You Think You're Free and it Holds You Fast (Cabin Pressure, Herc/Carolyn)
Few days ago, I sent a request to Random-Nexus for a prompt. And she offered up this:
“You know, it would be a lot easier to discuss this if you would come down from there!”
And I let it stew for awhile (that is, I ran through several ideas, rejected some and then this idea came to me in the shower and refused to let me go) and then I came up with this bit. Cabin Pressure. Herc/Carolyn. Standard disclaimer: NOT MINE. SO NOT MINE. DO NOT RELEASE THE LAWYERS OF WAR ON MY ASS OH GREAT AND MIGHTY FINNEMORE!
It couldn’t have been Martin, Douglas thought as the sat-com light began blinking furiously. Martin was on holiday in North Devon with his lady love, the doe-eyed morgue attendant. Visiting Devon for a holiday was like moving from the kitchen to the dining room for a change of scene, in Douglas’ mind, but whatever makes one happy.
Personally, Douglas wondered what on earth would possess the two of them to visit The Gnome Reserve, but the thought of Martin wearing one of those ridiculous gnome hats made his morning.
Well that and the perk that Douglas would be able to fly to Edinburgh in peace. True there was Arthur and Carolyn, but one couldn’t have everything in the world, he realized. Not having Martin on the plane acting like a nervous Chihuahua in the vet office was enough of a victory for now.
So who the devil could be calling?
“Hello? MJN Air.”
“Ah Douglas,” Hercules’ voice boomed through the cabin.
Douglas inwardly groaned.
“Hello Hercules. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Is Carolyn available?”
Douglas rolled his eyes. Great. The peaceful flight was about to be broken up by two people too cynical for their own good, doing their own paltry version of Nick and Nora Charles.
For a long moment, Douglas debated about giving Hercules a hard time about the call, but that would’ve postponed the inevitable.
“I shall summon her for you.”
“Thank you,” Douglas was surprised to hear what sounded like relief in Hercules’ voice. “Say, one question.”
“Yes?”
“How did she seem today?”
Douglas blinked. Interesting. Hercules sounded rattled. Hercules was never rattled.
“No more cranky than usual - which is to say, very,” Douglas replied quickly. “I’ll get her for you now,” he said, cutting off Herc’s line of questioning with the mute button.
He pressed the button on the address system. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he began. “If our dear Carolyn Knapp-Shappey could come to the flight deck, that would be appreciated. Thank you.”
Douglas grinned to himself as he took the sat-com off of mute. This was going to be good, whatever it was.
A few seconds later, Carolyn stormed onto the deck. “What do you want now?” she snapped.
“Carolyn,” Hercules’ voice boomed over the speaker.
Whatever it was, Hercules was in trouble, Douglas realized. The man put in an extra dollop of syrup into his voice.
And even better, Carolyn’s face went pale and flushed.
“I am not speaking to you,” she snapped. Turning to Douglas she glared at him. “And you are going to be in so much trouble when we land,” she told him.
Douglas blinked. “I just merely answered the sat com,” he replied innocently.
“Oh don’t give me that.”
“What?”
“That innocent tone,” she sniffed. “It suits you about as well as Arthur lying.”
“Carolyn,” Hercules’ voice pleaded over the sat com. “We need to talk.”
“There is nothing to talk about,” she snipped, shifting her attention from Douglas to Hercules. “You said it yourself - you said you didn’t want to get married again. ‘Four times is a bit much my dear,’ I recall. ‘Why even my father said he’d skip the next one.’”
“And you didn’t let me finish,” Hercules said. There was a frustrated sigh. “You know, it would be a lot easier to discuss this if you would come down from there!”
“What am I to do? Pop on a chute and have Arthur chuck me out of the plane?”
“It would make things more peaceful,” Douglas mused out loud.
“Shut up Douglas,” Carolyn snapped. “You’re the driver. Get us to our destination and ignore this undignified attempt to win my affections.”
“Carolyn,” Hercules said. “You also said you were done after two marriages and one son. ‘No more. Never again,’ were your exact words.”
Carolyn’s expression hardened. “That was before -” her voice faltered.
Interesting. Hercules got the best of Carolyn for a moment - whatever this was about, it did get past her rhino hide, Douglas mused.
“Not wanting to get married isn’t the same as not wanting to be with someone,” Hercules continued. “I just don’t want that fuss again - all that hoopla of marriage, the moving of houses, all those trappings. I like what we have now.”
