I’ve grown up a lot. I met a boy when I was in 10th grade, who I thought could be trusted with my heart, so I served it to him right then and there and he returned it to me, incredibly broken after six months of heart ache, hyperventilating and horrible poetry. I thought having sex meant you were in love, so I would let him push my cold body against the backseat of his car, and it did not feel good (even a little bit.) but you have to believe me when I say that I pretended that it did, and I tried to tell everyone he was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I was so fucking alone. The thing about him though, was that he would lie to my face, and break up with me because I cried because he was hurting me and tell me that he was going to kill himself and have sex with other girls, and when I met this new boy that showed me how to grow, I was scared I was going to lose him over the same reasons, because small mistakes made the other boy break up with me, and I thought it would be the same. So, instead I had an extremely tear filled revelation when I ripped up every poem the old boy wrote me, and threw the necklace he gave me off my balcony and I hope whoever found it, is happy. I thought that this may erase him from my memory, he’s not gone, but it helped me to let this new boy inside.
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