of a mystery or even special? Why does everything have to seem almost staged? Why should I teach a subject that I don't feel passionate about anymore?
The only thing I feel passionate about is dance or performing in general, but my parents would never go for it understandably enough. They want me to be stable financially, and everyone knows that street is not the way to go if you want to have a stable anything. And I don't think I'm good enough to make it a profession anyways...
I'm scared of the future...