“So do I,” Carolyn muttered so softly Douglas wasn’t sure he heard her. It was unsettling being forced to witness this private conversation between two people who spent most of their time bickering and bantering.
Douglas coughed. “Oh my look,” he said quickly. “I think Nessie is about to attack us. Gotta go.”
Pressing the disconnect button, Douglas waited for Carolyn to say something pithy and storm off.
Instead, there was silence.
“Do you think he meant what he said?” Carolyn finally said.
Douglas shrugged. “Hard to say,” he said.
“I see.”
“But I can tell you this - I rarely hear Hercules Shipwright nervous, and he was nervous about wanting to talk to you.”
“Really?” Carolyn’s eyes remained focused on the clouds in front of them.
“He asked how you were feeling. That’s not a man confident in his position,” Douglas observed. “That’s not the Hercules I know.”
“Has he done anything like this before?”
Douglas blinked. “I don’t believe so,” he said, after running through their history together. “He’s one to quickly drop things he doesn’t believe are worth winning.”
“I see,” she said. Another long silence filled the cabin.
“Tell me Douglas,” Carolyn said. “Do you believe in marriage?”
Douglas shrugged. “I must,” he said. “I keep doing it.”
Her smile was mirthless. “Do you think it’s necessary for a healthy relationship?”
“You’re asking the wrong man,” Douglas said. “Honestly, you should be discussing this with Hercules. Preferably when I am nowhere in the vicinity to hear this syrup.”
Carolyn nodded. “I apologize for Herc’s display of -” her voice wavered for a moment.
“Not a problem. Just a bit of entertainment during the flight. Better than a Footballers’ Wives episode.”
“Oh shut it,” Carolyn snapped, before straightening her stance and adjusting her uniform. “Now I have to go attend to the passengers.”
With that, she swept out of the deck.
Douglas put the incident out of his mind for the remainder of the flight and during GERTI’s merry bounce of a landing, the unloading of passengers and the flight back Fitton.
Yes, everything was right as rain, he thought as he headed off to the Hose and Hydrant for a drink.
Whether or not it was due to seeing Hercules’ Mercedes by the office, or seeing Carolyn and him approach each other like shy teenagers, Douglas would never say. Most likely it was the promise of seeing a picture of Martin red-faced and in a gnome hat that made his spirits lighten. He certainly wasn’t a romantic sod like those two. No matter what other people might think.
“You know, it would be a lot easier to discuss this if you would come down from there!”
And I let it stew for awhile (that is, I ran through several ideas, rejected some and then this idea came to me in the shower and refused to let me go) and then I came up with this bit. Cabin Pressure. Herc/Carolyn. Standard disclaimer: NOT MINE. SO NOT MINE. DO NOT RELEASE THE LAWYERS OF WAR ON MY ASS OH GREAT AND MIGHTY FINNEMORE!
It couldn’t have been Martin, Douglas thought as the sat-com light began blinking furiously. Martin was on holiday in North Devon with his lady love, the doe-eyed morgue attendant. Visiting Devon for a holiday was like moving from the kitchen to the dining room for a change of scene, in Douglas’ mind, but whatever makes one happy.
Personally, Douglas wondered what on earth would possess the two of them to visit The Gnome Reserve, but the thought of Martin wearing one of those ridiculous gnome hats made his morning.
Well that and the perk that Douglas would be able to fly to Edinburgh in peace. True there was Arthur and Carolyn, but one couldn’t have everything in the world, he realized. Not having Martin on the plane acting like a nervous Chihuahua in the vet office was enough of a victory for now.
So who the devil could be calling?
“Hello? MJN Air.”
“Ah Douglas,” Hercules’ voice boomed through the cabin.
Douglas inwardly groaned.
“Hello Hercules. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Is Carolyn available?”
Douglas rolled his eyes. Great. The peaceful flight was about to be broken up by two people too cynical for their own good, doing their own paltry version of Nick and Nora Charles.
For a long moment, Douglas debated about giving Hercules a hard time about the call, but that would’ve postponed the inevitable.
“I shall summon her for you.”
“Thank you,” Douglas was surprised to hear what sounded like relief in Hercules’ voice. “Say, one question.”
“Yes?”
“How did she seem today?”
Douglas blinked. Interesting. Hercules sounded rattled. Hercules was never rattled.
“No more cranky than usual - which is to say, very,” Douglas replied quickly. “I’ll get her for you now,” he said, cutting off Herc’s line of questioning with the mute button.
