...This is my desire...
Have you ever sat back in your nice comfortable home and thought about how blessed you are? Well, that's what is going through my head tonight. I am so blessed. I had a job opportunity...I was hired at Horizon Air, as a Reservations Agent. In order to finalize this hire you had to pass some tests. One being a city codes test on the first day of classes. It was today. I studied, but I didn't feel a peace about it. You had to get a 90% or you were dismissed from the class. Well, before the test I prayed that God's will be done. If He wanted me to pass the test, then I would. But, if not then I knew that He has something else planned for my future. Well, I didn't pass. I missed it by 3 or 4...and it was ohkay! I totally knew after I took it that I didn't so I was ready when they told me. I walked out of there with my head held high because in reality...it is a good job opportunity...but not something I want to do with the rest of my life. If I work in an airline it has to be something exciting and something that I am not involved with computers all day!(no offense to you, babe!) That just kills my head! hehe. The only downfall about this is now I have to work at Old Navy until I find another job...but, it's all good. I am just determined to have a better attitude about it.
On another note...I'm very thoughtful tonight. Last week I was watching the news and people were talking about how they might have to start adopting kids out of Asia because the Tsunami has left so many kids orphaned. But, they can't start doing that until they are sure that the parents are deceased,and not just missing. It broke my heart and made me wish with all my heart that my family and I could adopt a child. I have always had a soft spot in my heart about adoption. I want to adopt at least one child when I get older.So yeah, I ran the idea past my mom and let's just say she wasn't to open-minded about it. Not to mention it'd prolly cost a flippin buttload. But, I'll tell you right now...if I could...I'd do it in a heart-beat, no hesitations.
Have you ever felt the desire to be anywhere else but where you are at?? I don't feel like I'm going no where in life. But, I do feel like I could be doing so much more then I am. I want to make 2005 a year to count. I want to do things this year that will help people, and change me. I want God to use me. I am open and ready for whatever he has for me to do. I'm just not sure what it is. I have always had this desire to go to Mexico. I'm not sure why but everytime a missionary came to my church I'd always have this part of me that wanted to go there, and help. There are so many orphan children down there. I used to have this idea that I'd go down there and start an orphanage. I don't know if that will ever happen but I do know one thing...I want to go on a missions trip this year. If I had a choice it would be to Mexico, but right now whatever door God opens...I'll take it! I want to do SOMETHING other then sitting here on my butt. I think going somewhere and seeing the way other people live, and just spreading the love of God...would be a life changing experience that I would never forget. Last night at church we had a evangelist there and he had just came back from Japan I believe. He had this video and it touched my heart.So many people are starving to fill this void in their life that can only be filled by God. But they are all blinded by worldly things, or other forms of religion/gods. So many people don't even know about the love of Jesus Christ and will pass off into eternity without it. People are hungry...this video proved it. More then once the evangelist, and helpers would be witnessing to someone and right there in the middle of the street they would pray and ask God into their hearts. They had no shame because it's like that was what they had been looking for. It touched my heart like none other. I want to be a witness to people. I want people to want what I have, and me be able to share it with them. My whole life I have been a christian, but in 2001 it became real to me. I wasn't just a christian...I suddenly realized how real God was. I slipped for awhile because of some instances in my life that I let overcome me and pull me away from God...but, I am back now and ready to serve God with every ounce of my being. I'm done serving myself. I want to lead people to Jesus. I may not have the words to say, or the answers to peoples questions but maybe through daily reading the word of God and gaining knowledge, and just being an example to unbelievers I can lead them to Jesus. In that video, at church it showed a cemetery filled with graves, that when on for miles, and extended through hills. It wasn't your normal everyday cemetery either. This one was packed. There wasn't even 8 inches between each gravestone.It was one of the saddest images I have seen in a long time. The only thing I could think was..."how many of those people died without God?" I almost cried. Especially because I have realized how much of a witness that I'm not. I claim to love God and have a relationship with him but why don't I show it? When you love something you are supposed to let the world know because you aren't ashamed of it. If a guy proposed to me, and gave me a ring he wouldn't want me to be silent, and hide the ring. Then he'd think I didn't love him. It's kinda like that with God...I need to be refreshed. I feel closer to God in my life right now then I have felt in so long...but, I know I have so much room to grow into a better woman of God. I want to be used by Him...I'm tired of living for myself, and I just want to live for my awesome God.
On another note...I'm very thoughtful tonight. Last week I was watching the news and people were talking about how they might have to start adopting kids out of Asia because the Tsunami has left so many kids orphaned. But, they can't start doing that until they are sure that the parents are deceased,and not just missing. It broke my heart and made me wish with all my heart that my family and I could adopt a child. I have always had a soft spot in my heart about adoption. I want to adopt at least one child when I get older.So yeah, I ran the idea past my mom and let's just say she wasn't to open-minded about it. Not to mention it'd prolly cost a flippin buttload. But, I'll tell you right now...if I could...I'd do it in a heart-beat, no hesitations.
Have you ever felt the desire to be anywhere else but where you are at?? I don't feel like I'm going no where in life. But, I do feel like I could be doing so much more then I am. I want to make 2005 a year to count. I want to do things this year that will help people, and change me. I want God to use me. I am open and ready for whatever he has for me to do. I'm just not sure what it is. I have always had this desire to go to Mexico. I'm not sure why but everytime a missionary came to my church I'd always have this part of me that wanted to go there, and help. There are so many orphan children down there. I used to have this idea that I'd go down there and start an orphanage. I don't know if that will ever happen but I do know one thing...I want to go on a missions trip this year. If I had a choice it would be to Mexico, but right now whatever door God opens...I'll take it! I want to do SOMETHING other then sitting here on my butt. I think going somewhere and seeing the way other people live, and just spreading the love of God...would be a life changing experience that I would never forget. Last night at church we had a evangelist there and he had just came back from Japan I believe. He had this video and it touched my heart.So many people are starving to fill this void in their life that can only be filled by God. But they are all blinded by worldly things, or other forms of religion/gods. So many people don't even know about the love of Jesus Christ and will pass off into eternity without it. People are hungry...this video proved it. More then once the evangelist, and helpers would be witnessing to someone and right there in the middle of the street they would pray and ask God into their hearts. They had no shame because it's like that was what they had been looking for. It touched my heart like none other. I want to be a witness to people. I want people to want what I have, and me be able to share it with them. My whole life I have been a christian, but in 2001 it became real to me. I wasn't just a christian...I suddenly realized how real God was. I slipped for awhile because of some instances in my life that I let overcome me and pull me away from God...but, I am back now and ready to serve God with every ounce of my being. I'm done serving myself. I want to lead people to Jesus. I may not have the words to say, or the answers to peoples questions but maybe through daily reading the word of God and gaining knowledge, and just being an example to unbelievers I can lead them to Jesus. In that video, at church it showed a cemetery filled with graves, that when on for miles, and extended through hills. It wasn't your normal everyday cemetery either. This one was packed. There wasn't even 8 inches between each gravestone.It was one of the saddest images I have seen in a long time. The only thing I could think was..."how many of those people died without God?" I almost cried. Especially because I have realized how much of a witness that I'm not. I claim to love God and have a relationship with him but why don't I show it? When you love something you are supposed to let the world know because you aren't ashamed of it. If a guy proposed to me, and gave me a ring he wouldn't want me to be silent, and hide the ring. Then he'd think I didn't love him. It's kinda like that with God...I need to be refreshed. I feel closer to God in my life right now then I have felt in so long...but, I know I have so much room to grow into a better woman of God. I want to be used by Him...I'm tired of living for myself, and I just want to live for my awesome God.