He pressed the button on the address system. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he began. “If our dear Carolyn Knapp-Shappey could come to the flight deck, that would be appreciated. Thank you.”
Douglas grinned to himself as he took the sat-com off of mute. This was going to be good, whatever it was.
A few seconds later, Carolyn stormed onto the deck. “What do you want now?” she snapped.
“Carolyn,” Hercules’ voice boomed over the speaker.
Whatever it was, Hercules was in trouble, Douglas realized. The man put in an extra dollop of syrup into his voice.
And even better, Carolyn’s face went pale and flushed.
“I am not speaking to you,” she snapped. Turning to Douglas she glared at him. “And you are going to be in so much trouble when we land,” she told him.
Douglas blinked. “I just merely answered the sat com,” he replied innocently.
“Oh don’t give me that.”
“What?”
“That innocent tone,” she sniffed. “It suits you about as well as Arthur lying.”
“Carolyn,” Hercules’ voice pleaded over the sat com. “We need to talk.”
“There is nothing to talk about,” she snipped, shifting her attention from Douglas to Hercules. “You said it yourself - you said you didn’t want to get married again. ‘Four times is a bit much my dear,’ I recall. ‘Why even my father said he’d skip the next one.’”
“And you didn’t let me finish,” Hercules said. There was a frustrated sigh. “You know, it would be a lot easier to discuss this if you would come down from there!”
“What am I to do? Pop on a chute and have Arthur chuck me out of the plane?”
“It would make things more peaceful,” Douglas mused out loud.
“Shut up Douglas,” Carolyn snapped. “You’re the driver. Get us to our destination and ignore this undignified attempt to win my affections.”
“Carolyn,” Hercules said. “You also said you were done after two marriages and one son. ‘No more. Never again,’ were your exact words.”
Carolyn’s expression hardened. “That was before -” her voice faltered.
Interesting. Hercules got the best of Carolyn for a moment - whatever this was about, it did get past her rhino hide, Douglas mused.
“Not wanting to get married isn’t the same as not wanting to be with someone,” Hercules continued. “I just don’t want that fuss again - all that hoopla of marriage, the moving of houses, all those trappings. I like what we have now.”
“So do I,” Carolyn muttered so softly Douglas wasn’t sure he heard her. It was unsettling being forced to witness this private conversation between two people who spent most of their time bickering and bantering.
Douglas coughed. “Oh my look,” he said quickly. “I think Nessie is about to attack us. Gotta go.”
Pressing the disconnect button, Douglas waited for Carolyn to say something pithy and storm off.
Instead, there was silence.
“Do you think he meant what he said?” Carolyn finally said.
Douglas shrugged. “Hard to say,” he said.
“I see.”
“But I can tell you this - I rarely hear Hercules Shipwright nervous, and he was nervous about wanting to talk to you.”
“Really?” Carolyn’s eyes remained focused on the clouds in front of them.
“He asked how you were feeling. That’s not a man confident in his position,” Douglas observed. “That’s not the Hercules I know.”
“Has he done anything like this before?”
Douglas blinked. “I don’t believe so,” he said, after running through their history together. “He’s one to quickly drop things he doesn’t believe are worth winning.”
“I see,” she said. Another long silence filled the cabin.
“Tell me Douglas,” Carolyn said. “Do you believe in marriage?”
Douglas shrugged. “I must,” he said. “I keep doing it.”
Her smile was mirthless. “Do you think it’s necessary for a healthy relationship?”
“You’re asking the wrong man,” Douglas said. “Honestly, you should be discussing this with Hercules. Preferably when I am nowhere in the vicinity to hear this syrup.”
Carolyn nodded. “I apologize for Herc’s display of -” her voice wavered for a moment.
“Not a problem. Just a bit of entertainment during the flight. Better than a Footballers’ Wives episode.”
“Oh shut it,” Carolyn snapped, before straightening her stance and adjusting her uniform. “Now I have to go attend to the passengers.”
With that, she swept out of the deck.
Douglas put the incident out of his mind for the remainder of the flight and during GERTI’s merry bounce of a landing, the unloading of passengers and the flight back Fitton.
Yes, everything was right as rain, he thought as he headed off to the Hose and Hydrant for a drink.
Whether or not it was due to seeing Hercules’ Mercedes by the office, or seeing Carolyn and him approach each other like shy teenagers, Douglas would never say. Most likely it was the promise of seeing a picture of Martin red-faced and in a gnome hat that made his spirits lighten. He certainly wasn’t a romantic sod like those two. No matter what other people might think.